Other women seeing you get rejected during cold-approaches

[edger]

I was wondering for all you cold-approachers out there, what has been your success rate when other women have seen you get rejected by another woman during a cold-approach? I'd imagine it couldn't have been good, but I'd like to hear it from yourselves.

Cold-approaching is something I'm really starting to go full force with(as I'm left no choice), so I'd like some imput.

 

[PeeGee]

How are you approaching? Do they hear what you say, and do the approaches seem scripted?

I mean, this is an extreme example but if they hear you run this script then go to another girl and run another, they're going to notice something's up.

Another view, one I particularly endorse is that girls don't notice this sort of thing typically. IE if you get rejected by a girl, it's not like you're suddenly marked as a loser by every girl in the bar/club. If anything you're hurting your inner game thinking this way.

I don't notice anything out of the ordinary.

 

[STR8UP]

I'm not the "cold approach guru" by any sense of the word, but in a club type environment you should ideally be "working the room" instead or jumping from set to set. Give one chick or group of chicks some attention, then bounce to the next. You aren't hitting on them at this point, you are simply establishing your presence. Once you have made your rounds, you will be able to tell who is interested and you can go back in for the kill. There will essentially be no rejection because you will be relying on feedback to pick your targets.

I do believe that getting blown out by one hurts your chances with others. Women pay attention. If they see you interacting happily with a lot of people and getting smiles from everyone it will amp up attraction from many of them. If they see you getting the cold shoulder from one or two, you'll get negative social proof and that's not good.

 

[edger]

How are you approaching? Do they hear what you say, and do the approaches seem scripted?

My 2 approach styles:

If I'm on the dancefloor, I'll work my way in to them as I'm dancing and see if they reciprocate.

If I'm at the bar, or wherever else in the club, I'll approach with a simple, "What's up?" or "You liking the party?" I don't know if those would be considered scripted, as I don't know how often those approach entries are used. To my knowledge, I've never heard anyone bash those as being "played out" or overdone.

 

[edger]

I'm not the "cold approach guru" by any sense of the word, but in a club type environment you should ideally be "working the room" instead or jumping from set to set. Give one chick or group of chicks some attention, then bounce to the next. You aren't hitting on them at this point, you are simply establishing your presence. Once you have made your rounds, you will be able to tell who is interested and you can go back in for the kill. There will essentially be no rejection because you will be relying on feedback to pick your targets.

I do believe that getting blown out by one hurts your chances with others. Women pay attention. If they see you interacting happily with a lot of people and getting smiles from everyone it will amp up attraction from many of them. If they see you getting the cold shoulder from one or two, you'll get negative social proof and that's not good.

Thanks for the imput. This is one way I go about it too. I'll throw a hottie a smile or get strong eye contact going, and see if she reciprocates. This is probably the way I should always go about it(to avoid women noticing rejection by other women). But it's just fun to go in there without having received vibes.

 

[Snow Plowman]

I haven't seen any problems as it looks normal, no one really cares...UNLESS your affected then she'll notice that something is off about you which will cause the BLOWOUTS.

I once had a pretty crappy interaction and as a result I reactively just got up to open this 2nd girl that I opened earlier and she pulls her hand away, THEN a 3rd girl sees it and I just smile saying hi and it went well but I was so shocked by how quick everything went that I ejected.

Tonight I was with two chicks and my wing tries to come in but just walks off, sort of blown out and then opens this 3set and my girls see him get blown out.

 

[Jitterbug]

Nobody cares unless you're really causing a scene.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Edger,
Whilst things improved as I get older,my recollections of the dancing scene in my twenties were,that if openly rejected for a dance,by one woman,then those who were aware of this rejection rarely accepted when you invited them.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

It appears any venues of cold approaching are in the gym for me. I do not actually cold approach that much in public. If I do, then usually, I may just target attractive lonely older women since they are usually more friendlier and usually give out a busienss card. That's just to boost up the confidence. If I feel more confident I'll try a yonger women within my age group or below.

The gym set-up is that so there are a mixed group of people there of various ages and shapes, and you have video with head-phones on every cardio machine. In those environments, if someone doesn't take you, you can just zone yourself out mentally and look at the TV and nobody seems to care.

Also keep an eye out for other women out there that you may think are fat, ugly, older, or you are just not interested in, and if one interaction goes bad, try working on those until your confidence goes back up.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Dear Edger,
Whilst things improved as I get older,my recollections of the dancing scene in my twenties were,that if openly rejected for a dance,by one woman,then those who were aware of this rejection rarely accepted when you invited them.

Wow, and that was like 40 years ago for you -- exactly that would be in the 1970's. But I guess that is true. If it gets that bad, then you'd have to try other venues that may vibe better.

