OkCupid

[Beeblebrox]

I've been checking this site (SoSuave) out for a while. There's some real interesting information floating around here.

Here's my deal. I'm a pretty good looking guy with a relatively outgoing personality. I am comfortable enough with my ability to attract women. I've never used an online dating site until two days ago, though. A friend of mine, somewhat jokingly, told me to check out OkCupid because he saw a few smoke shows on it. So after scoping it out I decided to throw a profile together and send out a few messages. Because why the hell not, right? My god these chicks are tough to get a response out of. The first day I probably sent fifteen messages out, got three responses, and one phone number.

Now today, day two, a random chick sent me a message asking if I wanted to chat. Chatted with her a bit tonight, and I'm deciding whether or not I want to meet up with her later this week. Here's my problem. 1. When I asked for her phone number, she didn't acknowledge the question but continued to tell me she wanted to meet up. 2. She only had one picture, and I couldn't tell how attractive she was - I could only tell she wasn't fat. I take it this usually means she is a dog? Now I'll be honest, the only reason I want to bang this chick is so I have sole bragging rights to landing the first lay off of a dating site among my buddies. If I need to tag an ugly chick for that to happen, so be it.

These three things make me nervous: She contacted me first, no phone #, and she only had the one picture.

I'm a bit paranoid about these sites. So what are the chances someone is screwing with me? Is that a common theme on these sites? Or is it more than likely just some uggo looking for a firm spanking?

 

[LoneWolf]

i have met many girls from dating websites. i've been on okcupid too. i wouldn't meet someone who won't give out a number that just smells trouble. i usually just look at their pic, get their number and meet up. never had problems.

 

[rum]

Don't get discouraged, 1 number out of 15 messages to so is actually pretty decent

But even if you get to the meeting up stage...remember the reason this girl is on a dating site is because nothing is good enough for her. And the fact that there is something like a 10-1 man to woman ratio means she can be incredibly picky. I might get 1 message a weeky from a non starter(out of shape, too old/young etc)...and if I'm lucky 1 message every 2 months or so from a girl who I might consider.

That site just inflates the female ego to enormous proportions. Nice guy, good looking, stable, good job, steady income etc. chances are that's still not going to be good enough for her.

 

[Lexington]

Like I always say, the dynamics of online dating are such that you have to play the numbers game big time. The response rates are going to be very low because of the horrible guy-to-girl ratio. Your odds of success with any given girl on OKCupid are actually less than what they'd be in the real world. But, you can also approach a much higher number of girls online than you can in real life with minimal effort.

One good thing about the whole online dating thing is that if the girls are willing to meet up with you, they tend to give it up pretty eagerly because they've already completed the screening process. They basically just want to see that you look like you do in your profile and that you are really who you claim to be.

 

[Lexington]

Double post

 

[the_stig]

I get 10-20 messages per day on pof (conversations mostly started by me) and meet many of them, but for the life of me, can't get girls to reply on okcupid. If they do on rare occasion, it invariably goes nowhere fast. I use the same pictures, same profile information. I don't get it, and my luck, or lack of, is echoed by other guy friends who've tried it. The girls do seem to have more class than on pof (less AWs, fatties, single moms), still my only conclusion is there must be more high value men on that site. The one girl I did manage to meet from okstupid mentioned getting lots of messages from doctor, lawyer, and professional types.

 

[rum]

I get 10-20 messages per day on pof (conversations mostly started by me) and meet many of them, but for the life of me, can't get girls to reply on okcupid. If they do on rare occasion, it invariably goes nowhere fast. I use the same pictures, same profile information. I don't get it, and my luck, or lack of, is echoed by other guy friends who've tried it. The girls do seem to have more class than on pof (less AWs, fatties, single moms), still my only conclusion is there must be more high value men on that site. The one girl I did manage to meet from okstupid mentioned getting lots of messages from doctor, lawyer, and professional types.

don't let that bother you though...most of those doctor/lawyer types are usually 40+(and look alot older because of their profession) and have significant baggage such as multiple divorces, kids etc. You have a lot going for you as a mid 20's guy.

 

[LoneWolf]

i have noticed many of them are there because they're bored too. and i suppose getting all this attention makes them feel good. it's tricky cause you gotta be interesting when you message them and keep that interest. to be honest, if you approached the SAME girl in real life, it would probably be a lot different and you would have better chance because there's body language and talk whereas online you don't have that and it's a bit of a killer. i bet half the girls who reject me online wouldn't reject me in person. it's just a whole different vibe. still, i play both games. online and offline.

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

I've been checking this site (SoSuave) out for a while. There's some real interesting information floating around here.

Here's my deal. I'm a pretty good looking guy with a relatively outgoing personality. I am comfortable enough with my ability to attract women. I've never used an online dating site until two days ago, though. A friend of mine, somewhat jokingly, told me to check out OkCupid because he saw a few smoke shows on it. So after scoping it out I decided to throw a profile together and send out a few messages. Because why the hell not, right? My god these chicks are tough to get a response out of. The first day I probably sent fifteen messages out, got three responses, and one phone number.

Now today, day two, a random chick sent me a message asking if I wanted to chat. Chatted with her a bit tonight, and I'm deciding whether or not I want to meet up with her later this week. Here's my problem. 1. When I asked for her phone number, she didn't acknowledge the question but continued to tell me she wanted to meet up. 2. She only had one picture, and I couldn't tell how attractive she was - I could only tell she wasn't fat. I take it this usually means she is a dog? Now I'll be honest, the only reason I want to bang this chick is so I have sole bragging rights to landing the first lay off of a dating site among my buddies. If I need to tag an ugly chick for that to happen, so be it.

These three things make me nervous: She contacted me first, no phone #, and she only had the one picture.

I'm a bit paranoid about these sites. So what are the chances someone is screwing with me? Is that a common theme on these sites? Or is it more than likely just some uggo looking for a firm spanking?

Number 1, leave that chick alone. It is 2011. There is NEVER an excuse for a woman to upload only 1 photo. I've met a few dozen women off OKCupid along with many more from other sites like POF, MySpace, Facebook, etc. Most women on the have far more photos. You can do better and it is fair to assume she's hiding something like poundage or worse. Do you really want to find out?

To ensure a higher success rate with women replying to you, you need to first ensure that your profile is on point. Photos should be the best depiction of you in varying situations. Perhaps have 1 or 2 photos (at most) with an attractive woman in a casual setting. In your description, keep it sweet, simple and original. When messaging, what are you saying? Generally, its best not to give overt compliments--especially physical ones. Notice her "type" or something unique and message her accordingly. Wit helps. For instance, attention-whorish women should be handled as if she is competing for YOUR attention. Down to earth or older women, not so much. Once you get the hang of it, you should be able to exchange numbers with a woman within 6 to 8 exchanges AT MOST. Anything more means you're at risk for being an internet buddy, rather than a booty call, friend with benefits, or boyfriend.

If you want me to evaluate your profile, PM me your link or friend me on Facebook (fb.com/flynessauthor)

Good luck