Older chick drama

[cSquared]

Hello fellow DJ's

I've known this older chick for over a year now, we talk consistently but she loves to play games. When we meet on dates she always brings friends or arranges that I meet her in a group setting. When we are in a group she gives me her full attention and throws out sexual innuendos all the time, (her friends always comment on my attractiveness). I'd say I'm an attractive guy, I'm tall and witty and have no problems with girls, but this girl drives me crazy for some reason, maybe due to the fact that I'm usually the one in control. She's actually not my type at all but I find her intellectually stimulating and there's something quite charming about her.

I think I've given her too much control and have been too nice and caring to her. When we were both coincidentally overseas in the same place, we met up a few times and I thought things were moving on to the next stage. She's going through some sh1t emotionally right now, saying she had a bad relationship with some dude recently (even though she knows I'm interested on some levels), among other family issues. She confides in me all the time, tells me she misses me, texts me good morning, and says I make her feel safe. I know she's attracted to me but I have tried a few times to ask her out one on one, she always says yes but it never happens.

I told her "You let me know when you decide if I'm worth your time, I wont ask you again". She gave me the BS 'You and I are alike and make me happy when we talk blah blah, lets work this out'. At this point I haven't replied, two days later she texts me again and I still haven't replied or even read the message.

Is a 6 year difference in age too much? I want to win this control game, and since walking away I think I'm in control.

What's my next step?

 

[EverSure75]

I'd ignore her and leave her be. Hell. I'd even Delete her contact.
She's obviously hoping you'll remain an orbiter.

All this intellectual stimulation isn't worth it if she isn't responding to your advances.
If you want her as a friend....as in you're not attracted to her in the least...maybe you could stick around. It doesn't sound like this is what you want.

She already has you where she wants you...and it isn't where you want her. Move on, bro.

 

[marmel75]

Your next step? Delete her number and learn to have some goddamn self-respect and dignity.

You've already lost, and anything more you do from this point forward is increasing your losses since nothing is going to lead you to banging this chick.

This is exactly what I am talking about when I preach about dudes expending 95% of their energy and efforts into trying to increase the interest of disinterested women instead of simply spending that time and energy to go out and actually find interested women to begin with.

 

[CMNILS87]

She's attention whoring you. Why would you text her and ask if you're worth her time? It's the opposite, she's not worth your time. You're a busy man and attractive, you have stuff to do. Never get emotional over text with a chick over text. If you have to either don't at all or if you call them out, do it in person. She can't weasel her way out of it when you're staring her in the face.

 

[logicallefty]

OP you are doing good by not replying to her. As others have said you might have to forget her and move on. The only thing I can think to suggest is wait 2-3 more weeks. Then contact her. Make casual reference to her being your friend. Make her think that all she is to you is a friend. Sh!t if you can put it in the conversation somewhere tell her you're been dating somebody else. Even if you haven't. Do this for a little bit and then ask her to do something with you as a friend. Then make your move and try to fvck her. if she rejects at this point then write her off.. based on what you said I don't think you have anything to lose at this point so think about giving this a try. There is nothing a woman hates worse then when a guy officially friendzones her before she does him. I can't guarantee what will happen but if you play it right you will probably get at least a fvck or two out of it until her hamster starts to recover after what you just did to it. sounds like you've more than earned at least a lay.

 

[Bayne05]

Question is why do you show up with her friends there? That's the classic "I don't want to sleep with you" hint. A girl once told me if you meeting with a girl and her friends come along, she wants them to be there.

Of course she's intellectually stimulating, she's older than you and she knows every trick on the book to get a man on her leash. I've fvcked older woman before and let me tell you when and older woman wants you there will be no tricks or mind games involved she'll simply let you fvck, hell she'll even invite you herself to her place.

So don't talk to her until she makes the offer to see you alone.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I really hate posts like this that state "older" woman. For all we know, OP is in high school and this "older" woman is 24.

 

[dude99]

Hello fellow DJ's

I've known this older chick for over a year now, we talk consistently but she loves to play games. When we meet on dates she always brings friends or arranges that I meet her in a group setting. When we are in a group she gives me her full attention and throws out sexual innuendos all the time, (her friends always comment on my attractiveness). I'd say I'm an attractive guy, I'm tall and witty and have no problems with girls, but this girl drives me crazy for some reason, maybe due to the fact that I'm usually the one in control. She's actually not my type at all but I find her intellectually stimulating and there's something quite charming about her.

I think I've given her too much control and have been too nice and caring to her. When we were both coincidentally overseas in the same place, we met up a few times and I thought things were moving on to the next stage. She's going through some sh1t emotionally right now, saying she had a bad relationship with some dude recently (even though she knows I'm interested on some levels), among other family issues. She confides in me all the time, tells me she misses me, texts me good morning, and says I make her feel safe. I know she's attracted to me but I have tried a few times to ask her out one on one, she always says yes but it never happens.

I told her "You let me know when you decide if I'm worth your time, I wont ask you again". She gave me the BS 'You and I are alike and make me happy when we talk blah blah, lets work this out'. At this point I haven't replied, two days later she texts me again and I still haven't replied or even read the message.

Is a 6 year difference in age too much? I want to win this control game, and since walking away I think I'm in control.

What's my next step?

I read your first sentence and that told me everything i needed to know about her.

You feed her ego. She is flatterred a younger guy likes her but she isn't interested in you sexually. She knows you are sexualy interested in her so that is why she always meets you in groups.

Ever heard the saying " you make me feel so young."

She likes your attention. Nothing more.