Other guys hitting on date

[King Lion]

OP, let’s talk about honor. Honor is not what your friends think or what your best friend thinks it is.

Women, as I have observed have a different code and your code is not transferable to them. If you think that they have no honor, you are misapplying honor. Honor cannot be enforced on another.

Honor or lack of honor resides in you and you alone. Greatness is not changing in the face of adversity. Despite all the reasons to. Including social pressure. Honor is ones own personal code. Look at all the crazies running around acting like they’re gut shot because they aren’t getting life for nothing. They made a choice and left the world of honor. Never be the butt end of a joke or the recipient of the actions of those with no honor.
Here are a few things that I like to have and reside in me. I have failed at all of them at different times in my life. There is no shame in failing, you just get back on the horse.



1 Never desert a comrade in need, in danger or in trouble.

2. Never disparage yourself or minimize your strength or power.

3. Never need praise, approval or sympathy.

4. Your self-determinism and your honor are more important than your immediate life. Better to be dead

5. Don’t desire to be liked or admired.

6. Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions.

7. Do not give or receive communication unless you yourself desire it. (The S&D you guys have been talking about. Been around a very, very long time.)

I did not come up with these. I learned them. I cannot take credit for putting them into words.
You may find other truths about your own honor. Listen to yourself. Go ahead and start now. Begin.

GREAT post...I agree...So much, I named my daughter Honor!

 

[Erik Balls]

Advice from the old lady:

If you date beautiful women there will always be men flirting with and chatting up or making passes at your girl.

This gal handled it with class. But OP got angry inside.

Get over it. “Doing something” about it simply makes you appear butt hurt and insecure.

Not a good look.

This comes with the territory. You OP must get past this. It will never change so long as you date attractive women.

depends

If youre a 40 years old self established male you may know this and be able to handle this situation cause you probably know what you worth versus your loser cousins and you also better at being able to assume or predict the quality of the women you attract and be able to trust or at least not concern of losing

If youre at your 20-30 and this is your "family", would say feel free to knock em out or at least break contact with this trash.

Also, woman who enjoys this kind of attention knowing that this makes her partner uncomfortable is clearly not a woman you want to have anything with

 

[NSX-R]

Having an attractive woman comes hand to hand with people giving her compliments.
As @BeExcellent perfectly said , your woman showed class and she didn’t respond. Showing that you are butthurted makes you only seem weak and like a child who can’t control his emotion.
Think of it a little different. You own a Ferrari and people making comments about it all the time . It’s very clear like in your example they would love to be in your position. But you know they can’t because you know that you own that ferrari no matter what they say or do so you don’t give an f . As your woman very well presented and acted , she’s loyal to you and no matter what the other guys do or say, she’ll still be by your side . The only thing you have to do is to maintain yourself confidence because that’s a test for both you and her .
For her is to show her loyalty to you and how far down on earth she is , and for you to show your self confidence and that small things like these do not affect you in any way and nothing else can translate to a woman that she’s with a strong man . If you know that you’re high value, your woman will know it too , but knowing and being don’t go hand to hand , so act like it as well .

 

[Kataface]

I definitely need to re-establish my boundaries with relatives. I would let things slide in the past to keep the peace with relatives, but I really think it was the wrong move now. Some relatives are just toxic and shouldn't be treated with respect if they don't give you any. They take advantage of kindness. The post on honor was really good. It's given me a lot to think about.
I'll start hitting the gym more too. Some people in this world will only respect you as much as they fear you.

 

[zinc4]

Hi everyone,
I was looking for advice on how to deal with other men hitting on the woman you are with right in front of you. I had brought a woman I was dating to a little get together. My cousin was there and he was making passes at her all night. His friend did the same. I was angry but wasn't sure what to do considering this cousin is someone I will have to keep seeing at various family events once covid is over with. I said they should bring their wn dates instead of hitting on mine, but they kept trying to flirt with her. Should I have started a fight? They weren't drunk either. My date ignored it or politely smiled.

In a perfect world you could just smash their faces in for the utter disrespect tossed your way.

Unfortunately, have to be political, though. The important thing is she didn't partake in it then claim its normal friendly banter. That's the worst man. When a woman tries to convince you male attention her way is always innocent and strictly platonic. That's a woman to avoid at all costs.

It sounds like you handled it fine.

I have a short fuse on me with stuff like this. Last two times it happened i called the guys out on it and basically told both of them to **** off as harsly as i could. It never decreased the girls that i was with attraction to me though. In fact it seemed to increase it.

I ended up dumping both those girls later on lol. Only a total simp hits on taken women imo.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

depends

If youre a 40 years old self established male you may know this and be able to handle this situation cause you probably know what you worth versus your loser cousins and you also better at being able to assume or predict the quality of the women you attract and be able to trust or at least not concern of losing

If youre at your 20-30 and this is your "family", would say feel free to knock em out or at least break contact with this trash.

