Overcoming Fear and Insecurities

[bigmil]

Ok I haven't been here in years. Way back I had this same kinda oneitis thing with a girl and you guys helped me immensely to get my head straight. Hoping you can help me here.

I just started seeing this HB8 last week. She started pursuing me via text after I showed up to a party she hosted with a younger girl. I'm 36 and the girl I brought to her party was 25. For whatever reason several girls at the party seemed to be in competition to talk to me. I was feeling really good and calm so I just talked to whoever. I ended up going home with the girl I brought and f*ked her that night. (I had just met her that day).
So the next day the girl who hosted the party starts texting me - we had exchanged numbers the night before. Next thing you know I take her out last Friday and f*ked her. Awesome sex and amazing body. I'm feeling really confident after this.

So I went out with her again last night and hooked it up again. OK here's my problem -- I can't stop thinking about this chick. Her looks combined with her personality are mesmorizng! I know this is a bad condition to be in. Obviously she likes me because I slept with her twice already. The only thing is I feel really nervous and I feel this ultra strong attraction to her -- like I want to be with her constantly. I think it's what you guys termed oneitist.
I want to try to maintain a relationship with this chick and remain calm so I am asking for some advice. I don't want to f*ck something up by acting too needy or dependent or being too available.
I've limited the texts to bare minimum with her and haven't expressed much emotion in them.
I have plans tomorrow to have dinner with her at my house.

Any advice from you Don Juan's as to how to get my mind right or what direction I should take would be appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Pair A Dice]

Just take a deep breath.

I'm not sure I would have suggested meeting up with her for dinner, while making it at your own place, the night after banging her out again, but to each his own. If you are going through with this dinner date, cut contact for a bit after it, don't be too available. Try to do your own thing this weekend. When things settle down a bit, get up with her again.

Don't freak out and try to wear her skin like Buffalo Bill. That's a big no-no.

 

[Zunder]

Well, what direction do you want to take? You want to keep spinning plates, or you want to settle down with a girlfriend?

Heres my take on oneitis - if you have had it before you can get if again, but your at an advantage as you know the warning signs....and it seems to me you know yourself that right now you could be on the precipice because, aye - why come back to this forum and ask these questions?

So what do you want? Do you want a 'steady' girlfriend? Do you want this girl to be your girlfirend? I think you do, otherwise you'd just spin her and what the fvck?

To me the biggest red flag in your OP was where you said you can't stop thinking about her. Your doing what we want chicks to do about us...your dreaming and scheming and thinking all about HER. She is dominating your thoughts.

Danger danger danger ..........

You said you got help with your former oneitis. So did I - not just from reading about oneitis on this forum, but talking to my only one true buddy about it.
So really what I am saying is....don't go all gooey and serious about this chick when, for fvcksake, she really hasnt qualified herself to you apart from letting pound the pvssy.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Don't freak out and try to wear her skin like Buffalo Bill.

Or allow her to eat your heart.

You're falling into that endless swallowing hole of puppy-love.

What you're going through is what the younger man is supposed to experience in order to NOT fall in love with every chick's hole. It's not as common with us older guys. Your head is in the right place but you seem to have your emotional terry cloth wanting to soak up all of her juicy goodness.

The problem is you're lazy. I mean lazy as in not appreciating your options. You say you slept with two women within a couple day span. Then you bang this one again and feel all emotional and Twilight-ish. You can't afford to do this. You have to take a step back. Especially when the after glow has cooled down.