Oneitis - Help

[flexion_]

Got a severe case of oneitis going. Need help brothers - been dating 2 girls atm and am in high IL with one of them. We aren't committed to each other but was at the high IL one's place last night and there was a flower drop-off and I overheard her on the phone with some guy and it sounded very relationship-like.

I played everything cool and didn't bring up the phone call at all or the flowers. But quite honestly it is driving me crazy. We are going out tomorrow - should I just again ignore this stuff or bring it up? I assume bringing it up is kiss of death right?

We've had sex a few times and at times it feels like we are in a relationship. How do I recapture her high IL which I think is drifting on her part. I've been calling much less now and trying to see her once a week at the most.

Suggestions welcome... bah

 

[Starman]

when you meet her..have some lipstick smeared on your shirt collar

 

[stormwriter]

Send her twice as many flowers as he sent her!
just kidding....

It would be nice to know who this other guy is, and how much she likes him. You probably won't find that out though. And like you said, asking about it isn't the greatest idea.

Howcome you have one-itis already? You just started seeing each other.

She must be seeing some other dude, if he's sending her flowers. Or, he's some wussy chump boy that is trying to get in there by sending flowers.

Hmm, have you been doing anything to lower her Interest Level? Seriously. Think about that, and reverse what things you have done that you might think have caused the downward trend. Figure out if its YOU or HER. Maybe she just gets bored easy. Chicks are like that.

Keep us posted man, this sucks.

 

[The Business Man]

Look at it this way, if she has some chump after her, you should go a couple weeks without calling her. Her IL in you will skyrocket (assuming she has any IL at all).

Play it by ear, but be careful with your oneitis -- you really can waste a lot of time.

 

[flexion_]

Thanks storm - I think the one-itis just came after she got the flowers along with the phone call. She seems so excited on the phone and less so with me the last month.

I'm trying to think of something I may have done but nothing really comes to mind. Maybe try and show her a really great time tomorrow and then ignore her for a week and see how that goes...

 

[flexion_]

Just got a call from her - she has met someone new and really likes him and give me the friends line. She called to cancel her plans with me tomorrow but I told her she should at least show up and explain herself. Now I'm upset - suggestions?

 

[Starman]

YIKES!!!

bringing back bad memories hehe

dude .. I would just write this one off...alot of this crap stems from your internal struggle withyourself.. "Is he a better man than me?" "what does he have that I dont?"

this is where you step in, grab your balls..and KNOW you are the better man..and she just made a poor decision

 

[violator]

Businessman and Starman have the right idea on how to handle this one. Lay off of her completely. No calls, no e-mails, nothing. In fact try to create a rumor, true or fabricated, that you have moved on and are seeing other women.

Her IL will shoot right back up if she had any feelings towards you in the first place. If not, then just chalk it up as a valuable experience in your quest for DJ hood.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Call as often as possible and tell her you love her asap.

 

[Starman]

LOL! I seriously think you should do what wheelin said..this one is a lost cause ..but at least its a hit or bust with wheelins advice

if you say it in a joking way..she might even get turned on by it

 

[stormwriter]

Hey Flex, sorry to hear the news. Believe me, i know what its like to have one-itis, and it sucks for a few weeks, but if you've already pulled that much of a hottie, you can do it again!!

 

[flexion_]

Thanks brothers. Its been a tough day. We still are on for tomorrow night which will include the can I have my DVDs back conversation. LOL

You know I'm going to take the ridiculous advise of telling her I love her (in a joking way). It should be a good ice breaker. I just have to see the look on her face!

After that it will be the no contact thingy and if she interested she'll be intouch someday. There was something there so I'm sure she'll be missing that when her other new man isn't so nice.

Those feelings you expressed Starman are what I'm feeling bang on. I'm feeling much better about the situation now that I've got it out - thanks.

 

[Starman]

heh most of us have been in the same situation man..

It sucks especially because she mentioned that she likes some other guy..

But Guess what?? This will blow up in her face and she will be back..they always come back..just dont act too AFC around her..

I seriously recommend the "I love I cant live without you!" in a VERY JOKING way! I would even by a 25 cent ring from a candy machine..and propose to her

it will have her thinking was he joking or being serious?

 

[flexion_]

Hilarious that you've mentioned that Starman I was just looking around for a ring box and some really cheezy ring. We are thinking the exact same thing. This is going to be one for the history books!! LOL

 

[Starman]

heh hey flexion check this,

One time I brought a chick I liked who worked at a bar..a rotisserie chicken, and some plastic jewlrey I bought for 50 cents

She was laughing her azz off ..put on the fake jewelry..was showing her friends..but then said it was so sweet..but she had a boyfriend (who was sitting at the end of the bar getting pissed off ) haha

if anything you can laugh at this and tell your friends later..and it shows the chick you have a sense of humor about rejection

Good times!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Bro why are you sweating her so much!! A true player NEVER worries about possible competitors who are obiviously not Alpha males. You WERE the Alpha male to gain her high IL and pop her cherry. So don't even worry about it!! Don't mention ANYTHING about the other dood or flowers! That will make you look insecure and jealous in her eyes. Just go with the flow. Next time she calls you to hang out tell her your busy. Be as vague as possible. Girls are very jealous creatures by nature. She'll automatically think your fuking another girl, if you pull the busy card.

 

[dietzcoi]

Flex, you are wasting your time. Do not go out with her. She told you the deal straight up. You will make a fool of yourself. Forget her.. I know it is hard but you'll just make yourself an AFC by going and begging even in jest. You need to snap out of the oneitis fast... I would hate to be next to you in the restaurant listening if you do go out with her tomorrow (tonight?)