Oneitis in my head

[kingofstl]

Guys I need some help. The situation I'm describing is distressing to me as someone who has finally woken up from beta-ness. Back in H.S. I was into this girl, there was always a bit of mutual attraction there, but not much, more like friendship a bit. Then senior year we both went on a trip and ended up spending the entire weekend making out. Due to me being a senior and she a junior, I decided to just end it there, as I didn't feel up to a long distance relationship heading into college. Now it is two years later, I've dropped out during my sophmore year in college to get my life together, and figure to go back next year, this time to the same state school she is attending.

This has rekindled old feelings. She doesn't know about any of this, I know that if I said anything I would be taken as a creeper, which ****, I am. That is what is distressing me. I keep imagining taking her out, having a good time, wrecking her, basically finally having a relationship with her. Bad oneitis, even worse because I havn't seen her for a year and a half almost. Making it worse, it makes me nervous with her at college, a freshmen, around tons of guys! This freaks me out! I know, that if my mind was straight, that it shouldn't bother me, but **** man, it does. I need help with this guys, I know its bad, I don't need any advice there. I need to know how to move forward with this. Thanks1

 

[loveshogun]

Ever notice that when a guy's life starts going to sh*t, he start thinking about these crazy theoretical situations where something will happen spontaneously and everything will be better?

I can't explain the mechanisms for this reaction because I've never studied psychology. But I know a sh*t ton of people who are always telling me about their problems, and the common thread between them is that the deeper they go into the abyss, the more tenaciously - and disturbingly crazily - their sense of hope holds on to fantasy.

Shut your mind down from thinking about her. Think about you. Figure out what YOU want to do in life. She is not your goal. Figure out what your goal is, and do that.

You're in a dangerous place - don't make yourself comfortable there by getting a girl to touch your wang while telling you that things will be okay. If you do that, you'll just remain in mediocrity because you'll have no motivation to change your situation.

 

[Myrrdin]

Priority list:

1. YOU

2. OTHER WOMEN (not your oneitis )

 

[kingofstl]

Ever notice that when a guy's life starts going to sh*t, he start thinking about these crazy theoretical situations where something will happen spontaneously and everything will be better?

I can't explain the mechanisms for this reaction because I've never studied psychology. But I know a sh*t ton of people who are always telling me about their problems, and the common thread between them is that the deeper they go into the abyss, the more tenaciously - and disturbingly crazily - their sense of hope holds on to fantasy.

Shut your mind down from thinking about her. Think about you. Figure out what YOU want to do in life. She is not your goal. Figure out what your goal is, and do that.

You're in a dangerous place - don't make yourself comfortable there by getting a girl to touch your wang while telling you that things will be okay. If you do that, you'll just remain in mediocrity because you'll have no motivation to change your situation.

Man thanks for the insight. You say a lot of stuff that rings true. My life has been crazy for the past year, you say going to sh*t, from a rough breakup and deep depression, to slowly shaking off my former beta, loser attitude, dropping out of school, etc. I find myself constantly thinking about a girl whenever I am alone. I am helping myself immensely, concentrating on what I want from life, a novel idea in this society, I know. I don't want to be thinking about this girl constantly, I have moved far enough along to know that it is a very bad thing. I would love to shut down thinking about her, she was a great girl and probably still is, but now is NOT the time to be thinking about it. Thats the problem though. Why? It seems almost like an obsession at times. How do I fight that?

Again, thanks

 

[Jeffst1980]

The answer is simply to stay busy. Pursue your own interests. Pursue lots of women. These are the keys to getting rid of oneitis; ironically, it's also the key to making your oneitis obsessed with YOU.

Some guys worry about letting their oneitis see them with other girls--the truth is, no girl has ever lost interest in a guy after seeing him with another girl on his arm. The more space you create in your life with the hopes of making yourself available to her, the more you will drive her away. It may be counter intuitive, but so is everything else in game. The more you fill your schedule with social events, the more women you will attract.

 

[Jariel]

Some guys worry about letting their oneitis see them with other girls--the truth is, no girl has ever lost interest in a guy after seeing him with another girl on his arm. The more space you create in your life with the hopes of making yourself available to her, the more you will drive her away. It may be counter intuitive, but so is everything else in game. The more you fill your schedule with social events, the more women you will attract.

I love this paragraph and just wanted to bump it for people to see.

 

[TizZle]

The answer is simply to stay busy. Pursue your own interests. Pursue lots of women. These are the keys to getting rid of oneitis; ironically, it's also the key to making your oneitis obsessed with YOU.

Some guys worry about letting their oneitis see them with other girls--the truth is, no girl has ever lost interest in a guy after seeing him with another girl on his arm. The more space you create in your life with the hopes of making yourself available to her, the more you will drive her away. It may be counter intuitive, but so is everything else in game. The more you fill your schedule with social events, the more women you will attract.

This