rick flair
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2022
- Messages
- 10
- Reaction score
- 3
- Age
- 42
As we walked back to my house after dropping Steve off, I'm sure my wife gave him a full embrace during our goodbyes. Not a kiss goodbye this time, but the kind of physical touch I simply was no longer getting and probably hadn't received in 10 plus years of our relationship. I was only getting attention like that during our first year of being together. I confronted her with my anger, my hurt and how bad she made me look. I told her he asked me the same question and responded “our sex life keeps getting better and better.” Her mindset was I was wrong and she could dismiss and laugh off anything I said. I realize now her mindset was completely dominant over mine. A big reason why – we had just had a child and she had post partum depression. I made the decision to just take all her ****, because we had just had our first and only child, and I decided to just give into her walking all over me. Another reason she was completely unattracted to me, I was being a nice guy/dutiful, just trying to keep our marriage together. Another way to read this: if she has an emotional advantage over you, she does not respect you. No respect no attraction We fought and fought. She did not care. She went on to say “your dad thinks Steve comes over to see him, he comes to see me, he’s my friend not your dad’s friend” like a jealous 14 year old. I was dumbfounded she would say something like that. Throughout all of this, I assumed she was attracted to me. Because I was a great provider, her best friend (we got along great when we weren’t fighting) father etc etc.
I thought I was a good father and husband. She appreciated no part of me. I was an overweight, stressed out, submissive, emotional wreck and she walked all over me. Steve roles around and he is much higher status. So obviously she is attracted to him not me. Not fair – but life is not fair. And in hindsight, I had her on a pedestal and now I realize she’s just a woman like any other.
Her behavior is inexcusable – but remembering the adage above helps me understand why this all happened.
Next year, I go to vegas with Steve. I repeatedly voice my concern that my wife had cheated on me. Hoping he would either, confirm out of guilt that they had cheated together or assure me there was no way she would cheat. Instead he said “no one is perfect and women have needs too.” Further deepening my concern of her cheating with Steve.
Through out the years. She would beg Steve to come visit our house, we lived in a city 8 hours away.
She wanted to call him on the phone with me present. I allowed it a couple of times. But he would dominate the conversation and make me look bad. So I stopped that.
He did our mortgage – I allowed her to take over the process completely. Lots of time with Steve on the phone without me. I allowed her to text him, without me on the thread, to plan our next trip to Vegas.
I put her in a position to cheat. She likely did not. But she thought she could do no wrong because she “was a good girl” But she caused a huge rift with her devoted husband – that is self destructive. Impacting me, her and our child.
Now, it is 2022. This has all been happening since 2004
Steve calls me and let’s me know he is in an open relationship with his second wife.
He then describes how he wants to sleep with all of his close friends wives. he did not ask me directly about my wife. But in hindsight it's pretty clear he was fishing.
I told my wife about it. She volunteered that it wasn't for her. But this was just Steve being Steve. She was not disgusted. But she was interested and wanted to hear all the gossip going forward. I started to discuss the immorality of it. She countered that it was with consenting adults. But this is to highlight she was OK with Steve's behavior.
a few months go by. Steve is now being ostracized from our friend group. Because his advances on other men's wives we're now blatant and aggressive. He was also spreading all sorts of tales of him defiling other men's wives and defiling his own wife with other men. He obviously was completely off the rails. He was also reveling in the attention he was getting. His other best friend, Steve was the best man in his wedding, had cut him off completely,
I came to my wife with this new information. I informed her that she could no longer text with him, no longer call him, we would never go to his house again bottom line she had to cut off all contact. And on that vein the last time she was at his house with me. She had to spend time with his wife and wasn't able to spend time with Steve. On the way home she castigated me because she wanted to spend time with Steve and she wasn't able to.
So I set the boundaries. She immediately accused me of being weird. We got in a big fight that night and I went to bed without the matter resolved. This then began a three-week conversation. Throughout the conversations she said things like if I (my wife) can't be friends with Steve you can't be friends with Steve. Sounding very jealous and childish. I communicated to her over and over during this three-week period why it was so important that she cut off communication. At the end of three weeks Steve texted us both on a group thread. She wrote out and eager lengthy text to him. She showed it to me and asked if she could send it. because women always tell on themselves. She joked something to the effect of am I coming across as too eager and laughed about it. At this point I realized that my marriage was completely different then I thought it was. Obviously she had no respect for me and in that moment the opinion of Steve was more important than mine. We talked about this for three weeks and obviously she did not listen to anything I had to say.
Now at this time I've lost 50 pounds, I'm at the top of my game, I've put $500,000 into the bank in cash this is to under score my career success. I've been a great father and I've been a great accommodating my in laws despite facing a lot of disrespect because I'm not from her ethnic group.
