On Maturity...

[BeDJ]

I have realized that I am not as responsible as I should be for my age. I don't necessarily take some of the consequences for my actions at face value. I am living for today too often and approach it carelessly. Maybe I need a life changing experience, like having a kid, to change my approach at life. I am having way too much fun for my own good.

Older gentlemen of SoSuave,

How did you approach maturity and focused away from your present self to your future self?

 

[Insouciant]

I had an ego-destroying moment.

My heart was broken by the girl that I thought was "the one". Needless to say, even though I had "red pill knowledge", I haven't fully internalized it yet by that point. Even though I thought I had.

My ego died long enough where I was able to take a step back and address all my inner demons, insecurities, etc. It stayed dead long enough that I was able to finally reconstruct a new framework of reality that was more in tune with what the universe truly was instead of how I wanted/wished it should be.

I changed everything after that. Moved to a new apartment. Changed jobs. It was the most insecure, uncomfortable, and scary 1 and a half years of my life.

But I was able to persevere through it, and not only that, thrive afterwards.

Internally, I'm a different man than I was two years ago. But at the same time, I'm more me than I ever have been. Hope that makes sense.

 

[zekko]

I just got bored with screwing around and not getting anything accomplished. It was one of those epiphay moments - I was sitting around drinking with a bunch of friends doing nothing and I just suddenly thought to myself "What the hell am I doing?". So I got up and left.

I also came to the point where I knew it was time to grow up. I know a lot of PUA theory looks down on that phrase "time to grow up", but it was true.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear BeDJ,
Oh dear I am still waiting,perhaps next year,LOL.

 

[Alvafe]

I would more ask for clarification on what you mean then anything.

what you would consider be more mature? having less fun? having a more serious take on life? what?

for me is more I take my problems head on, if I make a mistake I fix it, I don't lie about who I am or what i'm doing, i'm not ashamed of what I do, I like to watch animes sometimes, I like to play video games, I watch cartoons if I like then, same with watching films or reading books, and I consider me mature enough to not make myself look like a fool, and take any challenge head on without fear, I just go for the fight, I don't care if people thinks i'm childish or if with 30 I should be married or with a family I have my friend and my family (parents, cousins), I do what I want when I want the way I want, and don't need anyone telling me what I should do, can ask for advice here and there because we don't know everything.

so again I ask what you consider be more mature means?

 

[Outlaw_]

OP, you're 26 bro. Enjoy yourself while you are enjoying yourself. As some others have said, you will get tired of fvcking off & pissing your life away. If not, then carry on. But making yourself wrong for enjoying yourself seems like a bit of a glutton for punishment.

 

[zekko]

Regarding a definition for maturity, I think that as long as you are being responsible for yourself, what more can people really ask of you? You can always become a humanitarian, but that's a different subject. I'm certan that being responsible means that you have to give up having fun ever. But maybe it means that you should have the self discipline to put pleasure aside at certain times when it is more beneficial for you to put in some work.

Bottom line is, you don't want to be a deadbeat. Of course, I know many in the manosphere have no problem with the idea of being a drain on society, because soceity is evil, feminest, etc. But to me, I want to be independent, and I don't want to be a parasite, sucking off of the hind tit of the government or others.

 

[Colossus]

Bottom line is, you don't want to be a deadbeat. Of course, I know many in the manosphere have no problem with the idea of being a drain on society, because society is evil, feminist, etc. But to me, I want to be independent, and I don't want to be a parasite, sucking off of the hind tit of the government or others.

I agree.

I think maturity is a nonspecific term, but in "man" terms it means not being a punk kid anymore, taking ownership of your life, and doing something productive.

To me that means not going out getting hammered every weekend, having a career and not just a job, paying my debts, and preparing for the future. Save not spend, etc. A man can provide EVERYTHING for himself, and a man prepares. He doesn't wait until sh!t hits the fan to act. A man can endure temporary discomfort for long-term gain.

26 isn't that old and you still have a few "irresponsible" years left, but everyone hits it at a different time.

 

[BeDJ]

Thank you so much for the replies, everyone.

I have developed an extremely extroverted personality as of late. I have been going out almost everyday and I can't seem to say "no" to invites. This results in loss of productivity and 'happiness' the next morning. Sometimes I feel like I have to ride out the last few years of my 20's, but at the same time, it's critical I use these prime years to set myself up for my 30's and essentially, my life. Perhaps what I mean by maturity is moderation?

Maybe I'm so stupidly extroverted that I can't enjoy myself alone. Am I not confident to live in this world alone? Is maturity the moment you realize that you don't need anyone to make yourself happy?


Having a child is an example I used because it would force me to make decisions that would be best for my family (hopefully.) This would mean being much more reserved and conservative with my time and resources. It would be a life changing event where I must be much more responsible because I am no longer living for myself, but for another being as well. It doesn't have to do much with social norms, as much as it would be a swift kick on the butt to 'grow up.'

 

[Triumph2]

Thank you so much for the replies, everyone.

I have developed an extremely extroverted personality as of late. I have been going out almost everyday and I can't seem to say "no" to invites. This results in loss of productivity and 'happiness' the next morning. Sometimes I feel like I have to ride out the last few years of my 20's, but at the same time, it's critical I use these prime years to set myself up for my 30's and essentially, my life. Perhaps what I mean by maturity is moderation?

Maybe I'm so stupidly extroverted that I can't enjoy myself alone. Am I not confident to live in this world alone? Is maturity the moment you realize that you don't need anyone to make yourself happy?


Having a child is an example I used because it would force me to make decisions that would be best for my family (hopefully.) This would mean being much more reserved and conservative with my time and resources. It would be a life changing event where I must be much more responsible because I am no longer living for myself, but for another being as well. It doesn't have to do much with social norms, as much as it would be a swift kick on the butt to 'grow up.'

IMO being maturity is caring about others more then yourself, I don't think having a child would force you to grow up or be happier for that matter but it is one if not the reason we exist .

 

[BeDJ]

IMO being maturity is caring about others more then yourself, I don't think having a child would force you to grow up or be happier for that matter but it is one if not the reason we exist .

I definitely agree with you. In the past year I was pretty selfish and not compassionate. I didn't quite make me happy at all. My grandfather passed away recently and nearly 200 people showed up to his funeral. He was an active part in the community and was passionate about it. He wasn't an assho|e who played mind games, he was generally interested in people and building a social network. That's what I think a lot of members have yet to learn. You have so much to offer to the world and it's very rewarding when your contributions have a positive impact on another person's life.

 

[sodbuster]

I'd say you are maturing right now. You realize that going out all the time isn't going to get you where you want to be. that you aren't as productive after a night out. Just make the change yourself now. There is no age, and few external circumstances that make you "mature", it's what you do to get your knowing and doing pointed the same direction that will mature you.

Figure out what YOU want, then go for it.

 

[GotED?]

I meet plenty of 'immature' women at all ages, and it really makes me disappointed and sad that human race as a whole are going down the drain slowly as people are self centered, focus on instant gratification, lack discipline, and creating chaos emotionally.

So by those experiences, maturity would be when one:

* learned to take responsibility for own action
* able to accept mistake and apologize quickly
* capable of empathy - feeling what others are going through
* acquired a sense of patience and self discipline
* capable of making decisions and standing behind it
* have a sense of care and welfare for things other than yourself

Maturity spans into many categories - emotional, mental, spiritual

Some women have more than others, as well as men.

Exodus