Paying for dinner on first date w/ out-of-town girl who I've known a while?

[TheCWord]

This girl and I have known each other for a bit and chat now and then but have never had the opportunity to go on a date since we live in different cities. She's now coming into town to stay the night with me. So while this is technically a first date, it obviously won't have a first date vibe.

We're going to do a night on the town and she gets in around dinner time, so it makes sense that we'll start at a restaurant. I'm kind of in a weird nexus as to whether we should split the bill or not. Normally by the time I'm taking a girl out to dinner, it's because we've had great dates, great sex, and I want to treat her to a meal. Obviously some different circumstances here.

On the one hand, we know each other somewhat well, she's driving in just to see me, she's sleeping over, paying for parking - I think it'd be a nice gesture to treat her to dinner. In fact, even when platonic female friends or male friends come in from out of town, I'll often buy them a meal. Almost like its on behalf of my city.

On the other hand, despite all the conditions above, it is still technically a first date. I wouldn't want to set any kind of precedent. I also think, under normal circumstances, spending that kind of money on a first date comes off as try-hard, the type of thing a beta does to try and buy her interest.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I'm sure right after I post this there'll be about 6 guys responding, half of them telling you to not do it cause you're the catch, the other half telling you to do it if there's a chance of banging her.

I'm telling you to make a decision yourself. Either you pay or you don't. Weigh the risk vs. benefits and make a decision. It might work out, it might not, but you gain some experience either way.

 

[LMFAO]

It's a difficult one. I would pay for it if it's reasonable. If it's more expensive with wine and otherwise probably best to split it.

She's sleeping over anyway and sex is on possible agenda you'd hope either way. It's on. You just have to prevent it from going off, by looking like a tw@t by paying 80 dollars or more or not willing to pay something small.

 

[marmel75]

Regardless of what else happens, how she acts while out with you, etc...

Make sure to invite her to sleep in your bed...ie, don't screw yourself out of a potential lay if she has been unresponsive the rest of the time...

Just be like "Come in here with me, its a lot more comfortable than the couch/other bed/etc"

I was in the same situation about 12 years ago...girl I had talked to online a lot was coming to my city to visit, went out had fun...got back to my place and offered her the guest bedroom...it wasn't til I talked a mutual friend a few years later that I found out she was really disappointed because she wanted to bang me but thought I wasn't interested when I showed her the guest room...still kicking myself for that one, she was really hot...

 

[sylvester the cat]

Creating threads and asking other people what one should or shouldn't do is what a beta does so you may as well go the whole hog and pay for the dinner OP.

 

[mr. kennedy]

Creating threads and asking other people what one should or shouldn't do is what a beta does so you may as well go the whole hog and pay for the dinner OP.

Da truth.