OKCupid found me...great LTR potential!?!?!?

[Mr. Bond]

DISCLAIMER: THIS CHICK IS DEFINITELY THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE! DATE ONLINE B!TCHES AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I've been really skeptical of online dating. Most of the girls seem crazy, slutty, ugly, have a kid, etc etc etc. I've been having zero trouble getting laid with girls I meet in person, but I didn't really feel anything for any of them. They looked good, but they definitely weren't long term material.

So I decided to see if I could find someone who was LTR material on okcupid. It has a billion questions to match people, and I figured if any site could do it - okcupid could. I decided to find the highest percentage match, and take them out on a few dates. If the girl was nothing special, I could write off online dating and proclaim it bullsh!t. If she was the incredible match okcupid said she was, then I could enjoy the company of an awesome chick.

I found a girl who was a 97%, and she appeared to be pretty good looking. She's 6 feet tall, which definitely hampers her ability to meet the right man for her. We went out on a date, and the first thing I noticed was that she had to have intentionally picked bad pictures of herself for the website. This girl is a model with a perfect body and legs that go on forever. We hit it off like we had known each other forever. I've seen her a few more times, and she is even hotter with her clothes off. The best part? She is cool as sh!t, and I make her act like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

So yes, Mr. Bond is a bit infatuated here. Obviously she isn't perfect - no one is. I'm gonna keep spinning my other plates to make sure I keep things in perspective. We will see how things turn out, but just wanted to let you guys know that they aren't ALL bad on those websites.

Good luck gentlemen.

 

[rhythmic]

I've had 5 exclusive girlfriends in my time, and by far the best one is the only one I met online - also on OKC. This girl had traditional values, was hilarious, good looking, good job and loved sex.

There ARE good girls online - but I would imagine they are in the 0.1%. Good on you, hope it goes well!

 

[pdx1138]

I've had LT relationships with 2 from POF of all places.

Both had their act together and were extremely rare exceptions for POF.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Sounds like you are setting yourself up for a nice AFC relationship ruining. Don't think that little disclaimer you put at the end is fooling me for a second.

You don't know this chick man, really spin plates, don't treat her like anything special, MAKE HER EARN IT.

The Splacker

 

[Desdinova]

I've dated much better quality women I've met online as opposed to the damaged 5hit I've met in bars.

Online dating seems to generally be the last resort for men, but not so for women. I think what it boils down to is that women are fed up with the AFCs they meet in real life, so they try to find non-AFCs on the internet. The only thing that changes is the medium for which they're meeting AFCs.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Sounds like you are setting yourself up for a nice AFC relationship ruining. Don't think that little disclaimer you put at the end is fooling me for a second.

You don't know this chick man, really spin plates, don't treat her like anything special, MAKE HER EARN IT.

The Splacker

Haha. It does sound that way, doesn't it? Good thing I'm banging 5 other chicks, and I know better than to show her evidence of anything I said in this thread.

 

[Zarky]

Tell us about the 5 other chicks plz. Usually when guys put up a number that high it's BS. thanks.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Lol, so I can look cool and prove myself to a bunch of guys I'll never meet? I have never had this many before, and it's starting to get difficult to keep them from dropping out. I have 3-day weekends, so I hang out with a chick for each day of my "A" week, and one chick for each day of my "B" week. At least, that's how it ideally works out. Sometimes they have to be shuffled around due to schedules and whatnot. One girl I met through my old job is getting rather clingy, and even though she's been a really dependable "sure thing" for the past couple months I'll probably have to let her go. At this point I can't say dating this many women is a great idea, but the best I could do in the past is dating 2-3 women at a time so I figured I would see just how far I could take this. 2-3 women was a lot more ideal.

 

[VladPatton]

You can meet a quality chick on the moon if you happen to be at the right place at the right time. But yes, generally, online chicks are batʂhit mudderfaquin crazy.

 

[Zarky]

DISCLAIMER: THIS CHICK IS DEFINITELY THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE!

Oh, and OP, when it comes to women, there are no exceptions to the rules.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Oh, and OP, when it comes to women, there are no exceptions to the rules.

I agree that there aren't any exceptions to how female attraction works - no matter how much a guy cares about her or likes her. She works the same way.

That disclaimer simply means she's a quality chick in a sea of online dating whales. I'm sure if you tried online dating, you would consider yourself an exception to the rule of loser guys on those sites.


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As an update on this girl, her interest level is through the roof. Also, she's become a very useful learning tool. She's very open with feedback on how my actions affect her. For example, I instinctively know it drives a girl nuts when I randomly drop contact for a few days but I haven't had any girls actually flat out tell me so. They tell me indirectly through their actions...texting me more, acting desperate, etc. After we finish fvcking, she tells me that she's so glad that we're hanging out because she was wondering how interested I was after I dropped off the face of the planet. She tells me she kept wondering all day if I would get back to her, and how she would repeatedly go running to try (in vain) to get her mind off me.

I know better than to take everything a woman says at face value, of course. Her feedback isn't likely to change how I approach things, either. But it is interesting to hear what my game is like from a female point of view.