I also think that you may get lots of rejections, but maybe some girl will put all the others to shame by taking you on. All you really need is one yes, or one positive response that makes all the rejections worthwhile.

At the end of the day, what do you really think of? You think of who you connected with and forget about all the rejections.

 

[jophil28]

Dear Edger,
Whilst things improved as I get older,my recollections of the dancing scene in my twenties were,that if openly rejected for a dance,by one woman,then those who were aware of this rejection rarely accepted when you invited them.

Yes, I have seen the same thing. "There must be something wrong with him .."

Women are like sheep in many ways, they follow the lead and direction set by others.

 

[STR8UP]

Yes, I have seen the same thing. "There must be something wrong with him .."

Women are like sheep in many ways, they follow the lead and direction set by others.

It's social proof in reverse.

Women want what other women want and are repelled by what they perceive to be a man who repels women. That's why there's no better way to pick up women than to have other women in your group.

 

[MatureDJ]

I was once rejected by 24 women in one club in one night.

 

[jophil28]

I was once rejected by 24 women in one club in one night.

You must have wandered into a club for lesbian, myopic, overweight cougars in the middle of their anger management meeting.

NO guy is THAT ugly.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Edger,
good posts....Jophil suggests "
Yes, I have seen the same thing. "There must be something wrong with him .."Women are like sheep in many ways, they follow the lead and direction set by others".....Whilst agreeing with the conclusion,and accepting that your suspected cause is often the correct one,I think often it is a sense of not wanting to be seen accepting someone rejected by their peers.In a social setting the little Dears are often performing just as much to their Female friends as to you...I can really empathise with our MatureDJ to keep on trying at 23 rejections takes balls of steel,in the early sixties,when girls at a dance sat in one row facing boys sitting or standing in another.I watched a very handsome obviously Italian young Man get the same treatment.
As he went along the row the Women became more and more contemptuous in their refusals,one very plain girl,looked down her nose at him and said "I don't dance with Wogs" well may Kipling have said "The Female of the species is more deadly than the Male".

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'm not the "cold approach guru" by any sense of the word, but in a club type environment you should ideally be "working the room" instead or jumping from set to set. Give one chick or group of chicks some attention, then bounce to the next. You aren't hitting on them at this point, you are simply establishing your presence. Once you have made your rounds, you will be able to tell who is interested and you can go back in for the kill. There will essentially be no rejection because you will be relying on feedback to pick your targets.

I do believe that getting blown out by one hurts your chances with others. Women pay attention. If they see you interacting happily with a lot of people and getting smiles from everyone it will amp up attraction from many of them. If they see you getting the cold shoulder from one or two, you'll get negative social proof and that's not good.

Exactly. You ultimately want to cash in on the INTEREST, not the PRINCIPLE--in other words, by spending time being SOCIAL all over the room and letting your resultant social proof do the work for you, you'll be in a good position to throw down game later on.

As far as cold approaches go, you often NEED to be "preselected" to gain entry to the highest quality sets. You can of course do this by rolling with a large posse that includes beautiful women, but this isn't really a viable option for many guys. The alternative, then, is to make friends with strangers and just be a genuinely fun, NON-NEEDY person.

Keep all interaction friendly until you know the score--DON'T telegraph interest right away. Avoid doing dance floor approaches--it is too easy to be blatantly blown out there, and getting blown out DOES hurt your social proof.

If, by a few hours in, you can move back and forth from one set to another and lock in with both of them, you're in a 100x better position for cold approaches than if you spent all that time hanging out with your wings, watching girls walk by.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I'm not the "cold approach guru" by any sense of the word, but in a club type environment you should ideally be "working the room" instead or jumping from set to set. Give one chick or group of chicks some attention, then bounce to the next. You aren't hitting on them at this point, you are simply establishing your presence. Once you have made your rounds, you will be able to tell who is interested and you can go back in for the kill. There will essentially be no rejection because you will be relying on feedback to pick your targets.

I do believe that getting blown out by one hurts your chances with others. Women pay attention. If they see you interacting happily with a lot of people and getting smiles from everyone it will amp up attraction from many of them. If they see you getting the cold shoulder from one or two, you'll get negative social proof and that's not good.

Exactly. You ultimately want to cash in on the INTEREST, not the PRINCIPLE--in other words, by spending time being SOCIAL all over the room and letting your resultant social proof do the work for you, you'll be in a good position to throw down game later on.

As far as cold approaches go, you often NEED to be "preselected" to gain entry to the highest quality sets. You can of course do this by rolling with a large posse that includes beautiful women, but this isn't really a viable option for many guys. The alternative, then, is to make friends with strangers and just be a genuinely fun, NON-NEEDY person.

