One of the biggest signs of high interest level is when she says this....

narcissist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2013
Messages
1,394
Reaction score
502
Location
New York, NY
Last night my girlfriend told me she wishes that I took her virginity and that she thinks I am the "one."

If a girl ever tells you that she wishes you took her virginity, she is highly interested in you.

If a girl ever tells you she thinks you are the "one" she is highly interested in you.

Do not let it get to your head though. A relationship takes maintenance. Don't become complicit. Remain being the man that made her say these things to you. That is the trick. A relationship requires a constant upkeep of yourself, you have to remain the prize. :)
 

Champ Slice

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2016
Messages
73
Reaction score
31
Age
31
I had a girl tell me she thought I was the one. Next thing I know I have to flee the city because she is trying to get me arrested for "assault". It means nothing. Actions speak louder than words.
 

BeTheChange

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2015
Messages
1,469
Reaction score
1,144
I have heard it all and none of it meant a damn thing
This one will learn the hard way that paying attention to a woman's words is a recipe for disaster.

Women are experts at telling men what they want to hear. I used to be quite guarded with my words. Now I tell women anything, while internally not giving myself away. Basically giving them a taste of their own medicine. You can tell it mindfvcks them because there is an incongruency between your actions and your words - like a woman who tells you she wishes you took her virginity but then is texting other guys on the side (hypothetical example of course).

Play them at their own game. Women win because we as men take their words at face value. Why? Because we are monsters of ego and women know this. Keep your ego in check and you will be impervious to the manipulation of any woman.
 

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,384
Reaction score
3,871
Location
uk
Last night my girlfriend told me she wishes that I took her virginity and that she thinks I am the "one."

If a girl ever tells you that she wishes you took her virginity, she is highly interested in you.

If a girl ever tells you she thinks you are the "one" she is highly interested in you.

Do not let it get to your head though. A relationship takes maintenance. Don't become complicit. Remain being the man that made her say these things to you. That is the trick. A relationship requires a constant upkeep of yourself, you have to remain the prize. :)

i think this is pretty obvious stuff , but if anything i wouldnt want a woman telling me sh1t like this because usually it means shes on her way to becoming super needy on me which is a huge turn off
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
2,638
Sorry but that's bullsh!t. My ex told me that. A few months later, I caught her with another dude's d!ck in her mouth.

It's all part of the valuation stage where they prop you up like a god before they devalue you and reduce you to rubble.

When she says that, tell her no, thank you and that she shouldn't talk of things like that again.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
2,638
I'm a little worried for you to be honest. Your girlfriend is fattening you up like castle before sacrificing you at the altar of heartbreak.

Protect your heart and don't pay any attention to what she says or her attempts to blow up your ego. It's all one big manipulation game to her.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,703
Reaction score
8,652
Age
47
Sorry but that's bullsh!t. My ex told me that. A few months later, I caught her with another dude's d!ck in her mouth.

It's all part of the valuation stage where they prop you up like a god before they devalue you and reduce you to rubble.

When she says that, tell her no, thank you and that she shouldn't talk of things like that again.
I agree 100%.

Keep your ears closed and your eyes open. That is how you can easily judge a woman's interest.

I have been "the one" numerous times. I think the best thing to do when that happens is not put yourself on the bulletproof pedestal and continue moving forward, cautiously of course.

I have learned over time that when I do not have expectations, I can only be impressed and never let down. Dont let something coming from a womans mouth set you up for failure later down the road. Just when a woman thinks she "has you" is when things start to go downhill at a rapid pace if you allow it.
 

Von

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2,220
Reaction score
1,234
Age
35
Persian girls are clingy and needy.... but they sure do provide alot.

Heck every guy I know that dated a Persian chick (virgin or not) including me... we all have the same stories lol.

Every girl is ''different'' but in our case generalisation seemed to be a norm.

They will do everything to please you, show you good times, take care of you etc... I would even say loyal (high score theory).

However, Narcissist she told you it was time to pop her cherry... for the rest only time and frame will tell
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
Don't mean to toss cold water on you but.... all this really means is that in the MOMENT, she loves you. Women can and will change on a dime going in whatever directions their emotions take them.
I believe this pretty firmly. My ex could tell me things like "I will show you every day how much I love you" and then act indifferent only days later. Some of the best advice I have read is that whatever a woman says is for that moment only. Women are emotional creatures and say stuff that they feel at that moment.

