parents say i have no goals and ambition-went to school all my life, a, do i lack goa

[joe45]

ok heres the deal i'm 26 finsihed my diploma in business (community college) and previously an IT computer 1 yr certificate . i lost confidence in IT since i wrote 2 tests for 2 different companies and didn;t do well.
so far as today i am just working as a customer service rep at a call centre. its ok. no heavy lifting, and in an office environment which i like.
since i haven't worked or at all in most of my life-but going to school -collge, i lack work experience. i had a really really hard time finding work, but i did.

i'm chinese cbc and my folsk are chinese 1st generation, so now my dad is harassing and bugging me once in a while as how i have no goals and ambition. ok i was forced to go to college right after HS for upgrading for 2 yrs, then IT program for 1 yr and 2 yrs for business and also other courses at school. bascially i hardly worked in my life, b/c i was forced to go to school. my folks are super super strict and they would have harassed me to death if i didn't.

so how am i not ambition and not goal oriented , when i went to school all my life and bascially have no no work experience. i am sooo lucky to even have this call centre job.

they make comparision like Jim pattision and vancouver (expo owner )xi liang... who basically have nothing and millionaires. "ya they have no education and are millionares, how about you joe , you have college for 3 yrs".

ok do u want me to be like that? do i lack goals and ambition , i mean i am trying to find work related in my field--- in marketing coordinator, work as a e comm buyer at best buy, markeitnng analyst, but guiess what i apply many many times and no call backs. i had employers even ask what i have been doing for so many yrs, well i been goin to school.

they suggest i take up plumbing, since its in demand and lot of work and yes lot lots of money. 50/hr and u can work for urself and make even more $. since employing and working for urself you make all the money

 

[NSUballer]

Sounds like your parents dont know jack about the real world. Without experience its hard to get a job anywhere even with a degree. Dont let them get to you. Do what YOU want and nothing else. Even if that means being a plumber. which isnt a bad job.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Sad to say, but how much money you have defines "success" today!! Your parents are looking at your income only and not your education or self worth! Your parents are typical - they want financial success that overrides all other considerations!!

The key is to be happy with yourself and live your own life!!! Many people with advanced degrees in canada and Usa are out of work - so don't have regrets - the overwhelming majority of people don't become instant success -- just have long-term goals and move at your own pace!!

 

[GamePlan]

the social rat race

Sad to say, but how much money you have defines "success" today!!

I think it's even worse than that. How much money you make doesn't only define "success", but a man's value is pretty much consummerate with it(in the eyes of society).

I learned to speak fluent English and French before even daring to travel outside my country's borders (and I'm telling you, that was a whole lot of work), but people have always consider me "lazy", because at school I mostly got C's and D's in most subjects and was only good at the subjects I enjoyed and wanted to learn about...

if speaking foreign languages was a skill, that can make you large amounts of money, people would look at that in a totally different kind of way.

But, I guess, that's just how society in most industrial nations is these days.

People will prefer to work 50-60 hours a week in a job, they don't enjoy from monday-friday, come home watch some tv go to bed..relax a bit on the weekend and go back to their jobs, they hate on monday morning, just to satisfy somebody else's expectations (society's expectations or those of your parents in particular).

It's simply silly.

I'm reading a thin French book right now called "le petit prince" ("the little prince"), which somebody gave me and even though it's written a bit childish (from a child's perspective) it's so true:

The main character talks about how he sees wonderful things and describes them vividly and then goes: But to the grown ups you cannot describe it like this. You could say: the house has a wonderful garden with beautiful flowers, green grass and nice birds and they would say "Okay". But if you tell them "The house cost xyz hundred thousand dollars", they'll say "Beautiful!!!!".

And if we're honest that's really what it's like isn't it? Children are so careless and are all about having fun and enjoying life..but once people grow up, they lose their imagination and carelessness and it's all about money, money, money..when really money is supposed to be barter and a means to an end, instead of an end itself.

I'm not saying money isn't important (I'm studying to work in Internet Marketing later..but I'm honestly into that). But I think it's just incredible how people got it all wrong and don't work to live but live to work in most industrial countries these days.

That being said in mediterranean countries..Spain for example (some? in Australia) or in Brazil, etc. people have a totally different attitude than in the US, Germany, the UK or France - and thus are considered "lazy"..because hey they dont sacrifice all their free time to work, do they?...I met a guy from Brisbane..who graduated from a major he was really interested in (but that doesn't make tons of money) and now is travelling Europe and wants to go to South America and learn Spanish then (while travelling on budget) all for the fun of it. In Germany it would be more like: You just graduated from college! In a major that CANNOT make you a fortune! You should start sending out 100 applications right now!!!

