Online dating. Response to no-response.

[MountainSlide]

Ok so I am on pof and have an upgraded account. And every once in a while I will send a message to a girlly and it will show up as read deleted. And I am thinking this ***** doesn't respond to me because I am better looking than her and smarter and in general everything about me is better. LoL. Okay so then I just want to send her a message and be like mocking towards her although I know there isn't any benefit other than just to put her down but I just think that it would be fulfilling. LOL. What do you guys think? too petty for a DJ. Maybe a DJ shouldn't even be on these stupid dating sites. But I am taking every avenue right now. So I am out there trying out cold-approach and I am online. And things are going to start working for me here really soon I can feel it. But I guess like my question to the board is.. Would a dj go and insult a ***** or is that below a dj?

 

[narcissist]

Your ego seems very fragile. Maybe you should forget about dating in general and work on strengthening your inner being. For a DJ above all things makes sure his inner self is strong and secure before pursuing anything else.

 

[MountainSlide]

Your ego seems very fragile. Maybe you should forget about dating in general and work on strengthening your inner being. For a DJ above all things makes sure his inner self is strong and secure before pursuing anything else.

Love words of wisdom. Thank you. I think you are right. Where is the list of activities/actions-to-take for strengthening the inner being?

 

[narcissist]

Love words of wisdom. Thank you. I think you are right. Where is the list of activities/actions-to-take for strengthening the inner being?

Hmm that is quite the question haha. I cant be 100% sure that I know how to answer that as Im still on that path myself. I will try to answer as best as I can good friend.


1] Don't take life too seriously, don't take anything personally.

I suppose this would be the first main tenant to strengthening your inner core. Understanding that life is extremely short. The more serious you take it the less fulfilling it will ultimately be. This is because eventually you will pass away. And everything you have worked for will be out of your hands. This is why you must spend the majority of your life chasing happiness. Chasing you passions goals and aspirations, but with an air of positive gaiety, because regardless of what happens its not permanent. This is extremely important to comprehend. Why? because its the PRESENT EXPERIENCES that matter most. If you are TOO serious in each present experience, so much so that you are frowning or taking things personally and getting angry of upset, then you are progressively staining each present experience which brings you closer to your last one, thus perpetuating a lack of fulfillment. Hopefully that makes any sense.

So this is why I say this: If you are taking life so seriously that you are getting upset at some other being, and being rattled at a couple of unimportant events, than stop and take it down a notch. You should always, ALWAYS be enjoying life.

2] Non-attachment & non-affectivity.

This is the second thing I want to bring up.

non-attachment:

Try to eradicate your beings inclination to become attached to things. Women, money, clothes, admiration, power, love, etc., etc.

The reason why I say this is because these things are slippery. They are very much so hard to grasp and attain, and once they are attained your minds inclination is to strive for something else that you dont have, ultimately becoming aloof to the certain thing you JUST GAINED.

essentially the things that you attain become of less value and the things you cant have are always of supreme value. This is why a girl that doesnt like you is 100000000x higher value IN OUR MINDS than a chick that is throwing herself at you. Or the shirt that you bought last week is of lesser value than the shirt that you see while window shopping.

This is why you become unattached to EVERYTHING. The only thing you need and are content with are basic needs - food, water, shelter, etc. etc. So when you don't get what you want you are unfazed.

Now becoming non-attached to everything is ridiculous unless you are a tibetan monk. So Just strive to reduce your attachments as much as you possibly can. If you are still attached to something that is fine, but the act of reducing it and the ideology behind why you don't want attachments should be enough to have profound effects.

Non-affectivity:

Once you grow a non-attachment towards things then you become unaffected when those things aren't given to you. Why? because you don't have an undying urge to obtain them.

Thus when a b1tch on pof deletes you or doesn't respond to your message you could literally give zero fvcks, because you aren't attached to female admiration and attention. Am I right?

3] Be positive, spread positivity, and chase positivity

And the last thing is this. Live a positive life. Negativity in no way shape or form will make your life more fulfilling. If your mind wants to talk sh1t to a girl of pof because she didnt respond to you thats pure negativity spewing out of your inner self, wanting to make her feel bad. And ultimately it wont make you feel any better.

Thats only adding to the problems on earth.

Just chase positivity. Surround yourself with positive people, positive influences, positive feelings, all that good sh1t.

Obviously we all have bad days, but the trick is to not dwell in it. Use it as motivation to be a better person.

And this way you will only be around positive cool girls, because your second nature ability will be cutting out any negative girls from your life or that try and enter your life. Therefore its a great screening tactic. Because no one wants to date negative woman right? hahaha.





Anyways thats all I got for tonight, tired as sh1t, just felt like spreading some love. Hope it helps man. Good luck.

 

[MountainSlide]

Thank you for your thought provoking, positive words. Perhaps a slight paradigm shift is necessary. Life is short, this is certainly true and who wants to waste it being bitter over things that don't matter. Hmm.. I think I have a little bit too much excess time on my hands. Need to find something positive that generates happiness to focus my energy on. Thank you.

 

[sylvester the cat]

read. educate yourself and improve your mind. knowledge is freedom and power. work out. improve your body. a healthy, strong body breeds confidence and masculinity.

insulting people is the verbal equivalent of and only one step away from punching people and you know where that got you last time.

