One of the things I cannot get about the game.

[TheMoscower]

Hi there!

I am already 30, had quite a lot of girls, mostly russians, some success with foreigners too. I feel myself quite satisfied with this side of my life. But one thing bothers me and I want to ask you whether you feel the same.

For me all good things with women happen when you are in some kind of a flow. When you have some special light, easy-going, optimistic, funny, self-confident state of mind. Some people reach it with alcohol, some just with a big doze of socializing.
Whatever. What I dont like is that I cannot set this state in my mind forever. I cannot live in it all the time. I go to a club, talk to the girls, notice that they like me - and I have it. I become more sociable, talk to strangers in the street, feel myself ok in foreign clubs alone, with no friends around.. But if I am out of the game for a big time - due to job or stable relationship - my return would not be easy. I would have to push myself to return to the game, to hunt the girls, to approach the new ones. Its like with muscles: if you dont train them - they become weak. But where is the growth then?..

I just wonder, have you noticed the same? It looks like we are skilled just when we train ourselfes. And to be a really cool guy you need to do it all life long.. but life is to big to live only inside the game. There is so many things to do..

 

[Falcon]

What is lacking is the end game. What is the end game when it comes to sexual relationships? Producing babies, passing on your genes. That is the only reason why sex exists.

You can be the most alpha male, Don Juan extraordinaire, ****ing hundreds of women.. But if you don't pass on your genes.. it is biological failure.

Have kids and then you will see a whole different level of meaning and growth.

 

[JohnChops]

I agree. I feel the same way. It comes and goes in waves. I'm back in the game after awhile of being royally busy to have a social life and I'm not what I uses to be at all. You really have to work and make time to keep that mindset you're looking for. It isn't going to come back in five minutes either. You have to rebuild every time you leave because well things change. But I want to see what others think or how they maintain it because I would love to stay in that mindset 24/7.

 

[Uncharted]

The other thing is that you have to learn to adapt. Each situation is different, and you will probably encounter new things with each chick. Don't let it throw you for a loop.

 

[JoeMarron]

What is lacking is the end game. What is the end game when it comes to sexual relationships? Producing babies, passing on your genes. That is the only reason why sex exists.

You can be the most alpha male, Don Juan extraordinaire, ****ing hundreds of women.. But if you don't pass on your genes.. it is biological failure.

Have kids and then you will see a whole different level of meaning and growth.

I couldn't care less about passing my genes on to the next generation. Yes I'm young but I know there's plenty of older men on this forum who feel the same. You can give life whatever meaning you want.

 

[Purefilth]

I couldn't care less about passing my genes on to the next generation. Yes I'm young but I know there's plenty of older men on this forum who feel the same. You can give life whatever meaning you want.

Same. I just like to keep on keeping on.

OP I get what you're saying, but why should a relationship change you?

If it does change you then you were never the guy you thought you were anyway. So new gameplan. Stop acting, and start BEING.

Internalise the flow you feel. Why should that change?

Don't stop being a social giant just for easy vaginal access.

 

[pdx1138]

all good things with women happen when you are in some kind of a flow. When you have some special light, easy-going, optimistic, funny, self-confident state of mind. Some people reach it with alcohol, some just with a big doze of socializing.

Absofreakinlutely!

For me it's when I'm hitting the gym 5 days a week/making progress and having a full busy schedule.

Puts me right in the mode!

I've had other times (if I feel down or depressed) and going on a first date in that mindset, usually meant there wouldn't be another
because I wasn't "on." turned girl off to someone more exciting.

 

[Mike32ct]

I couldn't care less about passing my genes on to the next generation. Yes I'm young but I know there's plenty of older men on this forum who feel the same. You can give life whatever meaning you want.

Exactly. My genes suck anyway. If my genes were so great, I would have lost my virginity at 16 LOL.

Back to the OP's point, I think warm ups are essential for this game. The longer you're out of the game, the longer the warm ups take.

 

[Falcon]

I couldn't care less about passing my genes on to the next generation. Yes I'm young but I know there's plenty of older men on this forum who feel the same. You can give life whatever meaning you want.

My reply is more for the OP, but I can understand if it rubs people the wrong way on this forum. The OP is hinting that there is more to life than game. Honestly, I would have never replied if he was still in high school, hasn't tasted much success, and didn't state things like growth and asking deeper questions about life. But he did. Not everyone is ready for the end game, but at some point in life everyone faces it. Maybe this is too early, but the OP's problem can't be solved by asking HOW, it appears when you ask WHY, which is what I needed to point out.