Also, woman who enjoys this kind of attention knowing that this makes her partner uncomfortable is clearly not a woman you want to have anything with

She might not "know" that it makes her partner "uncomfortable", as it should make MOST feel disrespected, she might be so SELF absorbed and such an attention junkie that she didn't even KNOW or REALIZE it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In a perfect world you could just smash their faces in for the utter disrespect tossed your way.

Unfortunately, have to be political, though. The important thing is she didn't partake in it then claim its normal friendly banter. That's the worst man. When a woman tries to convince you male attention her way is always innocent and strictly platonic. That's a woman to avoid at all costs.

It sounds like you handled it fine.

I have a short fuse on me with stuff like this. Last two times it happened i called the guys out on it and basically told both of them to **** off as harsly as i could. It never decreased the girls that i was with attraction to me though. In fact it seemed to increase it.

I ended up dumping both those girls later on lol. Only a total simp hits on taken women imo.

But should you trust those people in any of your business and affairs after what they showed you?

 

[zinc4]

But should you trust those people in any of your business and affairs after what they showed you?

Good point. They are snakes as far as i'm concerned.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good point. They are snakes as far as i'm concerned.

They want to make you look goofy and don't respect your affairs.

 

[Grinderman]

They want to make you look goofy and don't respect your affairs.

Sometimes it's just they don't know how to talk to a female. They go all goofy. I experienced this with an older brother years
ago with my first gf. He would say HEY to me in his man voice and then heeeeeeey to her in a high pitched leechy voice....like he was talking to a child. (he was seeing his future wife at this stage) He just always had that heeeeey way of addressing any female. It was annoying and creepy but it wasn't disrespect, just goofballness on him.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sometimes it's just they don't know how to talk to a female. They go all goofy. I experienced this with an older brother years
ago with my first gf. He would say HEY to me in his man voice and then heeeeeeey to her in a high pitched leechy voice....like he was talking to a child. (he was seeing his future wife at this stage) He just always had that heeeeey way of addressing any female. It was annoying and creepy but it wasn't disrespect, just goofballness on him.

Did that "heey" girl become his wife?

 

[Grinderman]

Did that "heey" girl become his wife?

He'd say heeeey to my girlfriend while I was sitting down on the sofa with her. Whereas my brother in law (married to a sister since '87) would say hi to me and hi to her both the same. So would my other brother. This brother though felt a "need" to "flirt" with every female. My mother gave him a big head (best looking out of the lot) and I think this went to his head and he thought he was a charming stud....(he did sort of have that creepy heeey hon voice with his future wife now that I think about it......still together 20 odd years and five kids later.......).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

He'd say heeeey to my girlfriend while I was sitting down on the sofa with her. Whereas my brother in law (married to a sister since '87) would say hi to me and hi to her both the same. So would my other brother. This brother though felt a "need" to "flirt" with every female. My mother gave him a big head (best looking out of the lot) and I think this went to his head and he thought he was a charming stud....(he did sort of have that creepy heeey hon voice with his future wife now that I think about it......still together 20 odd years and five kids later.......).

LOL. She got 5 kids outta him.

 

[FuzzX]

Good news, now you know your cousin is a untrustworthy bastard.

 

[Mike32ct]

Whenever I start reading a post that contains “my cousin,” I know the story is not going to end well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Good news, now you know your cousin is a untrustworthy bastard.

They might not "hate" him, but they don't respect him and will go to messing up his business. They will mess up things other than women as well.

 

[Bandolero]

Invite the provocateur for a walk.
If he refuses - Say : then behave like it
If he goes in then kick up some dust .
They know what they are doing.
Don't believe this " I didn't mean it like that " BS
You need to stand up for yourself.
Men know how to behave and if u feel disrespected, then u have been disrespected.

I paid some € here in Germany for fights.
I don't regret it either. The money is gone, but I could not imagine living like that and not speaking up and eventually fight. It's in our DNA.

Beat him up if necessary, but drink a beer afterwards .

 

[Bandolero]

Invite the provocateur for a walk.
If he refuses - Say : then behave like it
If he goes in then kick up some dust .
They know what they are doing.
Don't believe this " I didn't mean it like that " BS
You need to stand up for yourself.
Men know how to behave and if u feel disrespected, then u have been disrespected.

I paid some € here in Germany for fights.
I don't regret it either. The money is gone, but I could not imagine living like that and not speaking up and eventually fight. It's in our DNA.

Beat him up if necessary, but drink a beer afterwards .

You will develop your boundaries without speaking them out. People senses it when somebody is willing to throw hands.

 

[oc16]

Advice from the old lady:

If you date beautiful women there will always be men flirting with and chatting up or making passes at your girl.

This gal handled it with class. But OP got angry inside.

Get over it. “Doing something” about it simply makes you appear butt hurt and insecure.

Not a good look.

This comes with the territory. You OP must get past this. It will never change so long as you date attractive women.

Most men are opportunistic when it comes to women and the possibility of getting some action, if you date a 6.0 and up and "your woman" is a marked target. If you can't deal with that don't date at all or date average at best or ugly women (don't recommend)

Some guys are disrespectful or don't even realize what they are doing.

 

[FuzzX]