NOTE: I did not write this post. This is purely the work of Imperfect. His contact info can be found at the bottom of this post.
Reliable link to this post: http://fastseduction.com/masf/23/203544/
Archive link: Not available in archive yet.
The above post is de facto Copyright© by "imperfect". All rights reserved. Explicit permission from the author required for reproduction outside of this forum, web site, server, or other published resource owned by Learn The Skills Corp.
A couple days ago I was talking to one of my friends back from my old town who I hadn’t seen for over half a year now. We started talking about how things are different now from when we used to hang out, and he mentioned he had really gotten into bodybuilding. He told me he had gotten considerably bigger, and I remember him at a lean 150 5’10” or so, and he said he had packed on a considerable amount of muscle.
Anyways, he told me that he still sees himself as being skinny. Even though now he has a chest and good arms and the whole works, when he looks in the mirror he sees himself as being skinny. Even though he has clear visible proof in front of him, still skinny. Having gone through this myself (165 to 185) I was like oh damn, he’s completely right. His self-image needs to catch up with reality.
I remember one of my first days at the new school, this is after I had went through a long summer of lifting and eating religiously, and some guy was sitting next to me and I was in a t-shirt and he says, “Hey man do you play football? “Nah not this year” “Oh okay, well you’re pretty big man” “Oh hey thanks”. Quick conversation, no big deal. But then later that day I remember thinking of it and of course enjoying the ego boost I got from it at the time.
But then something dawned on me, I actually have some decent muscles on me! And it’s so weird, like what the ****? I was so used to being skinny that getting complimented on my muscles seemed like a joke. Like back when I was 165, if someone had said “Hey man look at those guns on this guy!” he would’ve been ****ing around and making fun of me. But now I have girls who say, “Wow your arms are big” and they’re actually complimenting me. But at the time it still seemed a bit strange because I didn’t see myself as big. Even though my first impression to people was that I was a good looking, well muscled athletic type guy, to me I was still this shy, dorky guy who couldn’t get a girlfriend.
We all have these moments. Where our self-image and the image other people have of us collide, and for a minute we aren’t sure which is accurate. This isn’t always good by any means. In fact, I’d say this is what’s holding anyone who is having problems with approaching girls and having good relationships from being successful. Why?
Simple. We all have this self-image of ourselves. On one hand, you have guys who think they’re total failures. They tell people “Man I couldn’t do that”, “Dude you could kick my ass I know”, “Girls think I’m ugly”, “She would never like a guy like me” and themselves this all the time. They have this self-image of themselves perceived that they are terrible at sports, with women, and pretty much everything else. So when they ask themselves “WHY can’t I get a girlfriend?” their brain will come up with some answer: you’re too short, you’re not good looking, you aren’t funny, you can’t fight, and anything else that pops into their head at the time.
And at the same time, you have guys who have self-images that completely hold them back. They tell people they are good with girls, they brag about sports, they talk **** like they’re real tough, but you’d never be able to get this type of guy to approach a girl. Why? His self-image is “I’m a total chick magnet”, but he knows if he were forced to approach a girl and possibly face rejection, the image girls perceive of him and his self-image would have to collide. So he is “too tired”, “doesn’t have to prove himself”, “isn’t in the right mood”. It’s like guys who sit around talking **** all the time, but when someone challenges them to a fight, they get scared and back off or apologize.
In either scenario, I think we can all relate to the excuse people give to not sarge. “I’m not in the mood”, “I will later these girls aren’t hot enough” “I don’t know what to say”, “I’ll probably just **** up”. For the first two examples, the guy has created a self-image of himself that he is good with girls, so if he does **** up, which he realizes he very possibly might, meaning his self-image and the world’s image of him will clash. The other guy who thinks he will just **** up is doing the same thing, just in a different way. His self-image is that he is horrible with women, and to reinforce this he doesn’t approach. He is self-sabotaging himself, because he is much more comfortable sucking with women and not facing rejection then vice versa.
