Re:
This isn't the 1st time it will happen, it won't be the last. So accept that part. I have about 6-12 girls who, if they popped back up, I'm still cool with, and I "might" consider dating if I was up to it.
But this gets back to CONTROL and what you want. She's a crush. That's it. And here's a perfect example of where a guy gets EMOTIONAL 1st, then LOGICAL 2nd. You're fantasizing AND worrying about something that has not happened and may never happen. So stop.
Next, cultivate the habit of realizing this. If all it takes is for a crush of your past to re-emerge in your life to shatter a relationship, I -would- reconsider your relationship and -what- you want. Because it might not be what you want.
Moreover, man-up. Be in control of YOURSELF. If the girl you got now you adore, she's great, she's open, she's wonderful, exercise strength and fortitude and deny the other girl. There's nothing saying you have to meet her; just because it's "nice". And just because the mom's talk, who cares? It's your life, MAKE YOUR OWN decisions.
If I, or any guy for that matter, dropped 1 girl because a former crush, or some great fling came back to you, you'd never be with anyone, because most guys would just go on thinking with their d!ck. That's a great way to be alone, have terrible relationships, and treat people awfully.
The other questions...which don't matter are, why aren't you with this crush?
Poor timing?
Never talked to her/never spoke about feelings?
Used to date but you broke up?
I guess it doesn't matter, what does matter is that, she's not in your present, and that's the only place you can live. The memories of old girls can be warm and fuzzy, but if they cared about you as much as this girl of 5 years, why did she not stay around?
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See...this is a perfect exercise in control. You're already letting the idea of this girl "coming back" bother you. Do you see the puppett strings? How 1 girl can just "make you feel a certain way" ? What do YOU want to feel? Think? Do? How do you want to act?
CONTROL the frame. Whether she wants you or not, DOES NOT MATTER. It doesn't, because FIRST it comes down to what YOU want. What you're doing is hanging your hat on WHAT she wants.
If she likes you ALOT, maybe you'll have something. Or won't you?
If she likes you a LITTLE, maybe you'll stay with your gf's with doubts.
If she doesn't like you, you'll run back to your GF with these guilty thoughts.
If she never sees you, you might feel rejected, glad to not have seen her, and only feel comfortable with your current girl, because an Old crush rejected you.
ALL of them are bad paths to follow.
This is why you must decide, UPFRONT, what it is you want.
Do you care? I hope not. Because even if 1 date goes well...there's no guarantee date #2 goes well, or even a relationship is possible, so temper yourself. This is food for thought.
A-Unit