Biology doesn't care about what you choose for meaning. You can do whatever you want. It doesn't care about what other people on this forum told you either. All it really cares about is not passing on your genes=biological failure. You can reject that but it doesn't change it.

The OP will understand the thing he cannot get about the game if he asks WHY. If you are looking for meaningful growth and the deeper parts of life you have to ask WHY.

 

[DonGorgon]

i only reason i bother with all the BS game crap[ cause i want sex from cute women so i have to play these games and go though all this BS that women love..

 

[Sandow]

You shouldn't have to be faking game. It should be to the point where it's wired in you automatically, part of your subconscious. Pick out your favorite character traits, and practice, practice, practice on being that person. Eventually, you will not have to think or analyze about being someone, it will come naturally. And I'm not even talking about "game." I'm talking about being a Man, a Leader, A DJ.
Hebbs Law- what fires together, wire together.

 

[Hydrak]

Biology doesn't care about what you choose for meaning. You can do whatever you want. It doesn't care about what other people on this forum told you either. All it really cares about is not passing on your genes=biological failure. You can reject that but it doesn't change it.

Why? The world is overpopulated, the future looks dark and there is less reason now than ever to procreate as a man. You seriously want to wake up every night to a screaming toddler who shat his diapers when you ought to wake up at 7 AM to go to work, just to not be seen as a "biological failure"? There are plenty of successful men who doesn't have children, look at George Clooney for example.
The government are brainwashing people into WANTING to procreate because they don't want a deficient birth rate. You have been brainwashed since being a kid to want to have children because the government wants you to.

OP; try to make it a habit to get into "the mood". Everytime you go out, do the thing that gets you into that state of mind and make it a habit. For me it's socializing with as many people as possible.

 

[JoeMarron]

My reply is more for the OP, but I can understand if it rubs people the wrong way on this forum. The OP is hinting that there is more to life than game. Honestly, I would have never replied if he was still in high school, hasn't tasted much success, and didn't state things like growth and asking deeper questions about life. But he did. Not everyone is ready for the end game, but at some point in life everyone faces it. Maybe this is too early, but the OP's problem can't be solved by asking HOW, it appears when you ask WHY, which is what I needed to point out.

Biology doesn't care about what you choose for meaning. You can do whatever you want. It doesn't care about what other people on this forum told you either. All it really cares about is not passing on your genes=biological failure. You can reject that but it doesn't change it.

The OP will understand the thing he cannot get about the game if he asks WHY. If you are looking for meaningful growth and the deeper parts of life you have to ask WHY.

I still don't buy it. Biology drives people to attempt to procreate. No actual child raising is necessary for meaningful growth. For women that drive may be stronger but I don't see it as necessary for a man. As long as he has a goal, some sort of lifelong pursuit his life will have plenty of meaning. I don't care about what biology deems a success and I don't believe that I'll feel any kind of emptiness for not following it.

 

[zinc4]

It's pretty much engrained inside me....PUA stuff and that state of mind in general i mean....but i have to be in a relaxed mood for it to fully come out, though....yes, alcohol brings it out quickly and it seems like almost everything i have ever learned or studied about game just comes out naturally without me thinking too much...however sober....it's still there and it comes out a good bit but not like when i am loosened up after a few drinks.......it's weird because i am a lot better at many things when buzzed from a few drinks....

for example...pool...i know quite a bit about pool and am decent when sober...but when i have a buzz i become really good....the same thing with kungfu even.....i just flow better....and i realize it comes down to this...a mind thing....when buzzed i am not thinking about scattered stuff as much as opposed to when buzzed my thinking becomes more like a straight line and i can fully focus with the utmost of ease and stuff deep down inside me starts pouring out with ease.......i can also reach this state of mind through qigong or deep meditation, but alcohol is definitely an unhealthy short cut to reach it...for me at least...

one thing that really helps in regular day life, though, with keeping that mindset is always make small talk to strangers even if they are not attractive and even guys as well and try and have fun with it...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Life is cyclical in nature. There are always going to be times when you feel really "off" or "AFCish". Having said that, a man can keep a sharp edge by making frequent small-talk with strangers and by making sure he creates fun wherever he goes. Be the creator and provider of fun wherever you are and this problem will slowly evaporate.