 

[pdx1138]

awesome. sounds like a keeper for the time being.

 

[HedoRick]

I am curious to see how this pans out in a few months. Although okcupid has better quality than POF, I feel like meeting a truly quality woman there is akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

 

[Mr. Bond]

I am curious to see how this pans out in a few months. Although okcupid has better quality than POF, I feel like meeting a truly quality woman there is akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

Okay, I'll keep this updated. I agree - needle in a haystack. She's the only one I thought was worth meeting. I'm busy for the next little while, so I won't see her for another 2.5 weeks.

 

[evan12]

Good luck man , enjoy your hot chick.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Update:

I spent last weekend with her...met her parents, who are cool as $hit, and had an awesome time with her. The girl is crazy about me. I'm doing my best to make sure that she is always showing more interest than I am, and so far it's working.

I just looked up some stuff about nymphomania, and it turns out this girl is not a nympho. She's just super fvcking horny for me 24/7. I can deal with that.

She hasn't forced a "what are we?" conversation yet, but I can tell she is wondering.

I've also seen some qualities that I wonder if they will get old eventually. She's fairly bossy with most people, and has made it clear that she likes that I'm the only guy who won't do what she says. But it may become exhausting to keep putting her in her place.

Also, I like that she always says what's on her mind so I don't have to guess, but I'm wondering if that will lead to some pretty epic fights. These thoughts are just me trying to make sure I stay objective and keep things in perspective.

Those are just nitpicks, though. So far, so good. I've dropped 3 of my plates, keeping okcupid girl and 2 others. There just isn't the time for 6 plates.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Ha Ha, what a problem to have!! Atta boy.

Well, if things seem to be going awry, throw the sitch at us and we will give you an outside perspective.

Thanks man! I always appreciate your input.



So...here I am, after quite a leave of absence. I suppose I will update you guys on things.

Everything is...pretty effing good. Maybe a couple weeks after I posted that last update, I decided to make this girl my girlfriend. Things have been going really well....she is bossy, but I just laugh when she tries to tell me to do things. She never stops trying to get me to be her doormat, and it's actually really amusing. I thought it may get annoying. She's made it clear that she loves that I don't do what she says.

I also thought we would get in some epic fights. That still may happen, but any disagreements we've had so far have been plenty manageable. She gets emotional, gets mad, I laugh about her being mad about something ridiculous, she sees she's being irrational, and then she gets over it. That's how they typically go.

A few days ago she told me she loves me. I didn't say it back to her since I don't love her right now. I probably will eventually, though.

-----------------

Now, onto a couple observations about relationships/dating/etc in the past months.

1. I've found a way to have the indifference you get from spinning plates without actually spinning plates. It's simple, really. In order to be outcome independent and not be needy, you must learn to be happy on your own. Understand that only you can give yourself happiness. No one else can make you happy. Once I knew that I would be happy whether I was in a relationship or not, the outcome became irrelevant. I enjoy my girlfriend, but I know I will be happy with or without her. Simple as that.

2. It seems like my standards are much higher now. This is great, since the quality of the girls you get depends a lot on how worthy you feel. After dating a 6 foot blonde model for awhile, I am used to having beauty. I don't feel the slightest bit intimidated by a gorgeous woman. I could easily get another if I really wanted to.

3. Don't put all your cards on the table. Ever. You can be sweet to your girl without feeling the need to divulge how much you really feel about her. Always make sure she is admitting her feelings to you a little more than you are admitting to her.

This was one of my biggest mistakes in my last relationship. I was like "Great! We're in love! I can tell you about all my fears, insecurities, etc and I can relax and totally be lazy now!" ...don't do that. Keep your guard up, at least a little bit. It never ends.

4. Super-hot women are used to getting their way, and will demand it. Treat them like any other girl and don't let them boss you around. They will love you for it.


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Those are all the thoughts I have for now. More to come as this relationship progresses.

 

[d0g]

This is good stuff! Keep it rolling...

(SS definitely tends to lack threads on maintaining a LTR, and especially what you can and can't let slide vs just gaming plates, so this is a good one.)

 

[pdx1138]

right on.

keep informing as time goes by.

great lesson for the rest of us.

I liked the part about you not being intimidated by truly gorgeous women.

I had a tendency to be so enamored I clammed up and didn't seem
very social when all I was thinking was "this chick is hot, I don't want
to mess up!" -WRONG thinking on my part.

 

[Jaylan]

OP, focus on your compatibility to her if you want an LTR. You seem way too focused on looks right now, and thats where your infatuation seems to mainly be coming from. Dont fail into that trap because then youll start pedestalizing this chick and end up giving her all the power in the relationship.

Step outside of yourself for a minute and stop acting like youre so lucky to have met a hot chick whos pretty cool. Slow down, get to know her some more, and see if shes compatible enough that shes worthy of your commitment.

PS - Dont get fooled by the idea of sex and nymphomania either. Many guys who've been down this road will tell you how some girls are all horny and sex crazed, and then once the commitment comes, the sex goes.