Ouch...need some response ideas fellas

[JCballin88]

So basically I have gone out with a girl from class a couple of times here at school. We just got back from a pleasant outing of ice cream consumption...I thought we had a really good time and all that.

Then 10 minutes after I dropped her off at her dorm she texts me and says she's sorry she hasn't brought it up, but she has a b/f back home, but hopes we can still hang out.

What do I even do here? I suppose I could go NC but we see each other in class 3X a week as well as on campus (really small school).

Should I go C/F and keep playing it off? (Ex: Well ****, I'm seeing THREE girls right now, you really need to catch up!) Or should I just ignore?

 

[yuppaz]

Nah, she used you for free ice cream. Not even worth the effort of trying to f*ck her, she's shady and uses guys.

 

[JCballin88]

Well to be clear, I actually haven't spent any money on her, other than the gas to go 3 minutes off campus. We bought rounds for each other at the bar the first time out, and bought our own ice cream this time.

 

[yuppaz]

In all honesty, I'm learning that it is crucial to FIND the right girls and not spend a whole lot of time on the wrong ones. In your case, if she's hot. Hang with her and meet hotties while with her, she is good social proof. p.s. this wouldn't be an issue if you were approaching more girls

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Well, if your intent was to get romantic/sexual, I see in two times of hanging out with her, you didn't make your intent clear. I don't mean verbally, but by trying to make a physical move. So the frame all along, at least in her eyes, was "just friends", and I'll go ahead and say that she was giving you a chance to lead the frame.

Morality/values aside, my guess is that, up until now, the jury was still out on you, but you didn't lead and make your move, so she lost interest and used it as an excuse to not cheat or go astray.

Now, this so called boyfriend might, might not exist, but that's a good way of telling you she is not interested. If and when she meets the next cool guy she's interested, expect her to "break up with her boyfriend" from back home.

You can't worry about what she does or why she does what she does. All you need to focus is on what you do when presented with these oportunities to state (by actions) your intent. Focus on you moving forward. If she's still hanging around, there is still some interest.

As to what to do, or how to respond? You already got the kiss of death. If you can detach yourself and be indiferent, then continue talking to her and treat her normally, and make sure you are working on several others.

My questions to you:

Why didn't you kiss or attempt to kiss her or touch her, specially as she was having a good time and presumably laughing at your humor and enjoying your company?

What have you learned from this?

 

[JCballin88]

^^^ I knew I would get called out on the lack of escalation. I probably should have gone for the k-close, but we're talking about a very conservative Christian girl (as is the norm at my school). I had invited her to come over to my dorm tomorrow night, where I thought things could naturally go over a little easier in this department.

As for the b/f being fictional or not, he's definitely real. She used to have her relationship with him on Facebook, but I thought they broke it off when last year when she cleared the relationship status off her page. That and the fact that she didn't bring it up the first two times we hung out made me think it wasn't still in effect.

Basically I just sorta replied something along the lines of "hey well does your b/f know you're hanging out with one of the best-looking guys on campus? haha just messing (except about the best looking part)" She thought it was funny and thanked me for understanding, and reiterated that she still wants to go out to this wing joint I had told her about. I'll probably put that quite low on my current list of priorities.

 

[Tiguere]

make theho say no. dont put it easy for her and just dissapear. next time kiss her suddenly or at least try to. and then you will see how important is that boyfriend. there is the possibility she only told you that to be guilt free for future hangouts.

 

[DocJuan]

Say: "Why would i care if you had a boyfriend?"