 

[LearningSlowly]

What you're noticing is not your need to have kids, or even your skills getting rusty.

You're finding that there are some things in life you can't control. Some nights the stars line up, more people than just you are in good moods, and logistics are solid with no random screw ups. Coincidence is working out in your favor and you find your groove.

Some nights you don't get good circumstances or you don't find your groove even when they do line up. These off nights are as unpredictable as on nights. Life is a roller coaster, ride it with a smile.

 

[BigSmooth]

Because no one is the supreme master of the universe 100% of the time.

 

[Falcon]

Having kids was a suggestion, it is not the route he has to take. He can substitute having kids with whatever is his life goal. And when I say passing on genes or having kids, that doesn't specifically mean raising them. It just means literally passing on your genes by impregnating a woman. Whether you choose to raise the child is totally up to you.

Now the point is, the OP has come to realize something a lot of us realize at some point. We struggle, learn the ropes, start having a lot of success with women... but then we realize that success with women does not equal success with life. That is the epiphany. That is when the end game starts. He said it himself "but life is to big to live only inside the game. There is so many things to do.." The issue here is time and how resources are being spent. Merely telling him to keep trying or to keep practicing will not help at all.

So then the question that is framed is HOW. How do I be good with women until forever, or be good at socializing with women forever? or have that flow by command? But in the back of his head, the OP knows this isn't practical because there is no end goal, so it really isn't the right question to ask. Instead it is better to ask WHY. Why do you want this flow to be on forever, especially when you know it will take considerable effort on your part to upkeep, like training a muscle, right? That is where the tough decisions have to be made.

How else can I explain it..........

In Batman Begins, there is a scene where Bruce's mansion is burning down and he is trapped under debris. If he doesn't get out, he dies under his collapsing mansion. Alfred then comes along and tells him "What was the point of all those push-ups if you can't even liftup a bloody log!" What is Alfred doing here? He is making the connection between training and reward. Hard work to real results. The purpose for why you do something. And thus, because he strength trained, Bruce is able to save himself from death.

And now I mirror that question back to the questioner. What's the point of putting hours upon hours, years of your life, to learn this game if what you want to do in life is outside of the game? What is the point of it all? What is the end goal? If you don't have the practical end goal, I guarantee you wont be satisfied no matter how good you get. Your actions are a lot stronger when you have a strong purpose driving them.

The reason why having kids is a very good purpose is because it aligns well with biological reasons. I don't know how many times I have to say this, but the reason why sex exists biologically is so we can reproduce and pass on our genes. I don't think anyone would argue with me on that. When I say "biological failure", I mean solely that. It doesn't mean you are a failure in life, it just means biologically you wont be represented in the gene pool in the next generation. Your biological legacy ends when you don't pass on your genes. That is all. It is really very simple and doesn't need to be complicated. If you are alright with that then it's cool. It's nothing to get offended about. But having kids is an end goal. You can say I struggled with women->learned game->impregnated woman->passed on genes (end game). On the other hand I struggled with women->learned game->continue to struggle with women->keep maintaining game->bone 200 total women->keep maintaining game.... no end goal in sight.

See the difference?

I know this may be overload for OP and a lot of people reading this site, but it is the thinking that comes when you start wanting to transcend the basic problems that you came to this site for. There comes a point where success with women isn't enough. Maybe it would be helpful to bookmark this because chances are you will run into it at some point in your life. If you look at mainstream media, it will tell you to just keep doing what you are doing, YOLO right? But that will not solve your problems. It will make them worse. Remembering this can change your life.

 

[playa99]

Falcon has it right and I can relate to exactly what he's saying and where I am now.

When I was 16 I had more game than i've got now, I could talk to anyone and was very confident, yet I was unhappy cause I had no END goals in life with women or anything really.

Now i'm 20, I know where I'm going in my career, know what I want in terms of a relation ship and built great relation ships in my family! I'm spinning the least amount of plates i've spinned when single since being 15, but damn i'm happy now and no amounts of women could make that, it flips the game on its head when you take priorities in your own life

 

[Diaforetikos]

The biggest thing you need to realize is that you're never always gonna be 'always on'. That's impossible. No one can perform at their peak 100% of the time.

With that being said though, a lot of posts in this thread have stated that basically trying to do your best with your game even when you're felling like sh*t is still going to help. Even when you've tried and nothing but bad things happen, keep going. The day may end bad, but that may not be the case for tomorrow.