ONS vs LTR vs Nothing

[New_Journey]

Let's say you go out and you meet a girl, she's hot, sexual attractive, flirty, good chemistry, she's reacting submissive, you're noticing that she's liking you a lot, you two feel a connection for lack of better word. Would you want at least one night stand and/or LTR if she:

1. Is a virgin
2. Body Count of 1
3. Body count of 50
4. Body count of 200
5. No body count number but she tells you how freaky she is.
6. Single Mom

and why wouldn't you?

 

[Chow Mein]

I think someone is trying to make sense of their partner’s body count

 

[New_Journey]

I think someone is trying to make sense of their partner’s body count

?

 

[Barrister]

The only way you know if she is LTR material is by screening her over the course of time. At least 2-3 months, preferably longer. Certainly her body count would be a factor in me considering her for an LTR - but the more important aspect is going to be how she behaves towards me over the course of time in order for me to reciprocate on the exclusivity (and of course - she must initiate that).

And to be honest - if she claimed she was a "virgin" and was over 21 I would be highly skeptical and suspicious in this day and age.

 

[pipeman84]

The only way you know if she is LTR material is by screening her over the course of time. At least 2-3 months, preferably longer.

If she's already had relationships, that means she's been screened and deemed defective. That's the bottom line. She either picked total losers (meaning she's low IQ) or she's a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with and the previous guys couldn't take it anymore.

 

[Barrister]

If she's already had relationships, that means she's been screened and deemed defective. That's the bottom line. She either picked total losers (meaning she's low IQ) or she's a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with and the previous guys couldn't take it anymore.

That is basically our dating world, brother. Almost every single chick you meet has been in failed LTRs. Most men, myself included, are no different in that aspect. I think there is certainly some merit in what you are saying, but I think that is a harsh standard to apply and you basically will never have an LTR period if that is what you are using.

 

[pipeman84]

That is basically our dating world, brother. Almost every single chick you meet has been in failed LTRs. Most men, myself included, are no different in that aspect. I think there is certainly some merit in what you are saying, but I think that is a harsh standard to apply and you basically will never have an LTR period if that is what you are using.

But men and women can't be evaluated using the same yardstick (failed relationships). Evolutionary biology, male - female dynamics and all that. Only when a man is divorced, then it's harder to put the blame on the woman as she didn't hold a gun to his head when he said 'I do' in front of the priest and the mayor (or whatever legal authority).

 

[Barrister]

But men and women can't be evaluated using the same yardstick (failed relationships). Evolutionary biology, male - female dynamics and all that. Only when a man is divorced, then it's harder to put the blame on the woman as she didn't hold a gun to his head when he said 'I do' in front of the priest and the mayor (or whatever legal authority).

I understand what you're saying. But it doesn't change the fact that your dating pool will be close to nil if you use "has she been in a failed relationship" as your litmus test. And to be clear, I am not saying you are wrong to do that. Just observing your dating market is microscopic at that point for an LTR.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'd also point out that not all relationships fail; some just end. Examples: Death of a spouse; both people agree to part ways due to timing or life circumstances or distance. Not all interactions crash & burn.

A better metric I'd suggest is whether or not a woman has had LTRs or been married. If she has then she has been pre-selected as suitable for an LTR or marriage by other men. Sometimes men cheat/lie and women end things; it's silly to assign blame to the woman in your mind 100% of the time to interactions you know zero details about.

That indicates a dogmatic mindset you carry within yourself that sets up a strong anti woman bias. Women will sense this and be repelled, this further reinforcing your faulty belief system.

So unless you are 17 this mindset actually sets you up for disappointment from the jump.

The women you've really got to wonder about are those who have never had an LTR or marriage & this becomes more and more true the older a woman is.

The question then becomes,

Why has no man chosen her? What is wrong with her? And is more pronounced if she's pretty, because men will overlook a lot of red flags to have a pretty woman.

Food for thought.

 

[SW15]

A better metric I'd suggest is whether or not a woman has had LTRs or been married. If she has then she has been pre-selected as suitable for an LTR or marriage by other men.

On the married part, that's a big no. The LTR part is a maybe.

Both LTRs and marriages increase the body count, though likely slower than unattached/quasi unattached status. Failed relationships do bring about some baggage for women, even without having children in those relationships.

She was likely the one to file for divorce in the case of a marriage. She also likely initiated the non-marital breakup.

A history of failed relationships is likely a bad sign for longevity of a future relationship. That would be important to consider for a man considering a future LTR with a specific woman.

The women you've really got to wonder about are those who have never had an LTR or marriage & this becomes more and more true the older a woman is.

This would be unusual given how many options that women have. I can't imagine a woman getting to her 26th birthday without one LTR.

That is basically our dating world, brother. Almost every single chick you meet has been in failed LTRs. Most men, myself included, are no different in that aspect. I think there is certainly some merit in what you are saying, but I think that is a harsh standard to apply and you basically will never have an LTR period if that is what you are using.

Good point. I have failed relationships, long and short term. Nearly every woman I would approach has failed LTRs and failed short term sexual relationships. I have a reasonably high body count. I think most women I've approached or been on dates with have had higher body counts. I don't know the past sexual partner count for every woman who has been on a date with me.