One bizarre evening

[Monsieur]

My friends and I like to drink from time to time. It’s not an everyday occurrence- but, it happens every week or so. This doesn’t sound to extraordinary, right? Well, every time we get drunk, I usually end up talking to a certain girl for long periods of time. In fact, I usually just peel off and talk to her (once for four hours…).

She’s a friend of mine, who I’ve had a pretty strong thing for for almost two years now. We’ve probably only become close within the last few months. Usually when I dial under the influence, she talks to me about relationships (my interests, etc.), however I never revealed it that she was one that I had particular interest in. A couple nights ago, however, my friend decided that it was about time to tell her.

I wasn’t feeling it. She has a boyfriend and seems happy enough. It’s sort of a thing of mine not to interfere in someone’s life when all is going fine and dandy. But, my buddy was persistent. He busted out a paintball gun while I was talking to her, and told me that I was going to tell her then and there.

And so, I buckled. After keeping it from her for a very long time, I spilled the beans (Or, rather, I made her guess it). We had a short conversation afterwards. Apparently, she’s also had a thing for me for a long time. In fact, she even said “If I ever broke up with *current boyfriend,* don’t go thinking you don’t have a chance with me.” Later that evening, she left me a text message saying “You’re a sweet heart :]”, which I didn’t receive until the next morning.

Now, I’m not here to ***** about what I should have done and what could have been if I’d’ve had the balls to just ask her out before. Instead, I’m wondering this:

1)What should I do with this information?
2)Do you think I’ll be able to continue being friends with her?
3)Am I in for a good ass beating from *girl’s boyfriend?*

Nevertheless, I’m happy that I got it off my chest. I just don’t know where this is going now…

 

[Raptafairious]

In a way, you set yourself up as bait. Now she know that you admitted that you liked her, so she basically has all the power. She can do anything to her likings. From leaving her current relationship to getting her man to beat you up, anything can happen.

In my opinion, I wouldn't go after her. She already has a man, and there are plenty of other girls, but like most of us are, I'm guessing your persistent. No one can ridicule a man for liking any kind of girl. Especially in your situation. Things are looking good! So go for it! Keep on your toes though, anything can happen. Be ready, because I don't think her boyfriend wouldn't be amused when someone was talking to their woman for four hours.

Anyways, this is good information. She said that she's interested, its up to you if you want to expand on it. Be more open about both of your attraction towards each other, drop hints, and show her what she could have. Either that, or you can still be regular friends. You're going to have to show that you just want to stay friends though. My bet is that shes going to be more shy and quiet around you the next time you see each other, because she admitted her feelings towards you. So if you want to stay friends, you got to show her.

Again with the boyfriend, just be cautious. I remember I used to talk to my friends girl on the phone at work, and my friend used to work with me... Then things got heretical. Real heretical. Lets just say now, alot of things have been different after that situation. From the friendship me and my friend had, to what everyone else thought of me.

Otherwise, the decision is yours! No matter what, its a win/win situation, apart from the boyfriend from finding out. :nervous:

 

[Monsieur]

I don't think I have to worry to much about the boyfriend. At least, I'm not to sure whether or not she's going to tell him that little tidbit. I normally wouldn't have said anything like this... I'm not the type to drop the "I like you bomb" in most situations. My judgement was lapsed.

I'm obviously trying to make sure things are going normally. I'll still probably end up calling under the influence (unless I get a designated dialer!), though. In the meantime, I suppose I'll just try to hang out with her and a buddy and try to make sure things are stable... we haven't spoken in person or on the phone since this particular conversation. Only a brief email-based conversation or two.

After telling her, I told her I felt guilty for having feelings, that I don't aim to break her relationship up, and that I don't want it to negatively affect things the way they are between us. She told me not to worry about it, she didn't find it creepy, and all that rap. I suppose that is a positive sign, yes?

I'm not in a real tough situation with the boyfriend. He's NOT a friend of mine, or anything like that, so I don't have to worry about being labeled as a backstabber. He is, however, 1.5x my size. I have martial arts training, and I'm pretty sure I could hold my own... but still, wouldn't want to risk it.

I think I'm going to take the following approach:
-Don't be pathetic and "wait it out." It could take who knows how long, and be a big useless venture that does FAR more harm than good.
-Continue life as normal; pick up on chicks, and keep all my options open.
-If a chance is to come up, take it. Other than that, though, leave it all be.

Think that should be good enough?