Pathetic!!!

[davelmn2003]

I have a SERIOUS onetis...

I haven't gotten over this girl and it has been 3 months now. I managed not to contact her for almost 2 months but just minutes ago I lost my cool, again...

I emailed her...

And I plan to call her tomorrow, long distance (I'm on vacation)...

My theory is that she might be quite bored during the summer because friends are away and the bar/club scene is quiet...

My friends...I think I'm going to be disappointed in 24 hours--after I realize that the time when she checks her email has come and passed--and no response is in sight...

I've been searching for traces of her online tonight, and for the first time I found her pictures...They brought back all the memories of our kiss and her beautiful face...I just lost my rationality there and then. That's when I quickly rationalized my behavior and sent her an e-mail...

I figured she likes taking pictures (I like taking pictures too) so I sent her a link to my website with lots of beautiful photographs that I took...then I asked her what she thinks....I also said I miss her.

Oh...I'm so pathetic!!!!

 

[Drex]

Damn I thought I was bad =(

"I miss you" - ????!?!?! You are not in a LTR with her...and you said that??

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Don't beat yourself up just for sending her a stupid email. Sheit! It's not like you built a life-size replica of her out of LEGOS and make out with it from time to time.

I confess, I'm still in contact with my ex-oneitis. Howver, I am very casual about it and our exchanges are very positive and void of awkwardness. I never feel bad about it. . .but I still see other women in the meantime. I know better than to ever put her on a pedestal again (she has plenty of pu$sy-whipped followers who do) and that's what counts.

 

[dontmindme]

buddha sure pegged it when he said that suffering comes from desire

 

[davelmn2003]

the pathetic part is that we have no contact whatsoever for 2 months now and my Head (rationality) tells me that she wants to see me or hear from me no more.

I'm still pretty bad. You can read my older posts if you want, but I still keep a bottle she once drank from, along with other things she touched (like the piece of paper she first wrote her name and # on at a club...)

Oh man...it feels so bad. My friend once told me that, "hey if it doesn't work out then you've gone out with a hot date..there's nothing lost"

But in fact, it is worse than not having met her at all. I wouldn't have tasted the sweetness of her kiss or known what I had been missing out all along.

It was like eating the apple from the wisdom tree in Eden...

 

[digitalrat]

Originally posted by davelmn2003
the pathetic part is that we have no contact whatsoever for 2 months now and my Head (rationality) tells me that she wants to see me or hear from me no more.

I'm still pretty bad. You can read my older posts if you want, but I still keep a bottle she once drank from, along with other things she touched (like the piece of paper she first wrote her name and # on at a club...)

Oh man...it feels so bad. My friend once told me that, "hey if it doesn't work out then you've gone out with a hot date..there's nothing lost"

But in fact, it is worse than not having met her at all. I wouldn't have tasted the sweetness of her kiss or known what I had been missing out all along.

It was like eating the apple from the wisdom tree in Eden...

You've won half the battle. Knowing that it was pathetic.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by davelmn2003
I have a SERIOUS onetis...

I haven't gotten over this girl and it has been 3 months now. I managed not to contact her for almost 2 months but just minutes ago I lost my cool, again...

I emailed her...

And I plan to call her tomorrow, long distance (I'm on vacation)...

My theory is that she might be quite bored during the summer because friends are away and the bar/club scene is quiet...

My friends...I think I'm going to be disappointed in 24 hours--after I realize that the time when she checks her email has come and passed--and no response is in sight...

I've been searching for traces of her online tonight, and for the first time I found her pictures...They brought back all the memories of our kiss and her beautiful face...I just lost my rationality there and then. That's when I quickly rationalized my behavior and sent her an e-mail...

I figured she likes taking pictures (I like taking pictures too) so I sent her a link to my website with lots of beautiful photographs that I took...then I asked her what she thinks....I also said I miss her.

Oh...I'm so pathetic!!!!

I think you and MrNiceGuy (see his long post somewhere below) need to go have a long discussion and bounce ideas off each other. He is in the same boat more or less.

 

[Walden]

Dave.

There is , fortunately for you a 100% foolproof proven cure for oneitis.

Go out there and f*** ten other women. Seriously bro , even if it takes a while , I guran-f***ing-tee you you'll be over her by number seven.

Good luck and good hunting to you.

 

[Jay26]

Yes it was pathetic, next time you think about doing something like this hit yourself over the head with a brick, it'll do you more good.

