Older Men Who Give It All To The Wife

[Glassguy]

@Spaz has made some very reasonable remarks. Its honest and that is how life works. Most married guys that I know that are miserable dont have the balls to cause some turmoil now and then. In return, they get ran over. Their lives are merely a living hell because they want to always do what makes the wife happy.

How many times have you heard "Happy wife....happy life". WRONG! It should be "Happy wife all the time means you lost your balls and will to be a LEADER".


Now let me put my spin on this for all of those guys on this forum who live in lala land and think they are waiting for Ms Perfect to come along:

This is another reason that I have a rotation and spin plates in that rotation.

Think about it. When ONE woman has you locked down (LTR, Engagement, Marriage) she will start treating you differently. She will do this if you allow the frame to shift to her paradigm because you want everything to always be hunky dory and never rock the boat. The reason you got into the LTR-Engagement-Marriage in the first place was because "You didnt want to LOSE her (aka scarcity mindset). That alone will fester and build into a weak frame, you will start getting disrespected and all of a sudden you are 15 years in to a marriage that is NOTHING like the engagement or honeymoon phase. You are now successful, yet miserable and trapped. Divorce means losing half of your assets so you continue to hang on and TRY to make things better. Only the more you try to make things better, the WORSE they become because she has NO respect for you and your VALUE is negative in her eyes. If your SMV was on the banking market they would have foreclosed and repo'd it years ago.

Now follow me.......this is where it gets fun:

Meanwhile, I am over here at 41 spinning 3-4 regular plates in my rotation. They all want to see me, they all want MORE of me. I dont hide the fact that I am seeing other people but I dont rub it in their face either. The same door they entered is the same door they can leave through and they need no explanation to do so. I also need no explanation to ghost them for something they did disrespectfully to me either.

So I have currently 3 steady plates and one in waiting (as in boning all 3 and one is there when I make the call). I do not have a scaricity mindset and I do not show any ONE of them too much attention. Actually none of them really get my non sexual attention, they all get just a tiny tiny amount of validation and that is only done with a twist.

So they chase it. They chase that validation from me because its so d@mn hard to get. My validation is VALUABLE because its RARE. They chase and chase and treat me great all along the way because they just know they wont get my non sexual attention and validation if they do something stupid.

Do you get it yet? Or are you guys still back there in lala land fantasizing about that ONE chick that you have been chasing for weeks, months or even years to persuade into going out with you just once so that you can be a try hard and sell yourself so freaking hard on a date that the waitress can smell it? The $120 check comes out, she gets a phone call and has to leave the date early. But thanks for the dinner beta male!

Meanwhile I am over here doing a $25 drink tab on date one, date 2 might be another $25 drink tab IF she didnt come over to make dinner and watch a movie instead. There will not be a $25 drink tab date 3 because she is either coming over or POOF! I have an open spot in the rotation for chick #4 who is on the outside looking in saying "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play......TODAY".

So beta male goes home from his empty $120 dinner date to jerk off into a crusty sock, log on SSuave and tell everyone how mean and malicious women are, how they take advantage of him for free dinners and get his non sexual attention.......

Now comes the really fun part..........

I am either taking drinks chick home to smash OR if she pulls some shyte I will text one of the other 2 in my rotation and tell them to come over. Someone is coming over. There will be smashing, not jerking off in a sock.

Wash rinse repeat. I will be getting laid 2-3 times per week (or more depending on my free time) with the 2-3 different women in my rotation.

Meanwhile the guy that is miserably married and BEGGING his disgusting and disrespectful wife of 15 years to knock a piece off will get some half @ssed missionary that will last 5 minutes before she asks "are you about to c+m yet"........

I will be having crazy teenage sex with these chicks who will literally let me do whatever they want to them and then 20 minutes later they will be asking if I am ready for round 2.

True talk fellas. Honesty. If you are pushing for a LTR and marriage then you are in for a rude awakening. I have been there, done that. No plans to do it again.

 

[Sunnypoo]

You're not factored in marriages whereby the wife's happy but hubby's been brainwashed.

It works like this, 1st they control ur mind (how you view the world), 2nd ur soul (love) and last they control ur balls - this is when she loses all respect, admiration and love.

Only thing left in her is the memory of what you were once was and the promise you held.

They are the couples I know from my close circle of friends. I have known these people for 25+ yrs as couples, and as I stated about half failed or are failing.