I don't think there are any words that express how much interest a woman has. It is in her actions... When her actions change, it is time to change things up. You have to always be gauging her interest.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
this is actually somewhat paternalistic.

It's a lot worse than just "in the moment honest feeling," it's a deeply calculated manipulative ploy, fraud, I.e. the Game. If a guy lies to his woman to get sex then bangs other women on the side no one is saying "well he meant what he said in the moment"
Yup! And most guys (including myself at the time) eat it up and hold onto that... sigh...
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
51
Last night my girlfriend told me she wishes that I took her virginity and that she thinks I am the "one."

If a girl ever tells you that she wishes you took her virginity, she is highly interested in you.

If a girl ever tells you she thinks you are the "one" she is highly interested in you.

Do not let it get to your head though. A relationship takes maintenance. Don't become complicit. Remain being the man that made her say these things to you. That is the trick. A relationship requires a constant upkeep of yourself, you have to remain the prize. :)
A girl who is playing you will tellyou the same thing to keep you on the hook.

Remember their actions mean more than their words.
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,055
Reaction score
5,237
Age
50
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
I believe there is some truth to the OP's post but it should be taken with a grain of salt. When she says those things, what she could be saying is that "you are in a good position with me right now as things are". But she could also be implementing a sh|t test, to see if you will de-frame after hearing those words, as 98% of the schmucks in her past have done. Never drop frame, ever!! That applies no matter if you are with a woman two weeks, or married 10 years. There will alway be some frame required if you want the best chance possible of hanging on to her.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
51
I believe there is some truth to the OP's post but it should be taken with a grain of salt. When she says those things, what she could be saying is that "you are in a good position with me right now as things are". But she could also be implementing a sh|t test, to see if you will de-frame after hearing those words, as 98% of the schmucks in her past have done. Never drop frame, ever!! That applies no matter if you are with a woman two weeks, or married 10 years. There will alway be some frame required if you want the best chance possible of hanging on to her.
True. He was in good standing the moment she said the words. But if OP lets his guard down her interest will also go down. If the girl is also manipulating him, she could already be implementing a schitt test and getting ready to put the screws to him.

I had an ex like this. We could have one of the most beautiful nights together. She would gush with compliments and tell me how wonderful I was. Have sechs and everything. The next day she would be furious withe and not tell me why. Only for me to learn it was all a game for her to attempt to yank my emotions around. Bring me to an emotional high just to crap on me the next day. It was just a game. She got dumped and nexted.

OP be on guard for schitt tests. Dont let your guard down
 

wonderer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2014
Messages
253
Reaction score
36
Can someone list some actions which show that a woman is interested in you?
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,696
Reaction score
7,734
Location
USA, Louisiana
I believe this pretty firmly. My ex could tell me things like "I will show you every day how much I love you" and then act indifferent only days later. Some of the best advice I have read is that whatever a woman says is for that moment only. Women are emotional creatures and say stuff that they feel at that moment.

I don't think there are any words that express how much interest a woman has. It is in her actions... When her actions change, it is time to change things up. You have to always be gauging her interest.
Women are not like men, they are not loyal, and they make emotional decisions without reasoning anything out. Whatever she feels, happens... as the estrogen drops she does become more rational but this doesn't happen until she hits the wall, it's a lot easier dating women in the 40s as long as they haven't let themselves go, but they still play games....

One day she will say I love you with all her heart, and the next she will say she hates your guts.... both statements are true. The bad news is that they are fickle as fvck and can drive you crazy if you try to rationalize their behavior. The good news is that you can ALWAYS turn things around with any women if you know how to push her emotional buttons.... If she hates you... so what... her hating you is a good thing because at some level she cares about you.

About the only thing you can't work with is if she doesn't give a fvck about you... if you are invisible then you are nothing to her. Back in the day (the late 80s and early 90s) when I would go to clubs I would adopt an attitude when I was trying to pick up girls, that she was either going to like me, or I was going to fvcking burn the bridge down and make her hate me. I always did this and sometimes, maybe 1/4 of the time I could turn things around with a chick that rejected me. The key is engaging her emotions. Now you can't say the things I did to women now that I did then, you would just get tossed out of clubs, and there are just too many white knight manginas that will rush to the defense of women.