Move on. She don't like you like that! How can you be so head over heals over someone who doesn't even give you the time of day, you're in love with a fantasy and you need to wake up from it!!

She's just a girl, enough of the godess crap!! If she was a dream girl she'd like you, she doesn't - she ain't it!

Quite hoping this chick will turn, nothing will change until you change, like Walden said, go out and bang 10 chicks, then 10 more if need be, maybe then you'll have a chance with this girl, but not before.

 

[stevey_2000]

some people never learn.

 

[Ser_i]

I'm about to get out of that boat you guys are still in, I know it's realy hard, it's especialy hard for me on the moments I'm alone and think about the moment I'll be seeing her, the best cure for me has been a promiss to myself

I'm gonna fVck all women I can untill I forget her, and then I'm gonna fVck a bit more for désert.

I've had 6 in 2 months, and still having trouble not to think about her.

last saturday night, I was soo in to my DJ moves I was making out with a girl realy, nasty/horny, and suddenly my ex girl and her girlfriend crew passes us.. I was with a group of 6 people who pointed at her and laughed,

I had my back towards her but when I stopped kissing for a second the girl I was kissing pointed her out, look, your friends are laughing at this girl. I turned around and calmed down everyone not to do what they were doing, my ex was so confused looking at me she tried to say something and said my name. I just put a finger on my lips telling her to sush, without words. and my girl for that evening hugged me from behind and started kissing me in the neck.

---------------

I'm not saying anything with that story, but i'm saying that I've attempted to talk with my ex girl on mulitple times, I've tried to contact her multiple times, EVERY TIME I GOT IGNORED! the last time is 3 weeks ago from now. and I no longer have the urge to act as the first one to start contact or conversation. and it's the best thing I've done, I've lost that terrible feeling of looking for your ex knowing you'll see her with another guy and you'll be upset. YOU MUST FORGET HER!, stop contacthing her, she'll realise what she gave up.. or you ended and she let slip away from her.

once she finds that out.. you'll have the oppertunity, to either realy take revenge, or just try it over again,

but if you practice the DJ skills the right way, you won't care much anymore by that point when she comes up to you to appologize and tells you how much she's missing you and your ways. you'll be smiling and be honoust at her, and she'll go nuts

Never give up, allways look for better, you are an artist, You are a collector of buety and love, change your style to your mood and never ever give up

 

[davelmn2003]

update

I shouldn't have done this---you're right, I never learn...

I just called her minutes ago. She answered the phone, saying hello? I said, May I speak to Girl Y (actually it's she who answered the phone).

Then came a dead silence (but no hung-up)...

I call back 3 minutes later, assuming that there might be a connection problem. The phone was busy.

Why does she despise me so much!!!?? Why must she be so cruel? Not even a word with me? She just stopped talking as if I were some horrible person. I'm not. I care about her and I have other things going on in my life. I wasn't even trying to set up a date. Just wanted to say hello and keep in touch!!



.....i have other chicks around, but I don't feel that attachment to them as much I do to her. DJ skills I think are ultimately depersonalized...you'll get some chick(s), but these skills may not be able to land you the one you really want--and that's all that matter to me...

Now I'm getting worried that her friends may help her to spread dirty talk about me around school.

Damage control: should I e-mail her friend (she kind of liked(s?) me as a person) and explain my innocent intentions?

 

[dontmindme]

I think the situation is beyond repair.

 

[trevjr]

Man, she just basically hung up on you. What do you mean the phone went dead and when you called back it was busy?
My solution is to go somewhere where you can see a lot of women, I mean go girl watching. Start looking at women like you want them. Go to a club or bar have some drinks and talk to women.
Read the bible!
You are acting like she is the only woman in the world and she just slammed the phone in your face. Imagine she has been f***ing 3 other guys while you sit around pining for her. Kick her to the curb, get off your ass and start talking to other women. Think, there is another woman out there who is better than her but you will never meet her while you are crying over spilled milk.
It is hard I know but you have got to 'man up'. Are you a man? Then start chasing some tail!!!!

 

[MrNiceGuy]

good to see I'm not the only one feeling sorry for myself here..

at the end of the day I think I might be able to win in the pathetic stakes.. since the girl I was/am stressing over I'd never got it together with and I probably never will.. I think one-itis for someone you've been in a relationship with (your case) and one-itis for someone you've never even kissed (apart from maybe a peck on the cheek) (my case) are probably two slightly different things.