 

[Spaz]

They are the couples I know from my close circle of friends. I have known these people for 25+ yrs as couples, and as I stated about half failed or are failing.

I think I was erroneous in my previous estimation.

It's perhaps about 97% of men in my social circle that's not in a happy marriage.

Of the 97%, perhaps 50% are openly unhappy whilst the other 50% are desperately trying to portray that their marriages are perfect.

And I'm sampling this from Asian men with Asian wife's.

If the sample is focused on Europeans around the ages of 40 - 60 then it gets worse.

 

[Sunnypoo]

I think I was erroneous in my previous estimation.

It's perhaps about 97% of men in my social circle that's not in a happy marriage.

Of the 97%, perhaps 50% are openly unhappy whilst the other 50% are desperately trying to portray that their marriages are perfect.

And I'm sampling this from Asian men with Asian wife's.

If the sample is focused on Europeans around the ages of 40 - 60 then it gets worse.

Your sampling evidently doesn't include my circle.

 

[lamath]

Your sampling evidently doesn't include my circle.

Tbh 50% seems very high, id say 95% is very low.

 

[Spaz]

Tbh 50% seems very high, id say 95% is very low.

99% then ?

 

[lamath]

99% then ?

Lolll seems low.

But obv some marriage look better from the outaide than what it realy is.

 

[glass half full]

I still truly believe that women are a smash and dash proposition.
A man would have to be the absolute best available (think handsome NFL linebacker)...6 feet plus, 225-245 lb. of pure steroid induced muscle w.sub 10% body fat. And an unbelievable income. Name on TV every week. And after the career, coaching/sportscasting with enough charisma to be seen by people channel surfing (think Terry Bradshaw of Howie Long, as examples). These are guys you just can't miss. Always on TV somewhere. And after sportscasting dries up, make commercials. Think for example, Johnny Bench, or Mike Ditka. Hypergamy in real life.

 

[glass half full]

With these credos, a man would have to fvck things up really bad to get treated like chit by the woman.
Like getting beat up for years to the point they can't hide it with makeup any more.
For the right man, a woman will endure terrible treatment. I know a few women like this from the past.

 

[Spaz]

With these credos, a man would have to fvck things up really bad to get treated like chit by the woman.
Like getting beat up for years to the point they can't hide it with makeup any more.
For the right man, a woman will endure terrible treatment. I know a few women like this from the past.

You can't be this naive...

 

[glass half full]

You can't be this naive...

I wouldn't call it naive, Spaz.

I'd call it 54 years of life in America as a man.

Got this outlook through experiencing life. Yes it can be good, and at times ugly.

But it is what it is. Some of the worse things I experienced when I was around your age.

We didn't have excellent place to go like this site, to learn about women. Some of us had no male guidance, nor a father who would say anything, because of feminist mom.

I sense a very high self pride/ego about you, Spaz. Good luck, you're gonna need it. Just be careful it doesn't get the best of you.

It got the best of me when I was 31. Not gonna explain, too painful.

I don't have all the answers, nor do you. That's why we're here (I assume, anyway, on your part.)

Be humble, keep ears open and learn.

 

[Spaz]

I wouldn't call it naive, Spaz.

I'd call it 54 years of life in America as a man.

Got this outlook through experiencing life. Yes it can be good, and at times ugly.

But it is what it is. Some of the worse things I experienced when I was around your age.

We didn't have excellent place to go like this site, to learn about women. Some of us had no male guidance, nor a father who would say anything, because of feminist mom.

I sense a very high self pride/ego about you, Spaz. Good luck, you're gonna need it. Just be careful it doesn't get the best of you.

It got the best of me when I was 31. Not gonna explain, too painful.

I don't have all the answers, nor do you. That's why we're here (I assume, anyway, on your part.)

Be humble, keep ears open and learn.

2 types of men are born from the ordeals that life inextricably thrust upon all men....perhaps that's why we both view things and respond differently.

One is humbled by it, the fall too great a burden as you have hinted; that has befallen you in the past.

Another takes pride in it, the ordeal being a lesson, each loss, fall, pain, suffering etc brings me closer to my goals.

Such a man will face many more ordeals in life and I knowingly embrace it all.

Ur previous post abt a man having all material wealth coupled with high social status equates to being highly successful with women is highly naive, more so for one who thinks that being 54 and in America has automatically been bestowed with wisdom.