I don't club anymore, but I do go to parties, and I have to say that most 20-something year old dudes I observe do not have a clue about women. They show up in scraggly @ss beards, wearing clothes that doesn't fit them, shoes that looks like they've had since HS, with god awful posture and they treat women like something they should be afraid of and worship... like they are goddesses. It's godd@mn hilarious. They are so focused on themselves that aren't paying any attention to what is going on around them. Feminism has totally screwed up this generation of men... it's really sad.
 

narcissist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2013
Messages
1,394
Reaction score
502
Location
New York, NY
This is a lot to digest. On the one hand I cannot help but think that at the time when she said it, with tears rolling down her face, she meant it. To think that she was perhaps lying or manipulating me, I would have to simply break up with her, because I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who I thought was trying to manipulate me with every word she said.

With that being said, I am not assuming that she will always feel like this. That would be dumb. I simply think that it is a display of high interest at the time when she said it.

We all know that interest fluctuates and even when we gauge a women's behaviour based on their actions, which I do agree is the best way to gauge, these displays of interest can change. Of course. This is without question. This is DJ101. Interest level wanes, and don't let signs of high interest level get to your head. That was kind of the point of my original post.

But I would still be hard pressed to deny that a girl wishing you took her virginity and that you are the one is somehow not a sign of high interest.

The only other option is that it is a lie, or manipulation, and I simply cant see myself believing that, as then I would have to merely end the relationship.


She is definitely being truthful. However, it is simply in the moment. It is a temporally contained truth. That is the most important distinction. You have to realize that this feeling is contained in the moment and will not last forever and that you still have to be a boss, and cannot become complicit.

So that was essentially what I was trying to say. Signs of high interest level can get to your head. Don't let them, because if they get to your head, then her interest will wane and decrease. It's kind of a paradox.
 

fastlife

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 3, 2015
Messages
1,132
Reaction score
2,164
Word of caution: I literally have pages and pages from my BPDex, expressing how wonderful I am, with detailed accounts of all my wonderful qualities and of how glad she is to have met someone like me. There's even a note, not even a whole month from when I became the worst, most despicable person ever, detailing the beautiful future we'd share together.

I took all of her words at face value, which caused me a tremendous amount of pain & cognitive dissonance later. And why wouldn't I? I didn't know how to value myself without external props to my ego. I didn't know how to love myself. She told me everything I so desperately wanted to hear, affirmations I wasn't able to give myself.

But what if you had a genuine sense of your own value? Would you care what she thought of you, good or bad, if you knew that you had real, irreducible value? Would you allow her to pedestalize you? Would you reaffirm her (probably) unrealistic expectations of the kind of person you are?

These days, I insist that all of my relationships are grounded in reality. I'd laugh something like that off and say something like, "Silly little girl" or a flat, "That's sweet." Or if she went too overboard, "No, I'm just a regular dude," accompanied by a smirk. And by doing so, I'm 1.) Reinforcing my own value in her mind, since these are the reactions of a guy who's heard this type of thing from other girls and 2.) It forces her to find real, tangible ways to show me how much she values me. They're called 'sweet nothings' for a reason.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,032
Reaction score
1,677
Last night my girlfriend told me she wishes that I took her virginity and that she thinks I am the "one."

If a girl ever tells you that she wishes you took her virginity, she is highly interested in you.

If a girl ever tells you she thinks you are the "one" she is highly interested in you.
Until a famous Hollywood Director discovers her and wants her to play the lead female role in his next movie so she can become famous and make millions.

Come on bro, high interest only means high interest for that hour. Anything better, sexier, smarter comes along, you will mean nothing.


Do not let it get to your head though. A relationship takes maintenance. Don't become complicit. Remain being the man that made her say these things to you. That is the trick. A relationship requires a constant upkeep of yourself, you have to remain the prize. :)
Agree with 50% of this statement. You shouldnt stay relaxed and should be constantly improving.

But a relationship shouldn't take maintenance. Relationships should be fun, outgoing, sexy. You work all day and get your ass kicked, who wants to come home and work more at something that is supposed to be sexy?

"You are the prize" thinking doesn't work either. You can be most expensive prize in the world, but if no one wants it, what does it matter? I think it's more respect yourself and don't take any nonsense. :)
 
Top