I definitely have plans of moving to a place where people are more laid back than they're here in Germany after graduation (Spain, Southern France, Australia?, New Zealand). I just think that's not the way life's supposed to be.

Also reminds me of a girl from Northern France who I asked if people in Southern France were as laid back as people in Spain for example. Her answer: "Well..people in the south here in France..they're lazy...they don't want to work and all". LOL

 

[flows101]

Go and do a search for posts by the one called “POOK” he covers this subject really well in some of his posts.

 

[mintxx]

I wouldn't even talk to my parents if they said sh!t like that. Hopefully you don't live with them; I think if I hadn't left home at 18 to start paying rent my relationship with my parents wouldn't have been as good.
Incidentally, France has a 35 hour week. Although that may change with the election of Sarkozy over Segolene Royale last week.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What has happened since you posted this thread?

plumbing i need answers and folks wanting me to, the trades

 

[comic_relief]

I don't believe that I can find a job that I would be overly thrilled for unless the job was on my terms.

A couple jobs that I am looking for next year, is being the school mascot (I get to be a pirate if I get that job and it would be my first choice) or a landscaper (second choice and my favorite vocation next to being a student).

comic_relief

 

[backbreaker]

if it's one thing or another. if you would have went out and got a job fresh out of HS they would have said you should have went to school.

i will say this. People are of their generation. One thing I remembered when my mom and dad were hammering me for skipping college was that, if anyone in their heyday, espically being African American, had the opportunity to take a free ride to a private university, you took it, and didn't think twice. The thought of me not wanting to go to college because I had other plans, didn't register with them. My grandmother is worse than that. I have attempted to spend more time with my grandparents, and it's like they are soo programmed to be where they are in life, the thought of bettering yourself is harmful. It's "better know your place in this world" syndrome.

alot of people think one of two things... 1) the way they did it was the right way (in the case of my mother, going to school and getting 3 degrees... and not using one of them) OR 2) do better than I did, i.e my father, who didn't go to college, and he equates me not going to college being a failure. And I have done very well for myself, but that's not the point of at it at all.

I'M AS HAPPY AS CAN BE. that should be all that matters, and people underestimate the value of being happy every single day. I am one of the few people I know that can't tell the difference between a Tuesday or a Saturday, hell they are all the same to me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't believe that I can find a job that I would be overly thrilled for unless the job was on my terms.

Here's a crucial fact of life, there is not such thing as a job where you get to make the rules. Unless you work for yourself or otherwise own a company, your ability to get paid for your work is dependent on you following another person's rules.

 

[Wyldfire]

Your parents are half right and half wrong...and even though they are half right you need to STOP listening to them. Here's why...

Your parents are pushing what they feel you should want to do onto you. They are half right because you don't have YOUR OWN goals because you have been pursuing THEIR idea of what your goals should be. Stop doing it. You've essentially wasted 8 years of your adult life trying to please your parents instead of trying to figure out what YOU want to do with your life.

It's time to do a personal inventory. You have to think about what YOUR dreams are...what YOU would enjoy doing for a career. Once you figure that out then you need to pursue YOUR goals and dreams and stop pursuing the dreams and goals other people choose for you.

 

[joe45]

i always didn;t do well in academic schooling. average mark C average in HS . math. physics, and even english-considering i'm canadian born. i did better in college though, i guess b/c those subject were a little more appealing to me.


when your not really good at anything its hard to now what u enjoy. i didn;t do well at all in HS,but i attended class everyday, did my homework, studied and was on average a C average student. i guess not that smart or just school wasn't for me.

kinda of weird . i was always told what to do. do this , no this , ya thats ok, anything i made a decision it was no good, or not good enough or why didn't you do it this way. its like getting dictated and bossed around. growing up it was like taht, as i got older -well samething, kinda of annoying. i just now if i ever bring a girl home, as soon as she leaves-they'll be like yea her nose is too big, shes doesn't speak good enough chinese, or what not. there will always be some critical criteria they have to complain and whine about. be it the shirt i bought at Sears being too bold to myself borrowing comic books from the library-they aren't educational and a waste of time.

 

[Wyldfire]

Joe...it sounds like your parents didn't do such a good job in teaching you to learn how to make confident decisions on your own. You're going to have to teach yourself to do that. You're an adult and you need to be able to make your own choices and decisions in life. Start off small with little things and work your way up to big things. You just need to see that you can make a choice on your own without the whole world falling apart on you. You should keep a journal of all situations you face where you have to make a decision and write down your thoughts and feelings. You should list a few different possible choices and list the pros and cons for each choice. Doing this will help you in the beginning. Most importantly...no more automatically doing what others think you should. You might end up doing what others want sometimes...but it has to be because it was what YOU decided for yourself.