Anyway, I've spent some of this afternoon thinking about my future opportunities for hooking up with some other girls (admittedly there aren't many of them, and they are long shots) and I'm back into one of my feeling cool about it all moods..

trouble is while wondering how I might be able to seduce these girls I got back to thinking about how maybe if I'd done things differently I'd have been able to get my one-itis, but I've managed to forget that again..

so my advice.. look to the future! although not a future involving you and her together a future involving you and someone else.. then go and try and make it happen..

Of course giving advice is alot easier than following it....

 

[Ser_i]

Re: update

Originally posted by davelmn2003
I shouldn't have done this---you're right, I never learn...

I just called her minutes ago. She answered the phone, saying hello? I said, May I speak to Girl Y (actually it's she who answered the phone).

Then came a dead silence (but no hung-up)...

I call back 3 minutes later, assuming that there might be a connection problem. The phone was busy.

Why does she despise me so much!!!?? Why must she be so cruel? Not even a word with me? She just stopped talking as if I were some horrible person. I'm not.

Just wanted to say hello and keep in touch!!

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TROUGH! in my case it ended up with me being totaly drunk for 5 days straight! and what ever I had eaten all over town.

she answered the phone CAUSE she wanted to give you hope.

she went silent, CAUSE She's in charge of the situation

Her phone was busy, cause you just BUMPED up her ego big time.

She does not despise you, she is just bored with you, you didn't provide her a challenge

She is not being cruel, she's gloating cause you are misserable and you are allowing her to feel great and valuable.

she just stopped talking cause you have fooked up and been AFC

I just want to say hello and stay in touch, NO YOU DON't YOU WANT HER AT YOUR FEET, you want her to come back to you and ask for forgiveness for her behaviour.


I know what you are going trough cause I'm still kinda in it.. I'm getting out of it, but only cause I openned up my eyes.

CHANGE YOUR WAY OF THINKING, You must get control back again.
you can either totaly try to ignore her and hope you are strong enough.

you can confront her all the time, and see how long it will take you to realize you are embarrasing yourself..

or just wait and try to make up to her and live your life in vain.



seriously.. don't get yourself down, it's a good thing you realize what you are doing is bad for yourself, now just work on that feeling, and think about the bad things she is doing to you, and do you realy want to be with someone who acts to you like that ? forget about the past, it'll never be the same again, even if she does come up beg to you (never gonna happen)

It's a fresh start, try to judge her like any other girl you'd judge. just add in the extreme prejudice (spl?) about her being a slut..

WAKE UP

 

[Ser_i]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy
good to see I'm not the only one feeling sorry for myself here..

at the end of the day I think I might be able to win in the pathetic stakes.. since the girl I was/am stressing over I'd never got it together with and I probably never will.. I think one-itis for someone you've been in a relationship with (your case) and one-itis for someone you've never even kissed (apart from maybe a peck on the cheek) (my case) are probably two slightly different things.

Anyway, I've spent some of this afternoon thinking about my future opportunities for hooking up with some other girls (admittedly there aren't many of them, and they are long shots) and I'm back into one of my feeling cool about it all moods..

trouble is while wondering how I might be able to seduce these girls I got back to thinking about how maybe if I'd done things differently I'd have been able to get my one-itis, but I've managed to forget that again..

so my advice.. look to the future! although not a future involving you and her together a future involving you and someone else.. then go and try and make it happen..

Of course giving advice is alot easier than following it....

don't think about seducing other women, just let it happen you need to think positive, read the bible again, don't think about consequences, think about yourself, initiative, confidence, and yourself as king of the world

you need to read the DJ bible more

 

[davelmn2003]

Mr. Nice Guy, I think you win! But I wont' want to win in the pathetic contest either.

I guess my situation is a little "better" in that we kissed and made out. But we were not in a relationship. I only went out with her for 3 darn dates! I was hooked.

No, she did not technically hang up on me because the connection was still on, but she simply stopped talking (perhaps that's why I got a busy signal on a second try).

Of course, in reality, she practically hung up on me Is it so dam ned hard to say "I think we shouldn't go out anymore?"

She must be thinking how horrible and annoying a person I must be....I think I even annoy some of you DJ's!

This feeling is killing me...