“Now wait a ****ing second, I may suck with women but I’m not more comfortable sucking then never having a girlfriend!”. Yeah, I thought this too at first, but it’s bull****. You are happier emotionally at your home or at the gym or wherever you are when you SHOULD be sarging then you are out sarging. Even though logically you know you should sarge, you aren’t. And the reason for this is that you don’t want to have to face the truth: that your self-image is incorrect. Even if your self-image is negative, you still will avoid realizing it’s wrong. It’s human nature.
Like the example I gave with weight lifting. When girls and guys started commenting on my muscle, or I’d get “Hey man you’re really starting to look big now” “Wow man you got some guns on you” I wasn’t sure how to react. Even though this is clearly flattering and positive, I still had this self-image that I was a dorky, skinny guy. And to hurt the fact more, I’d compare my guys to people like Ronnie Coleman, Jay Cutler, even Arnold Schwarzenegger. So to me, I was small. My self-image was that I was skinny. Other people’s images were that I was buff. We got a problem here.
Okay, here’s one I bet everyone can relate to. Do you remember your first GOOD sarge? The one where you got a number, or kiss, or lay, and the girl was really into you, it was just a great set. I remember being literally as shocked as I was happy at my first sarge, which by sheer being in state and a bit of dumb luck alone, lasted a full hour, had all the right elements (kino, venue change, number close, plenty of IOIs, etc), and to this day is one of my best sarges, but at the time it wasn’t “right”. I’m like **** did I honestly do that? Of course at the time I was all “GWM is ****ing bomb this guy really knows his ****, which is the only reason I could have done this”, which is probably true to an extent, but I was struggling to accept the fact that me, with the self-image that girls really don’t like me as more than a friend, just had a girl I’d give at least a 7.5 or 8 who was 3 years older than me and obviously a very popular girl totally into me. Like this isn’t right. This girl is either retracted or SOMETHING, because I’m not the kind of guy who can just walk up to a girl and end up having her wanting me from not knowing her to hanging out with her for an hour. Why wasn’t she over some other cooler, older, better looking guy? If this ever happens to me I have to know the girls for like months. Right? Obviously, there is a problem here.
Reliable link to this post: http://fastseduction.com/masf/23/203544/
Archive link: Not available in archive yet.
The above post is de facto Copyright© by "imperfect". All rights reserved. Explicit permission from the author required for reproduction outside of this forum, web site, server, or other published resource owned by Learn The Skills Corp.
A couple days ago I was talking to one of my friends back from my old town who I hadn’t seen for over half a year now. We started talking about how things are different now from when we used to hang out, and he mentioned he had really gotten into bodybuilding. He told me he had gotten considerably bigger, and I remember him at a lean 150 5’10” or so, and he said he had packed on a considerable amount of muscle.
Anyways, he told me that he still sees himself as being skinny. Even though now he has a chest and good arms and the whole works, when he looks in the mirror he sees himself as being skinny. Even though he has clear visible proof in front of him, still skinny. Having gone through this myself (165 to 185) I was like oh damn, he’s completely right. His self-image needs to catch up with reality.
I remember one of my first days at the new school, this is after I had went through a long summer of lifting and eating religiously, and some guy was sitting next to me and I was in a t-shirt and he says, “Hey man do you play football? “Nah not this year” “Oh okay, well you’re pretty big man” “Oh hey thanks”. Quick conversation, no big deal. But then later that day I remember thinking of it and of course enjoying the ego boost I got from it at the time.
But then something dawned on me, I actually have some decent muscles on me! And it’s so weird, like what the ****? I was so used to being skinny that getting complimented on my muscles seemed like a joke. Like back when I was 165, if someone had said “Hey man look at those guns on this guy!” he would’ve been ****ing around and making fun of me. But now I have girls who say, “Wow your arms are big” and they’re actually complimenting me. But at the time it still seemed a bit strange because I didn’t see myself as big. Even though my first impression to people was that I was a good looking, well muscled athletic type guy, to me I was still this shy, dorky guy who couldn’t get a girlfriend.