 

[MountainSlide]

read. educate yourself and improve your mind. knowledge is freedom and power. work out. improve your body.

insulting people is the verbal equivalent of and only one step away from punching people and you know where that got you last time.

I'm going to disagree that insulting people is only one step away from punching people out because there are plenty of rude insulting people in the world that have never been in a fight. But on the other hand I will concede that although it doesn't physically hurt others it may emotionally hurt others. And sometimes emotional hurt can be worse than physical hurt. At the end of the day I didn't act on it, I just felt it, because I know it wouldn't serve anyone any good. But I think that Narcissist made a really nice post and it is good to receive some positive direction from someone who seemingly strives to be a better person and is willing to share some of his thoughts and findings.

 

[El Payaso]

Hmm that is quite the question haha. I cant be 100% sure that I know how to answer that as Im still on that path myself. I will try to answer as best as I can good friend.


1] Don't take life too seriously, don't take anything personally.

I suppose this would be the first main tenant to strengthening your inner core. Understanding that life is extremely short. The more serious you take it the less fulfilling it will ultimately be. This is because eventually you will pass away. And everything you have worked for will be out of your hands. This is why you must spend the majority of your life chasing happiness. Chasing you passions goals and aspirations, but with an air of positive gaiety, because regardless of what happens its not permanent. This is extremely important to comprehend. Why? because its the PRESENT EXPERIENCES that matter most. If you are TOO serious in each present experience, so much so that you are frowning or taking things personally and getting angry of upset, then you are progressively staining each present experience which brings you closer to your last one, thus perpetuating a lack of fulfillment. Hopefully that makes any sense.

So this is why I say this: If you are taking life so seriously that you are getting upset at some other being, and being rattled at a couple of unimportant events, than stop and take it down a notch. You should always, ALWAYS be enjoying life.

2] Non-attachment & non-affectivity.

This is the second thing I want to bring up.

non-attachment:

Try to eradicate your beings inclination to become attached to things. Women, money, clothes, admiration, power, love, etc., etc.

The reason why I say this is because these things are slippery. They are very much so hard to grasp and attain, and once they are attained your minds inclination is to strive for something else that you dont have, ultimately becoming aloof to the certain thing you JUST GAINED.

essentially the things that you attain become of less value and the things you cant have are always of supreme value. This is why a girl that doesnt like you is 100000000x higher value IN OUR MINDS than a chick that is throwing herself at you. Or the shirt that you bought last week is of lesser value than the shirt that you see while window shopping.

This is why you become unattached to EVERYTHING. The only thing you need and are content with are basic needs - food, water, shelter, etc. etc. So when you don't get what you want you are unfazed.

Now becoming non-attached to everything is ridiculous unless you are a tibetan monk. So Just strive to reduce your attachments as much as you possibly can. If you are still attached to something that is fine, but the act of reducing it and the ideology behind why you don't want attachments should be enough to have profound effects.

Non-affectivity:

Once you grow a non-attachment towards things then you become unaffected when those things aren't given to you. Why? because you don't have an undying urge to obtain them.

Thus when a b1tch on pof deletes you or doesn't respond to your message you could literally give zero fvcks, because you aren't attached to female admiration and attention. Am I right?

3] Be positive, spread positivity, and chase positivity

And the last thing is this. Live a positive life. Negativity in no way shape or form will make your life more fulfilling. If your mind wants to talk sh1t to a girl of pof because she didnt respond to you thats pure negativity spewing out of your inner self, wanting to make her feel bad. And ultimately it wont make you feel any better.

Thats only adding to the problems on earth.

Just chase positivity. Surround yourself with positive people, positive influences, positive feelings, all that good sh1t.

Obviously we all have bad days, but the trick is to not dwell in it. Use it as motivation to be a better person.

And this way you will only be around positive cool girls, because your second nature ability will be cutting out any negative girls from your life or that try and enter your life. Therefore its a great screening tactic. Because no one wants to date negative woman right? hahaha.





Anyways thats all I got for tonight, tired as sh1t, just felt like spreading some love. Hope it helps man. Good luck.

I had to copy this post and email it to myself. It is that good. I want to read it several times to remind myself never to take things too seriously. Looking back at some relationships I was in, I realize that me being too serious spoiled a lot of good things. Outcome independence is a good mindset to have. Be happy regardless if you get or don't get what you want.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I'm going to disagree that insulting people is only one step away from punching people out because there are plenty of rude insulting people in the world that have never been in a fight.

well, i'm not saying all people who are rude then go on to punch people.

i'm saying in terms of 'progression' physical violence is the next step after emotional violence.

 

[MountainSlide]

well, i'm not saying all people who are rude then go on to punch people.

i'm saying in terms of 'progression' physical violence is the next step after emotional violence.

Most of the time it isn't but sometimes it is. So yes.

 

[ImprovingJuan]

as some friends here said before, i was/am in the same boat. I have a fragile ego, and low self-esteem, despite not being an ugly guy i have to understand that i can become better inside and outside so these things (like a ***** rejecting me) wont affect me anymore. My advice quit the dating scene for a while, and do something you like, be busy and then return stronger.