Keep all interaction friendly until you know the score--DON'T telegraph interest right away. Avoid doing dance floor approaches--it is too easy to be blatantly blown out there, and getting blown out DOES hurt your social proof.

If, by a few hours in, you can move back and forth from one set to another and lock in with both of them, you're in a 100x better position for cold approaches than if you spent all that time hanging out with your wings, watching girls walk by.

 

[Jitterbug]

everywomanshero, there's a PUA who teaches people to pick up chicks almost precisely like you described. His alias is GunWitch. He used to post here ages ago too.

 

[Warrior74]

Thanks for the imput. This is one way I go about it too. I'll throw a hottie a smile or get strong eye contact going, and see if she reciprocates. This is probably the way I should always go about it(to avoid women noticing rejection by other women). But it's just fun to go in there without having received vibes.

Is it really fun? Because if it was you wouldn't be here complaining about it. You know what to do, you just don't want to do it. Eye contact, social proof, looking for the proper signals. Just do it right and you won't be making post like this. Your not going to succeed every time even with all the proper signals being thrown your way. You just have to play the game, keep swinging until you hit a home run and stop expecting to hit a home run on every swing. Good advice in this thread if your willing to listen.

 

[Duffdog]

I don't do cold approaches like PUAs talk about doing, so a woman wouldn't really know if I got rejected or not. As far as walking up to women and asking for an opinion or something, yea I'd probably get blown out of the water 1 in 5times right off the bat doing that. I am in a position where women need me more than I need them, so that allows me to be a little selective. I've also successfully baited them to approach me numerous times. Some food for thought:

1) Consistently when I am with *attractive* black females in nightclubs I have been approached by attractive white women. I still don't know exactly why this works, I just know it does. They approach aggressively too, trying to drag me off to the dance floor and telling me that their dates suck.

2) Let's say I am walking in the food court and there is a group of girls. If I get the feeling like one of them is looking at me, kind of saying HI with her eyes if that makes any sense, then I will walk kind of close but almost like I am going to keep on trekkin, then I say hi and go into the conversation. Often the group will have selected one of the friends for me almost, usually the one I got the Hi vibe from. I don't try to do anything weird. Sometimes the friends will even push the girl onto me. If there is a lone sheep then I just walk up and talk to her. Again, I may or may not actually do any good but any woman in sight would just see me laughing and chatting with a woman and probably holding hands or the girl sittin on my lap. Those kind of approaches done that way are very low risk but there is a chance they are a waste of time too.

3) In bars and clubs, despite what PUAS say, I find lone sheep there too, or maybe two girls sitting and talking or people who are effectively cut off from a larger group. Those are easy inns for me. If there is any risk, it is with the group of 2 women. If I talk to the UG the hottie will sometimes get pissed. I do the opposite of what PUAs say, I talk to the hottie right off the bat lol although I have had experiences where I talked to the UG and the hottie would start reaching around her and stuff to get my attention. I don't waste any time on people who are going to be a pain in the ass or try talking to people under extremely weird conditions. I actually want to take a girl out of their and fvck her, I am not there to impress male spectators, so unless it is going to lead somewhere I am not going to bother with it. When I get into a set, I freaking stay there until the deal is closed or I am totally out. I will dance with the chick,set at her table, etc. and close the place down with her if I don't feel I can extract. Onetime when I was ****faced, I even sat with the friend while the girl I ahd been making out with roamed around. Then some guy followed her back over and I just started making out with her again, I dont even remember what he was saying but he took off after that and I ended up leaving with her. Some "PUA" could write up a list of all the things I did wrong but bottom line I ****ed her like there was no tommorrow while the PUA probably would've been jerking off the internet porn and writing up a field report about how cool he is. I worry more about impression management with the person right infront of me than I do what the entire rest of the club thinks, because that is the one I will be fvcking in 2 hours if there is mutual attraction and connection

The white girls you are speaking about are aware that your companion is attractive, the race matters not. I used to go out with a platinum blonde all the time and really, really hot mexican girls would hit on me. I don't know how that works either, but I think that its more to do with the females noticing that you already have a 9 or a 10 on your arm and they want to find out why.

The style of "pickup" that you do doesn't sound like PUA anyways, it sounds like you are targeting a specific girl and you want her, it was never a game to you. I do the same thing as you, I don't go out just so I can say "I got that chics number and that one also and that one over there"--- who cares?! I chose a girl because she was what I wanted and I took her home and nailed her. If anything, your "method" is not really a method, but the normal way of meeting new girls. I find that bars have more girls by themselves than clubs, but the girls at clubs seem to be more open to ditching their friends and going with you. I guess it might make a difference what type of club you are talking about also.