We all have these moments. Where our self-image and the image other people have of us collide, and for a minute we aren’t sure which is accurate. This isn’t always good by any means. In fact, I’d say this is what’s holding anyone who is having problems with approaching girls and having good relationships from being successful. Why?
Simple. We all have this self-image of ourselves. On one hand, you have guys who think they’re total failures. They tell people “Man I couldn’t do that”, “Dude you could kick my ass I know”, “Girls think I’m ugly”, “She would never like a guy like me” and themselves this all the time. They have this self-image of themselves perceived that they are terrible at sports, with women, and pretty much everything else. So when they ask themselves “WHY can’t I get a girlfriend?” their brain will come up with some answer: you’re too short, you’re not good looking, you aren’t funny, you can’t fight, and anything else that pops into their head at the time.
And at the same time, you have guys who have self-images that completely hold them back. They tell people they are good with girls, they brag about sports, they talk **** like they’re real tough, but you’d never be able to get this type of guy to approach a girl. Why? His self-image is “I’m a total chick magnet”, but he knows if he were forced to approach a girl and possibly face rejection, the image girls perceive of him and his self-image would have to collide. So he is “too tired”, “doesn’t have to prove himself”, “isn’t in the right mood”. It’s like guys who sit around talking **** all the time, but when someone challenges them to a fight, they get scared and back off or apologize.
In either scenario, I think we can all relate to the excuse people give to not sarge. “I’m not in the mood”, “I will later these girls aren’t hot enough” “I don’t know what to say”, “I’ll probably just **** up”. For the first two examples, the guy has created a self-image of himself that he is good with girls, so if he does **** up, which he realizes he very possibly might, meaning his self-image and the world’s image of him will clash. The other guy who thinks he will just **** up is doing the same thing, just in a different way. His self-image is that he is horrible with women, and to reinforce this he doesn’t approach. He is self-sabotaging himself, because he is much more comfortable sucking with women and not facing rejection then vice versa.
“Now wait a ****ing second, I may suck with women but I’m not more comfortable sucking then never having a girlfriend!”. Yeah, I thought this too at first, but it’s bull****. You are happier emotionally at your home or at the gym or wherever you are when you SHOULD be sarging then you are out sarging. Even though logically you know you should sarge, you aren’t. And the reason for this is that you don’t want to have to face the truth: that your self-image is incorrect. Even if your self-image is negative, you still will avoid realizing it’s wrong. It’s human nature.
Like the example I gave with weight lifting. When girls and guys started commenting on my muscle, or I’d get “Hey man you’re really starting to look big now” “Wow man you got some guns on you” I wasn’t sure how to react. Even though this is clearly flattering and positive, I still had this self-image that I was a dorky, skinny guy. And to hurt the fact more, I’d compare my guys to people like Ronnie Coleman, Jay Cutler, even Arnold Schwarzenegger. So to me, I was small. My self-image was that I was skinny. Other people’s images were that I was buff. We got a problem here.
Okay, here’s one I bet everyone can relate to. Do you remember your first GOOD sarge? The one where you got a number, or kiss, or lay, and the girl was really into you, it was just a great set. I remember being literally as shocked as I was happy at my first sarge, which by sheer being in state and a bit of dumb luck alone, lasted a full hour, had all the right elements (kino, venue change, number close, plenty of IOIs, etc), and to this day is one of my best sarges, but at the time it wasn’t “right”. I’m like **** did I honestly do that? Of course at the time I was all “GWM is ****ing bomb this guy really knows his ****, which is the only reason I could have done this”, which is probably true to an extent, but I was struggling to accept the fact that me, with the self-image that girls really don’t like me as more than a friend, just had a girl I’d give at least a 7.5 or 8 who was 3 years older than me and obviously a very popular girl totally into me. Like this isn’t right. This girl is either retracted or SOMETHING, because I’m not the kind of guy who can just walk up to a girl and end up having her wanting me from not knowing her to hanging out with her for an hour. Why wasn’t she over some other cooler, older, better looking guy? If this ever happens to me I have to know the girls for like months. Right? Obviously, there is a problem here.
