Old

[Fruitbat]

Ok. Some better success since I....

- put a more confident looking pic in my profile
- put a clear definition of what I want in my profile I.e not just about me....this is what I want

I am chatting to a few girls....I am asking lots of qualifying questions about their life I.e. do you live with parents, what is your job, have you been married?

Any other tips? Go quiet for a few days on some of them? Open to ideas.

 

[Desdinova]

My online dating results improved when I chopped down my profile to one paragraph laced with humour and a few appealing tidbits about myself. I also have only one picture, and I don't smile in it. I have more of an "egotistical a55hole" look in it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Fruitbat,
Online dating is a pretty hopeless business,but it does help you in developing social skills that are very useful in the dating game...In general dating like most other things in life follows Prietos Maxim that 20% get 80% of the action...Seems a universal law,having said that,it can be useful in developing your conversational skills..Given long enough in the game,you come across and field most of the likely questions that you might be asked on a date....In a considered way you will respond to these questions and like an actor remembers his lines,you will more easily respond in a real life interface...There is one significant aspect of conversation that you will not learn,that is the art of knowing when to be quiet...When a Woman gets started talking,generally about herself,you don't have to be all that clever to keep the conversation flowing LOL.

 

[MOTU]

Good stuff above, and I would add - ask her out early on. Like 3-4 messages. Or even the first message. This will set you apart as a man of action and prevent her from just using you as an online orbiter to feed her ego. Don't chat her up forever.

 

[Fruitbat]

I found POF a total slvtfest. A lot of women with low self esteem. I'm on other sites which are better than POF. That said, I've had some success now, but so many of these women ignore me where in "real life" they'd be all over it!

I see the phrase "I look after myself and take pride in my appearance and I want someone similar" Looks aren't my strongest suit but not fugly by any measure, but you just know this means "I'm an alpha widow. I'm 32 and I say I want kids but in reality I'm going to be riding lots of c0ck from 9s and 10s only and hope to god one of them isn't already married. I'm in this game to win the top prize, or nothing"

What irritates me about this phrase is there is NO NEED to put it. If fat or ugly dudes message you, just ignore it. Delete them. Or does the mere thought that a man with lower or equal SMV messaging you fill you with horror? Or is it because she sees this phrase on DJ profiles and is copying?

Some of the chicks who put this are only 6s. I have a list of stuff on my profile I look for....but I dont say "dont message me if you're fat old or ugly" Some quite pretty girls believe they are ugly. Not many. The last thing I want is the sort of woman who thinks she's super hot messaging me, that's the most unattractive female behaviour there is.

 

[Fruitbat]

My strategy which has worked better recently is to avoid women trying to look super sexy. Not avoid hot women, but if there's a pout, a really short skirt, overt cleavage....these women are trying to get a certain type of man which I'm not. I'm trying for women who WOULD look hot in short skirts but CHOOSE to present themselves differently.

 

[Fruitbat]

It's weird but I must say that OLD has taught me a few things.

- Given the scenario where you cannot display true confidence and suaveness, anything other than totally ugly women beg for a 10.
- I have women 45-55 message me. This proves it. A tall, successfull man of 33 is a 10 to them. How they think anything would happen, like I'd settle for a woman well beyond breeding age 15 years older is beyond me. also, obese women too. They really don't understand leagues. I know that league's aren't helpful to DJ thinking, but I'm not going to try with a 21 year old 10 who is the daughter of a lord. Not because I don't have confidence, but because a) she isn't right, it doesn't fit does it? And b) there are richer, better looking dudes out there who would probably give her ltr. she will figure this out eventually and I can't waste time on women with a limited future with me.
- Disinterest is powerful. I have crashed when I show any interest or keeness past the first 2 messages. I move straight to straightforward questions like do you have kids? What is your job? If they pass, I ask for number and tell them I don't like text convo. What ALWAYS happens after that is they will try to draw you into text convo. I then switch to one word, or at best one sentence replies and get distant. Then she goes ghost to test ****. I then wait for her to return, I am NOT going to be beta and chase. Never works. Never heard a woman say she didn't like a guy because he wasn't full on enough. They MOAN that the guy THEY LIKE isn't full on enough. It you're full on, they stop liking you.
- OLD has motivated me to get fit and pack on some muscle. I have the potential just a bit overweight.

OLD was very, very frustrating when I first entered it, but it's teaching me to deal with constant rejection, not get oneitus, plate spinning, minimal investment until you get what you want, nexting, and the realities of women.

Sometimes from your greatest failures come the biggest changes and OLD is actually good for you if you don't take it to heart. You may not have any rejection confidence issues, you may know the DJ principles, but for former beta it's useful to prove the DJ stuff is real and powerful.

 

[Fruitbat]

I have to date OLD presently as IRL is harder to find anyone. most women my age are out with bfn. Other than that, lots of students but that's the last thing I want, some stupid young ***** which will be a pain in the ass and run off travelling at the point I am needing to have kids.

The last 2 cold approaches, one waitress, one girl in s pub, BOTH had their husband's in the building. Irl is very, very hard. I could pick up one nighters ok but, while I will take them as they come around, I want a quality woman, perhaps late 20s. I think Britain is different culturally as I can't go to church/go to salsa dancing lessons/take a course. All these things are highly unusual activities for a single British male. Pubs and bars are about the only place where you can approach women. No women in my workplace and friends all couples.