I'm a 47 year old man looking young and very fit and handsome. A 25-year-old girl in my office has been smiling a lot for a few months at me and we exchanged numbers a month back, lots of chats, three times went out, she encouraged me to call her sweet names, even suggested a few, she's always the first to initiate text messages, and a couple times she even brought somethings for me to eat and drink. On our last dinner, I kissed her on her forehead, she did not tell anything, and then I kissed her on her cheek, she was calm, and again I asked her to come closer to me and she did and I grabbed her and kissed her on her lips. She displayed a little resistance in the ending. I also grabber her hand and kissed her on her hands. Five minutes later, she asked what's our relationship and why I kissed her. She is my vibrational match, same value system and we both understand each other very well. I said I got attracted and kissed her. She later told me she's not interested in this kind of relationship. We are still talking and chatting. She says she sees me as a friend. Why did she do all of that, asking to call her sweety and all that non-sense. Ever since we have not gone out. What could be the issue
Older Man & Young Girl Issue
- Thread starter ariffmd
- Start date
The issue is she’s banging other men her age and you seem to be too old for her
I think it's fairly obvious. Apart from the age, which isn't a massive deal for a lot of women, you work together. That's a recipe for disaster, take it from someone who had two plates at the same job. I remember the first shift where they were working in the same area together after it all came out at work and they both looked at me when I arrived. Hilarious. But I didn't give a **** about the job so.
But more importantly, it doesn't really matter what the reasons are. It sounds like she didn't kiss you back which to me says all you need to know. You took your shot and missed and now you back right off. Be friendly and unless she gives you a SOLID reason (not friendly smiles or texts or has a drink with you, a REAL reason), to think she sees you sexually, you do nothing. It's done.
At least you took the shot, most guys won't even try that much.
Glassguy
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The issue is not that she told you she wasnt interested in you, rather you are not accepting that.
When a chick says "LJBF (Lets just be friends)" or "I dont want to ruin our friendship", she is telling you that she isnt interested in you sexually or romantically. Depending on what type of man that you are it needs to be handled one of two ways:
1.) You tell her that you arent interested in a platonic relationship with her at this point and cut ties. Meaning no more contact. As in if she texts you the next day and says "Hey friend, want to grab a drink?" you simply say "You know I cant be friends with you since I am interested in you romantically, I will have to decline".
You tell her that you cant be friends with someone that you are attracted to and want more than that with, but if she changes her mind to let you know. Then you allow yourself to not be strung along but being civil with her at work, but withdrawing all other attention.
2.) Be her friend- This doesnt work for 99% of guys out there, but it can work for me. Since I normally always have 2-4 plates and options, I can be friends with a chick if they gave me the LJBF for the short term, but before long she will get no more natural attention from me because I spend my attention on women that are reciprocating my sexual interest in them. I do not recommend this to most guys because they will become orbiters and get oneitis.
The very few times this has happened to me, the "friends" part fizzled out very quickly. I didnt initiate any contact but I did however respond to her contact. When I responded, they never got another compliment, no more trying to hang out with them......it was just friends lol.
Both of them (in a short amount of time) asked me "Are we OK?". "Is something wrong?"......"You are acting different (aka you're not acting the way I want you to....I still wanted you to give me compliments and pursue me to boost my ego)".
No, I am not acting different. We are just friends and I am treating it as such.
I ended up banging on of them not to long after. She wanted to still get my attention and was willing to go all the way for it. In the end it was a couple time thing and she was right when she just wanted to be friends. It would have never worked in the long term.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Hey guy, I'm around your age, and no disrespect, but what I highlighted above was a real w*uss move. That is what a parent does to their kid. You came across as Joe Nice Guy or "dad."
If it's a first date, I'll build a lot of sexual tension, get her laughing, tease her a bit, and make solid eye contact and have strong body language. Then, I will move in for a good kiss at the bar or in the car as soon as we walk out. I'll recommend Netflix, HBO, or whatever and her place or mine and as SOON as we're settled in, sitting, whatever, I grab her, throw her down and kiss her. After 10 minutes of this I can get them back to my or their room 80-90% of the time.
So, you came cross as the "old" prude and blew your chance. I date women 10-20+ year younger exclusively and know exactly how to play the dynamic.
PLUS, NEVER dip your pen in company ink. It could cost you your career and reputation. I have a good friend who was baited by a hot chick at work and as soon as he took the bait, she went to HR and filed a sexual harassment report. He's a VP of marketing making $200K. She's a marketing assistant making $35K, but guess who has all the power now?
Get smart and good luck.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
You waited too long to make a move and you are trying to bang a chick you work with.
First understand that she likely already knew how you felt about her and was using you for validation and perhaps others things that might be of benefit to her. If you had made a move on her a month ago, you would have learned this and not wasted your time.
Early on I agree she was giving you high indicators of interest, that really means nothing other than the fact she knows how to flirt with men to get what she wants. The only way to see if these indications are real or not is to make a date and make a move.
Hard to tell if your delay in action had anything to do with the rejection, I'm inclined to think it didn't, she liked you, but was never really interested in you romantically. All this *****-footing around just delayed the inevitable, you lost a month... chalk it up to experience... onto the next one. Good luck.
First understand that she likely already knew how you felt about her and was using you for validation and perhaps others things that might be of benefit to her. If you had made a move on her a month ago, you would have learned this and not wasted your time.
Early on I agree she was giving you high indicators of interest, that really means nothing other than the fact she knows how to flirt with men to get what she wants. The only way to see if these indications are real or not is to make a date and make a move.
Hard to tell if your delay in action had anything to do with the rejection, I'm inclined to think it didn't, she liked you, but was never really interested in you romantically. All this *****-footing around just delayed the inevitable, you lost a month... chalk it up to experience... onto the next one. Good luck.