On the hook! Don’t let her off.

[RobNeb]

Morning everyone,
I’m working on a true gem of a new gal, and after the initial first date this last Friday I need some help on not letting this amazing woman off the hook. The date was really good. Went to a slick Bistro in her area that we both agreed on just drinks and some live music outside on the patio. Great initial greeting and hugs, two drinks later we had great conversation and no awkwardness and we then went for a casual stroll and the convo was good and we found the opportunity to sit on a park bench and when the opportunity for a kiss came I took advantage and it was smooth and seemed received well. Some more convo and walked her to her car and another nice kiss and wished her well. An excellent first date I thought and she thanked me on a text later saying that was a fantastic date.

Some back story… we’ve been chatting on text and then talking on the phone for close to two weeks and she had been out of town or we would have done the date earlier. We then chatted a little the next day about the date and she said she had a great time but the kiss was a little awkward and she admitted that she hadn’t been on a real date in a long time and probably contributed to her feeling awkward, But she was also interested in a next date and was sincere since we’ve continued to chat just like before the first meeting.

I’m very interested in her and want to keep this going but have not asked her out yet for date two but it’s implied we’re headed that way and need some advice as I don’t want to lose her. I appreciate any help and will take it well.

- Rob

 

[The Duke]

I'm glad you are excited and have a solid prospect.

Here's how guys screw these things up:

1. Care too much.
2. Thinks she is "the one" and been on one date.
3. Too excited.
4. Think too much.
5. Worried about losing her.

Pull back on the reins a little bit and you'll be fine.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You've been on a single date. She should be thinking that about YOU not the other way around.

This woman is not special, you simply are blinded by the spotlight shining on the pedestal you have put her on which is too high up and too bright for you to see clearly.

The way you are going to "lose her" is thinking exactly the way you are right now, ironically.

 

[RobNeb]

Thanks guys. I appreciate what you said and definitely will work on. Curious what you think would be the appropriate time to ask her out again? I know it’s Monday, so thinking this thru and any help would be appreciate.

 

[Gamisch]

OP, may I ask you; if you ever felt like this about a woman before , what did you do that lost her?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Have a fun, unusual, quirky date that's not over the top. You'll prob have to research and rack your brain, but as long as it's not too weird or too expensive/time consuming. Picnic with wine (in thermoses), activity date, art exhibit, etc. Keep it somewhat short and casual.

The other issue is a lack of sexual tension. Do a little light sexual flirtation (use innuendos) just to get the ball rolling a little bit. This girl likes you, but she's lacking on vagina tingles.

 

[RobNeb]

OP, may I ask you; if you ever felt like this about a woman before , what did you do that lost her?

Good question. I think I over thought it and blew it on texting Her too much and caring. Thought I learned from that. Obviously need a change in direction or it’s gonna happen for sure.

 

[RobNeb]

Have a fun, unusual, quirky date that's not over the top. You'll prob have to research and rack your brain, but as long as it's not too weird or too expensive/time consuming. Picnic with wine (in thermoses), activity date, art exhibit, etc. Keep it somewhat short and casual.

The other issue is a lack of sexual tension. Do a little light sexual flirtation (use innuendos) just to get the ball rolling a little bit. This girl likes you, but she's lacking on vagina tingles.

Thanks. I was thinking that absolutely on the next date and already have some ideas that are similar to what you said. And there is good sexual tension already as we’ve deep dived and exchanged personal pics already. I think there’s an anticipation issue going on possibly and I’m acting very chill but still have fun talking for-play and other things.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

When I think I’m gonna fall for a woman I just stop texting or caring or calling and if they don’t call or text I just leave it and move on.

For instance, if I send a text message and she doesn’t respond the same night and responds tomorrow, ignore her response and if she calls, I just ignore the call and then I call her at a time that I think it’s best for me. You always got have the upper hand.

Always let them chase you and don’t feel guilty.

This girl that you feel is so magical could easily turn out to be a pain when she realizes you really want her.

 

[RobNeb]

When I think I’m gonna fall for a woman I just stop texting or caring or calling and if they don’t call or text I just leave it and move on.

For instance, if I send a text message and she doesn’t respond the same night and responds tomorrow, ignore her response and if she calls, I just ignore the call and then I call her at a time that I think it’s best for me. You always got have the upper hand.

Always let them chase you and don’t feel guilty.

This girl that you feel is so magical could easily turn out to be a pain when she realizes you really want her.

Thanks man! I kinda forgot that golden rule. Which has definitely worked before? One of the problems with this girl is she enjoys all the texting and responds all the time which is not usual for a single gal. She’s also not been single that long. Any thoughts? I appreciate the feed back.

 

[Stoic]

Texting/calls should be used overwhelmingly just to get her excited about the next meet.

 

[RobNeb]

"Oh yeah? That means you need to kiss me more until the awkwardness goes away" Then proceed you kiss her even more deeply.

"Oh yeah? That means you need to kiss me more until the awkwardness goes away" Then proceed you kiss her even more deeply.

Given the chance I’m gonna kiss her again and see what happens. She wasn’t the best kisser to start with and many aren’.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Thanks guys. I appreciate what you said and definitely will work on. Curious what you think would be the appropriate time to ask her out again? I know it’s Monday, so thinking this thru and any help would be appreciate.

When did you ask her out the 1st time? Ask her out again exactly one week later, at the same time. It worked the 1st time

Im kind of joking but why not. Dont overthink this stuff bro.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks guys. I appreciate what you said and definitely will work on. Curious what you think would be the appropriate time to ask her out again? I know it’s Monday, so thinking this thru and any help would be appreciate.

Has she texted you at all since then without you initiating?

 

[RobNeb]

Has she texted you at all since then without you initiating?

Yeah, she’s been chatting pretty much the same and we’re going out Sunday.

 

[RobNeb]

Has she texted you at all since then without you initiating?

And yes, she texted me this morning at 6:30a to say good morning before me.

 

[RobNeb]

When did you ask her out the 1st time? Ask her out again exactly one week later, at the same time. It worked the 1st time

Im kind of joking but why not. Dont overthink this stuff bro.

Already asked her out today and we’re going out Sunday for something very casual like a movies or Star gazing at a spot I know.

 

[RobNeb]

If it were me I would wait until she initiates. But I know thats hard for most guys.
If you must ask her back out but be warned if she goes flaky you have clmpletely lost the tension in this.

I agree I lost the tension somewhat but she’s still chatting me up like before and I secured a second date on Sunday.

 

[RobNeb]

OP you are in a normal situation. Dont push it after date 1.
You almost have to get a feeling that she is persuing you. Gotta back off and just be cool.
Let her initiate seeing you. Not this anxiety of not seeing her again.

I agree and have chilled my roll. Even cut off the chatting early last night and went to bed. Got an early text from her this morning so that works!

 

[MtmVaott]

Fact is you have by far not enough data to gauge who she is for real. It's perfectly possible to develop feelings fast for s.o. who you would have only considered for casual sex if you'd witnessed enough data to draw conclusions right from the start.
And no, it's by far not enough to know that e.g. you both grew up in a small town or you are both orphans since young age.
You need both facts and behaviour observation, and a lot of it, to make definite conclusions on her values and attitudes.