 

[ulsterman]

Dave & MrNiceGuy, the two of you remind me so much of myself when I was in my early 20s (I'm 32 now). I was obsessed with a girl I pulled by accident at a party; when I say I pulled her by accident, I asked her to see if she could spot an eyelash that had become lodged in my eye (really irritating), whereupon she asked me if she could kiss me. Stunned, I said yes. She was quite a looker, but also at the party was her rival, another girl with whom I was really friendly, and who happened to have possibly the best body of any girl I'd ever seen in my life. Anyway, the one I kissed was, looking back, probably worried I might hit it off with her rival so I suppose she pounced first. The reality, of course, is that she never really wanted to become my girlfriend at all, although I dated her for about 6 weeks after that, during which time I took her rival to a soccer match, lol. But, as soon as she dumped me, I developed the worst love sickness I've ever experienced; I thought I would die if I could not get back with this minx. She allowed me to be her friend (how generous of her!) and she even bought me a tie-dyed top back from a holiday in Canada. "You're so sweet", she once commented around that time! Yeah, sweet and AFC and Beta wimp, that's what I was. But as that summer progressed, I'd see her at other parties, and had to agonise as she headed upstairs with some of the roughest guys around. The suffering was unbearably excruciating. She went to the same university as me, so in the autumn I would miss classes just to bring her home on Friday lunchtimes (we both lived miles away to the southwest of Belfast). One night her sister's car broke down as they were returning from a nightclub, and I happened to be driving along the same road. While someone tried to fix the car, she asked me if she could hug me to "stay warm", heh heh. Naturally, I agreed. I was hers ANYTIME she wanted me, and I think she may very well have known it.

In the end, I had to be ruthlessly decisive and walk away from thinking about her and seeking her company, as it was clear I was never going to get her back again. And the truly interesting thing is, once I did that, she made no efforts to contact me again as a friend. That's because I was a mere acquaintance to her, someone she could extract platonic favours from, but someone of little or no genuine friendship value to her and of absolutely no romantic value to her. Even so, for years afterwards my heart still skipped a beat on the few rare occasions whenever our paths would cross. By obsessing so badly over her, I had given her power over me that turned me into a tongue-tied, palpitating, cowardly, defeated, broken wimp. The last I heard of her, she was married and living in New Jersey! But I'll never forget how I so pathetically performed with that girl and how it reduced me to the kind of desperate measures you lads are speaking of.

Nowadays, I don't even resent her anymore. I'm indifferent to her, or at least, I would even smile at how juvenile I was. Heck, I even laughed about it all when I spoke to her dad about it one night a few years ago, so you can guess how unimportant she is to me now.

As for you 2 fellas, if you cannot master Don Juan-dom just yet, stick to the crude basics:

1. Write a woman off once she hangs up on you;
2. Never ask a woman you like for love advice;
3. Never hit on a girly friend who has a steady boyfriend;
4. NEVER fantasize about a woman who has made it unambiguously clear she's not interested in you (hard to do though, esp. if she's kissed you);
5. Never let a girl who has rejected you think you are suffering over it - the 3 blunders you can make here are:

a. looking at her with a self-pitied "how could you?" expression;
b. looking at her with a "I hate you" expression;
c. looking at her with a "haha, I'm so happy now without you" expression.

Just cultivate quiet indifference and a relaxed attitude toward it all, so that the next time she bumps into you, you won't have to fake your casual indifference to her.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Originally posted by Ser_i
you need to think positive, read the bible again, don't think about consequences, think about yourself, initiative, confidence, and yourself as king of the world

you need to read the DJ bible more

Don't get me wrong, thats what I've started doing again.. thinking positive.. a few days ago I was despairing that I didn't know any women as good as her, thinking the chances of me meeting anyone else were zero etc. etc.

today I've realised again that thats all bs, there are plenty of women out there and wallowing in self pity will not help me find them.. I thought to myself that actually I did have the confidence to get them, and looked at myself in the mirror and thought women are really going to want me.. Tommorow I try and put it all into action!

don't think about seducing other women, just let it happen

I don't agree with this, I spent the last 4 years of my life not thinking about seducing women and surprise surprise it didn't happen.. I suppose though at the time I wasn't interested in seducing them, I wanted them to seduce me.

Also, thinking about seducing other women is my way of negating the "you'll never possibly find anyone else as good as her" one-itis thoughts.