There is no such thing as equal love. Some have said that people don’t like relationships, but rather, the drama of them. And anyone who has been in a relationship knows that it’s nothing but drama. Unless you’ve gotten to that point where both of you are so perfect and compatible that you marry each other, every relationship is doomed for not just failure, but a nasty power struggle.
The beginning, middle and end of every relationship is about establishing power. It’s not the butterflies or the “spark” you’re feeling, it’s the anxiety that comes with going to war.
Like a good general, you must prepare for the unexpected along with the possibility of losing. You must enter with a strong attack and an even stronger defense. Like a dutiful soldier, you must be prepared for living as a prisoner of someone else’s war. Because there’s a possibility that you will lose, a 50/50 shot that you will not win that person’s heart the way she has captured yours and forever live as a slave to this person’s whims.
This daunting possibility, this chance that you will lose is what creates that roller coaster you enter upon meeting someone you’re willing to fight against. It’s also what creates all those unnecessary games and tactics we employ. The slow response, the nonchalance, the two-day rule. You strategize and theorize, making plans late at night and during the day when you should be thinking about other things. You become obsessed with your opponent.
Obsessed with the chase, the kill. You've practiced, planned and trained for this. You've fought other battles and are confident going into this one.
However, every battle, like every opponent, is different. You cannot assume that because you had the power in the last relationship, you will attain it in this one. Yet you enter this one hopeful and optimistic, winning battle after battle. Until you lose.
No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, there are always games.
Rather than fighting face to face, you employ tactics and tricks to try and capture your opponent. You run away from these advances and send subtle clues to your position, yet you never get an honest fight.
These games are supposed to trick your opponent, letting her know you don’t really care about her. Yet, you wouldn’t be fighting if you didn’t.
Unfortunately, after all the games are played and battles fought, sometimes it’s the one who misread the clues and didn’t play correctly who loses. Maybe you were playing two different games. Maybe she was playing Monopoly while you were playing Scrabble.
Maybe she forfeited right before you were about to win. Maybe you didn’t understand the rules and fell behind. Whatever the scenario, one wrong text, one too many phone calls, and one slipped feeling can be the difference between winning and losing.
The beginning, middle and end of every relationship is about establishing power. It’s not the butterflies or the “spark” you’re feeling, it’s the anxiety that comes with going to war.
Like a good general, you must prepare for the unexpected along with the possibility of losing. You must enter with a strong attack and an even stronger defense. Like a dutiful soldier, you must be prepared for living as a prisoner of someone else’s war. Because there’s a possibility that you will lose, a 50/50 shot that you will not win that person’s heart the way she has captured yours and forever live as a slave to this person’s whims.
This daunting possibility, this chance that you will lose is what creates that roller coaster you enter upon meeting someone you’re willing to fight against. It’s also what creates all those unnecessary games and tactics we employ. The slow response, the nonchalance, the two-day rule. You strategize and theorize, making plans late at night and during the day when you should be thinking about other things. You become obsessed with your opponent.
Obsessed with the chase, the kill. You've practiced, planned and trained for this. You've fought other battles and are confident going into this one.
However, every battle, like every opponent, is different. You cannot assume that because you had the power in the last relationship, you will attain it in this one. Yet you enter this one hopeful and optimistic, winning battle after battle. Until you lose.
No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, there are always games.
Rather than fighting face to face, you employ tactics and tricks to try and capture your opponent. You run away from these advances and send subtle clues to your position, yet you never get an honest fight.
These games are supposed to trick your opponent, letting her know you don’t really care about her. Yet, you wouldn’t be fighting if you didn’t.
Unfortunately, after all the games are played and battles fought, sometimes it’s the one who misread the clues and didn’t play correctly who loses. Maybe you were playing two different games. Maybe she was playing Monopoly while you were playing Scrabble.
Maybe she forfeited right before you were about to win. Maybe you didn’t understand the rules and fell behind. Whatever the scenario, one wrong text, one too many phone calls, and one slipped feeling can be the difference between winning and losing.
