Online Dating

[mahon83050]

I am on an internet dating service and their are some cute girls on there. I think my question has been covered before, but I will post if again. I sent a smile (hint of interest) to a girl, she sent one back. I then sent her a brief e-mail, and she sent me one back asking me alot of question about myself. However, she replied about 3 days later. This girl looks cute and we seem to have alot in common. I got her e-mail reply last night and I was wondering if e-mailing her today would be too early and AFC. One side of me says to wait, but another side says to do it ASAP because I probably have competition and would not want her to forget who I was if I waited too long. What should I do?

 

[MisterAl]

Don't send smilies!!! Too late to worry about being an AFC.

Don't "hint" your interest! Send letters to the ones that interest you, and then get digits from the ones that reply.

This one has already gone on waaaay too long. She is talking to other guys that aren't hinting that maybe they like her. Email her tonight and tell her that you should call her soon. She might send her digits if there's any mystery left after you answered all her questions.

Next time, send letters first. Reply to responders that you should talk soon. Get digits. Call. Get the date.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MisterAl
Don't send smilies!!! Too late to worry about being an AFC.

Don't "hint" your interest! Send letters to the ones that interest you, and then get digits from the ones that reply.

This one has already gone on waaaay too long. She is talking to other guys that aren't hinting that maybe they like her. Email her tonight and tell her that you should call her soon. She might send her digits if there's any mystery left after you answered all her questions.

Next time, send letters first. Reply to responders that you should talk soon. Get digits. Call. Get the date.

DO NOT answer any of her questions via email. You are in her "qualifying" mode probably along with a bunch of other guys. You need to step out in front of the pack!

In your email reply, make a joke about the application form she is sending to all the guys that make contact with her. Then tell her that your best interviews are face to face and tell her that if she'll buy the first cappuccino, you'll talk to her

She'll either give you a bunch of excuses thus showing her low interest level or she'll ask you when and where the two of you should meet.

Stop the drama!

 

[MisterAl]

My last post was not clear. I just re-read it.

Francisco, I believe the problem here is that Mahon has _already_ answered all her questions in a previous email to her and that was when the 3-day lapse in her replies happened. Mahon, please correct me if I am wrong about this.

Keep it brief next time, and do what Francisco said if you really haven't answered her questions yet.

 

[mahon83050]

Mister Al,

No I did not answer any of her questions. I e-mailed her first, she replied with a whole bunch of stuff and asked me some questions about myself. I replied back today and revealed very little about myself, but enough to keep her on her toes. I asked if she had AOL im...I will shoot for the number next time. BTW, this chick lives over an hour away.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by mahon83050
BTW, this chick lives over an hour away.

It sounds like the distance may be an issue with you. Don't waste much effort on her if it is. If that is the case, just treat her as a friend and practice some of your DJ skills on her.

If she wants to make the effort of coming to see you, there may be an opening for her to be a FB. If not, you have not put a lot off effort into her and it will be able to move on to the next target.

 

[MisterAl]

Oh good, I misunderstood your first post.

You do need to get digits soon, like on the next email. Online women get bored while waiting to be asked out. Something like "We should talk soon. I'll call you or you can call me at 555-5878" works pretty well for me. She'll give you digits if she wants to get together. Francisco's idea about the interview is good stuff, use it.

Stay away from this IM stuff. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but why is everyone IMing each other? It's like putting your communications on answering machines where you never get to see her body-language or hear her voice inflections as you communicate. All just a bunch of trouble I think.

The distance could be a problem. My ex- lived 50 minutes away and I vowed I would never go through that crap again. Of course my current girl lives just as far away. All depends on whether you're worth it to each other. That's a value judgement you can make later.

 

[mahon83050]

Ok gents, she already replied to the e-mail I sent to her tonight. IL seems high and she gave me her AOL IM which I asked for. Should I try and get her on the IM first and go for the #, or should I just e-mail her back again and get the number. I feel reluctant on getting the number right now because we have barely communicated.

 

[MisterAl]

Barely communicated? Are you kidding?

Get her digits tomorrow. Screw the IM. Then call her by Thursday to set something up that's cheap and fun for Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. Then don't call, email or IM again. Just pick her up or meet her when and where you said you would on the phone. That's what I'd do.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by mahon83050
Ok gents, she already replied to the e-mail I sent to her tonight. IL seems high and she gave me her AOL IM which I asked for. Should I try and get her on the IM first and go for the #, or should I just e-mail her back again and get the number. I feel reluctant on getting the number right now because we have barely communicated.

Why not just get her number and/or meet her. If she's interested she will at least meet you. Why waste time, what are you afraid of?

 

[Bud Wiser]

Quit screwin' around, get the freaking digits and get on with it.

Oh, and another thing. Don't obsess over this girl. There's more. Plenty more.