Now when our marriage was at its lowest point, I was 250 pounds, she would poke me in my stomach call me a dough boy and ask me to say woohoo. Bare in mind – she was and is morbidly obese. When we got into fights she would say things like you have no game you can't divorce me because where are you going to go another woman would not put up with the things I had to put up with when we were dating. At the time I told her not to say things like that because it was hurtful and unfair. But I was trying to be a good husband so I swept it under the rug. But as recently as two months ago she told me how she laughed with her friends about how I had no game. Because of the steve situation I started re evaluating our entire relationship.
going back in time, one year before our marriage she started physically pushing me when we would get into fights. She continued to do this into the first few years of marriage. I maturely handled it and would just leave. I explained to her that that type of behavior was unacceptable and she should never turn our fights physical. But for the rest of our marriage she would joke demine and dismiss by saying you are acting like you're some sort of battered husband or something. Totally not accepting her bad behavior. again her mindset was she could do no wrong and I was always wrong
I thought I was a good father and husband. She appreciated no part of me. I was an overweight, stressed out, submissive, emotional wreck and she walked all over me. Steve roles around and he is much higher status. So obviously she is attracted to him not me. Not fair – but life is not fair. And in hindsight, I had her on a pedestal and now I realize she’s just a woman like any other.
Her behavior is inexcusable – but remembering the adage above helps me understand why this all happened.
Next year, I go to vegas with Steve. I repeatedly voice my concern that my wife had cheated on me. Hoping he would either, confirm out of guilt that they had cheated together or assure me there was no way she would cheat. Instead he said “no one is perfect and women have needs too.” Further deepening my concern of her cheating with Steve.
Through out the years. She would beg Steve to come visit our house, we lived in a city 8 hours away.
She wanted to call him on the phone with me present. I allowed it a couple of times. But he would dominate the conversation and make me look bad. So I stopped that.
He did our mortgage – I allowed her to take over the process completely. Lots of time with Steve on the phone without me. I allowed her to text him, without me on the thread, to plan our next trip to Vegas.
I put her in a position to cheat. She likely did not. But she thought she could do no wrong because she “was a good girl” But she caused a huge rift with her devoted husband – that is self destructive. Impacting me, her and our child.
Now, it is 2022. This has all been happening since 2004
Steve calls me and let’s me know he is in an open relationship with his second wife.
He then describes how he wants to sleep with all of his close friends wives. he did not ask me directly about my wife. But in hindsight it's pretty clear he was fishing.
I told my wife about it. She volunteered that it wasn't for her. But this was just Steve being Steve. She was not disgusted. But she was interested and wanted to hear all the gossip going forward. I started to discuss the immorality of it. She countered that it was with consenting adults. But this is to highlight she was OK with Steve's behavior.
a few months go by. Steve is now being ostracized from our friend group. Because his advances on other men's wives we're now blatant and aggressive. He was also spreading all sorts of tales of him defiling other men's wives and defiling his own wife with other men. He obviously was completely off the rails. He was also reveling in the attention he was getting. His other best friend, Steve was the best man in his wedding, had cut him off completely,
I came to my wife with this new information. I informed her that she could no longer text with him, no longer call him, we would never go to his house again bottom line she had to cut off all contact. And on that vein the last time she was at his house with me. She had to spend time with his wife and wasn't able to spend time with Steve. On the way home she castigated me because she wanted to spend time with Steve and she wasn't able to.
So I set the boundaries. She immediately accused me of being weird. We got in a big fight that night and I went to bed without the matter resolved. This then began a three-week conversation. Throughout the conversations she said things like if I (my wife) can't be friends with Steve you can't be friends with Steve. Sounding very jealous and childish. I communicated to her over and over during this three-week period why it was so important that she cut off communication. At the end of three weeks Steve texted us both on a group thread. She wrote out and eager lengthy text to him. She showed it to me and asked if she could send it. because women always tell on themselves. She joked something to the effect of am I coming across as too eager and laughed about it. At this point I realized that my marriage was completely different then I thought it was. Obviously she had no respect for me and in that moment the opinion of Steve was more important than mine. We talked about this for three weeks and obviously she did not listen to anything I had to say.
Now at this time I've lost 50 pounds, I'm at the top of my game, I've put $500,000 into the bank in cash this is to under score my career success. I've been a great father and I've been a great accommodating my in laws despite facing a lot of disrespect because I'm not from her ethnic group.
Now when our marriage was at its lowest point, I was 250 pounds, she would poke me in my stomach call me a dough boy and ask me to say woohoo. Bare in mind – she was and is morbidly obese. When we got into fights she would say things like you have no game you can't divorce me because where are you going to go another woman would not put up with the things I had to put up with when we were dating. At the time I told her not to say things like that because it was hurtful and unfair. But I was trying to be a good husband so I swept it under the rug. But as recently as two months ago she told me how she laughed with her friends about how I had no game. Because of the steve situation I started re evaluating our entire relationship.
going back in time, one year before our marriage she started physically pushing me when we would get into fights. She continued to do this into the first few years of marriage. I maturely handled it and would just leave. I explained to her that that type of behavior was unacceptable and she should never turn our fights physical. But for the rest of our marriage she would joke demine and dismiss by saying you are acting like you're some sort of battered husband or something. Totally not accepting her bad behavior. again her mindset was she could do no wrong and I was always wrong