 

[glass half full]

Whatever.

 

[highSpeed]

I think I was erroneous in my previous estimation.

It's perhaps about 97% of men in my social circle that's not in a happy marriage.

Of the 97%, perhaps 50% are openly unhappy whilst the other 50% are desperately trying to portray that their marriages are perfect.

And I'm sampling this from Asian men with Asian wife's.

If the sample is focused on Europeans around the ages of 40 - 60 then it gets worse.

Like some of the others have said, try 99%, seriously. When you can get the vast, vast majority of guys who are married to have some frank discussions, they'll tell you they are and probably have been unhappy in their marriages since shortly after they got married. It gets real in a hurry for a man once they get married. And if you add in kids? It's over for him. Gone is the doting, the attention, most of the sex, most of the respect, all because of those one or two acts.

I'm telling you, you can be a great guy, have you sh*t together and once you do those one or two things, all that doesn't matter much. Why, why you ask? Because she's got you and she knows it. You know, I've finally learned my lesson about modern marriage and family, albeit a little late, it's fairly worthless.

As a guy, your wife, your family, your resources can all be taken at a moment's notice. You can be treated like a pariah and pushed out the door, only to be replaced shortly thereafter and the final insult/cherry on top is that you have to still be on the hook for paying for it all. Her instagram life with her new man, paraded around as a wonderful stepfather and how unworthy that you are, all while you are paying for it.

I could have only wished that my father could have tutored me on hypergamy, to clue me in early on to the game, so I could be doing and living life more to the fullest. Right now, I should be having more fun than an adult male should be allowed to have. The reality? I'm over a barrel with a harpy, and my girls will end up quite a bit like her, so it's her times 3 that will be coming at me in future years. I screwed up royally, I literally snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

 

[highSpeed]

I get what you're saying. There are certain men that a woman will fight to keep, rather than find ways to toss aside. But they have either extremely tight game and frame, and/or celebrity/financial status. Sometimes they are even abusive, verbally or even physically. (I am not endorsing abuse.) But he has to strike the right balance, like you said not treat her like garbage for years on end until she can't take it anymore. In any case, marriage is always like two people placing a loaded gun on the table. It's a matter of who might have the incentive to pick it up and point it at the other.

Women have more incentive to pick that gun up, plain and simple. So it would be like placing a loaded gun on the table that much closer to her at any moment. That you have to go twice as far to get, so your analogy is good just not complete.

 

[Spaz]

Like some of the others have said, try 99%, seriously. When you can get the vast, vast majority of guys who are married to have some frank discussions, they'll tell you they are and probably have been unhappy in their marriages since shortly after they got married. It gets real in a hurry for a man once they get married. And if you add in kids? It's over for him. Gone is the doting, the attention, most of the sex, most of the respect, all because of those one or two acts.

I'm telling you, you can be a great guy, have you sh*t together and once you do those one or two things, all that doesn't matter much. Why, why you ask? Because she's got you and she knows it. You know, I've finally learned my lesson about modern marriage and family, albeit a little late, it's fairly worthless.

As a guy, your wife, your family, your resources can all be taken at a moment's notice. You can be treated like a pariah and pushed out the door, only to be replaced shortly thereafter and the final insult/cherry on top is that you have to still be on the hook for paying for it all. Her instagram life with her new man, paraded around as a wonderful stepfather and how unworthy that you are, all while you are paying for it.

I could have only wished that my father could have tutored me on hypergamy, to clue me in early on to the game, so I could be doing and living life more to the fullest. Right now, I should be having more fun than an adult male should be allowed to have. The reality? I'm over a barrel with a harpy, and my girls will end up quite a bit like her, so it's her times 3 that will be coming at me in future years. I screwed up royally, I literally snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

If I was in ur shoes..

Hypothetically..

Even with my natural and learned skills I highly doubt that I could turn the tables around once my woman lost respect for me - for many many years.

There might be a possibility but it's real slim and an extremely uphill task that would take some extreme measures of which society would frown upon.

I'd rather start over with someone else.

Then hold frame from day 1 and never let go.

 

[highSpeed]

If I was in ur shoes..

Hypothetically..

Even with my natural and learned skills I highly doubt that I could turn the tables around once my woman lost respect for me - for many many years.

There might be a possibility but it's real slim and an extremely uphill task that would take some extreme measures of which society would frown upon.

I'd rather start over with someone else.

