Outcome independence non needyness

[Fruitbat]

So, I am fairly well aware of this and I know the power of these two behaviours.

I have been faking it till I make it.

However, my entire self esteem, being honest with myself, is tied up with success with women.

All my achievements, all my success and interests are driven by this.

If you took it away, I'd not be driven to the same extent. I'd just play a few sports, smoke a bit of puff, have a few drinks. I wouldn't give a toss about my appearance. I'd have no desire to be a leader of men, nor to be good at a job. I'd probably just try to get an easy job where I could ponder my life away.

The thrill of pvssy, impressing pvssy, attracting it, feeling the reward for the work....it's my only driver to my success really. PerhPs that's overstated, I'd want some kind of decent position....but no where near what I am doing now.

Example: if I get blown out by a woman, if she doesn't display high I o I, if she invests little or just tries to orbit me, sends me angry and depressed. I have learned not to show as best I can.

Now, if I get that text back, start receiving I o I etc then immediately I see the possibilities in the world....not just with women but it validates everything. Maybe I am successfull, maybe I can do x y and z.

This isn't about one woman, it's about rejection and how bad it kills my spirit.

I need help in making other things the main event. I've tried but it's female attention And approval which make me tick. I need help! I know this is dangerous but if Anyone has anything I can do to remove this pathetic needy man who resides in me I would appreciate it!

 

[ubercat]

You ve got to find a simple passion that totally distracts u. For me its sports. When I m in the middle of a tight tennis match I couldn't care about all the p**** in the world.

 

[guru1000]

OK, you ready for this Fruitbat?

To be outcome independent is to be high on life; to be in a high-vibrational state.

Close your eyes. Now imagine you bought a stock which you invested a nominal amount of money or a small business venture you entertained. Now out of this nominal investment or venture, you scored big! You made $20 million in cash. All your worries have just evaporated instantaneously! Do you feel it?! Do you feel free?! How many fvcks do you give now?!

This is the high to which I refer. The key is to revert to this state without having to make 20MM. Very few of us can. But then again, very few of us are GREAT.

This is how you become outcome independent.

 

[Lozboss]

Fruit- it's tough.

But as soon as your happiness and success relies on the feelings of other people you are doomed to fail.

Women should be a by product of being a Successful Alpha Male- not the goal.

Sad to say it but whatever your sports or job is- aren't fulfilling you. You need to make some big changes in your life and do something that you WANT to do that inspires you (start your own business).

do something NEW, whatever that is. Throw out the old and do something new. You're still young.

I've just started my MBA and I've already seen a change- investing in my self has helped me start doing things for MYSELF.

 

[Fruitbat]

I think I'm going off to East Europe to do my job offshore, wanted to do this for the money but didn't have the guts. Plus fringe benefits lots of fine women so win on both counts

 

[Fruitbat]

Spinning plates seems to make the biggest diff. I got a few more, just at phone call text stage. Even if it goes nowhere it still stops me thinking about one.

 

[bmp2cpm]

......my entire self esteem, being honest with myself, is tied up with success with women.....All my achievements, all my success and interests are driven by this....if she invests little or just tries to orbit me, sends me angry and depressed. I have learned not to show a....... it's about rejection and how bad it kills my spirit.....I've tried but it's female attention And approval which make me tick. I need help! !

Fruitbat,

Woman want men with resources. A woman's specific need for specific resources is different at any given time, e.g. levels of time, money, kindness, various types of emotional support.

When a woman rejects a man it means either:

1) The man does not have the specific resources the woman is looking for OR
2) The women already is getting her needs for resources met by another guy

No man can possibly be everything to every woman. It's impossible. To think that you have to be everything to any woman you find attractive is to set yourself up for failure, time after time, after time.

Instead set yourself up for success by being able to recognize the high interest women that you are attracted to. These are women who want to secure your resources. If you like them, let them pursue you for your resources It's that simple.

You tend to overthink things. Stop doing that for your own sake. It's never about your or the relationship. It's about meeting each other's evolutionary needs for the benefit of the survival of the species. Stop making it personal.

Read the book Evolution of Desire by David Buss. It will help.

 

[Fruitbat]

Damn straight I over think things. It's because it seems no matter what I try, there's always a catch. High interest woman suddenly becomes unavailable woman for absolutely no reason, with no game change from me. V high interest woman turns out to be hiding baggage. Woman lies about her age, woman I like turns out to be veiled AW. All I ****ing want is a decent woman to be ****ing straight with me and to be into me, but like beautifully wrapped gifts with no filling, there's always some catch, some issue, I just can't understand why it's so hard just to have A standard gf without there being some tactical manipulative stuff going on, being strung along as a back up or whatever. The whole thing messes my head up.

If I could just meet honest chicks with no catch I wouldn't over think. I didn't over think before WHAM, at the oddest times stuff changes and I don't know why and you end up feeling out of control.

Just must be lacking in smv I think because I don't see high smv dudes having this happen. I got many plates now but I don't know who to trust, what they are up to, what they want me for to the extent sometimes I want to ditch them all just so I have nothing to worry about.