Then hold frame from day 1 and never let go.

I refuse to be a part time parent. Either I'm a full time dad or I want literally nothing to do with them. Co-parenting? It's crap, just another fancy SJW term to downplay the importance of a father and glorify the single mom (you go girl!).

If I didn't have kids? I'd have been out the door a few years ago. I don't even care if I had to pay alimony for a few years, it'd be well worth the start over. What I can't stand for is the alienation from my children.

My best bet, I think anyway, is to try and play all the psychological games I can moving forward. Also, I'm working on some stuff to protect myself financially, so I'm not totally exposed. Might take a couple of years to put in place but in the meantime, it's psychological games central for me. If it gets bad enough, I'd consider a piece on the side but I'm willing to give this one more go at getting turned around. It's a power struggle and I'm losing right now but if I can turn the finances thing around so I'm not so exposed, I might have a chance.

My main point was not about me, but more about how miserable I think almost all married men are. Many just won't admit it. If you admit it, you have to do something about it.

 

[Spaz]

I refuse to be a part time parent. Either I'm a full time dad or I want literally nothing to do with them. Co-parenting? It's crap, just another fancy SJW term to downplay the importance of a father and glorify the single mom (you go girl!).

If I didn't have kids? I'd have been out the door a few years ago. I don't even care if I had to pay alimony for a few years, it'd be well worth the start over. What I can't stand for is the alienation from my children.

My best bet, I think anyway, is to try and play all the psychological games I can moving forward. Also, I'm working on some stuff to protect myself financially, so I'm not totally exposed. Might take a couple of years to put in place but in the meantime, it's psychological games central for me. If it gets bad enough, I'd consider a piece on the side but I'm willing to give this one more go at getting turned around. It's a power struggle and I'm losing right now but if I can turn the finances thing around so I'm not so exposed, I might have a chance.

My main point was not about me, but more about how miserable I think almost all married men are. Many just won't admit it. If you admit it, you have to do something about it.

Yes almost all the men I know are miserable after a few years of marriage.

And this was what I ultimately wanted to convey to those reading the forums - to those that dream of marriage.

I purposely mentioned I sampled Asian men whose society reportedly has very low divorce rates.

The popular notion that Western women are scumbag feminist whilst Asians women are "better" is absolutely false.

Women are all the same and all those things you see being done in America is done by Asians only it's done with more guile and finesse that you'd not notice it.

Women subconsciously does it as it's their nature.

 

[btownbuck2012]

When your game/red pill aware I think it becomes easy to project that lifestyle/viewpoint on to others interactions. For example, the dude you described talking to his wife we’d all think what a pathetic loser. But the fact is that most dudes do this kind of stuff all the time, even to women they’re not dating or married to! I too underestimate just how blind most guys are. I mean the level of patheticness that most guys display is truly astounding. It’s unbelievable in fact. Also most guys have no idea how women really are and what sexual abundance feels like (even if it’s incosistent and/or either all or nothing during certain periods of your life - as it has been for me- it’s still a significant paradigm changing experience). To most dudes just getting scraps of attention, no matter how self degrading they have had to act in order to get it, is enough for them to think they’re on top of the world. Long story short-that married guy in your OP is literally living in a different reality than those of us who are woke. Unless you really like the guy, leave him be.

 

[Spaz]

When your game/red pill aware I think it becomes easy to project that lifestyle/viewpoint on to others interactions. For example, the dude you described talking to his wife we’d all think what a pathetic loser. But the fact is that most dudes do this kind of stuff all the time, even to women they’re not dating or married to! I too underestimate just how blind most guys are. I mean the level of patheticness that most guys display is truly astounding. It’s unbelievable in fact. Also most guys have no idea how women really are and what sexual abundance feels like (even if it’s incosistent and/or either all or nothing during certain periods of your life - as it has been for me- it’s still a significant paradigm changing experience). To most dudes just getting scraps of attention, no matter how self degrading they have had to act in order to get it, is enough for them to think they’re on top of the world. Long story short-that married guy in your OP is literally living in a different reality than those of us who are woke. Unless you really like the guy, leave him be.

Unfortunately u r spot on.

The pervasiveness of the feminine imperative into the male mind is astounding and won't be alarming if it's not so widespread.

The supplications towards women is what also turns women off those men.

And violence perpetrated against women will continue to rise because of it.

Women themselves are their own worst enemies.