Okay Hold On For A Minute, Let Me Be Honest, Shyt

[Mr. Cardio]

Okay look, I will type this up and thats it alright! I mean, just listen for a minute shyt.......I hate this..

Okay, I am totally, I dont know how to describe it, but, fvck, let me explain this.

So I began, like for the longest, I was never afraid to approach girls. I would basically go up to chicks and get a quick number close just like that......last summer, I created something called the Pimp List. In the list, I had gathered nearly 80 phone numbers in about two months. What hurt my confidence, was that I only dated about two of those women, but no fvcks.

This really dampened me as to the next time to approach women. So then I started drinking and it has became a habit, so I started getting drunk before teh club, and I went around the entire club basically as the life of the party and approaching every chick in the club. I got some dances, but mostly women pushing me off.

So after trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, okay...here is the honest part, I figured out that my rejection in both scenerios was that I was acting and behaving totally dumb and like a beta male.....while I said the alpha words that I would hear other alphas say, I still was behaving like a beta.

So throughtout this year, I have grown into a dominant male. Not imiating other men, but literally, being myself and dominant. I feel grown and sexy, and very confident, it shows in my body language, voice tone, etc.

The problem is, is that now that I feel women are checking me out, and that I feel they are attracted to me, I dont wanna approach.

Its crazy and I cant really explain it, but the burns and rejections I got while acting like a dominant male, it still seems to make me not wanna go up and approach anymore. while the attraction is there, and I can feel it, they show it, etc, I just dont wanna approach or make a move. I am not saying I cant, because its obvious I can, but I just dont want to....but deep down inside, I do, but I dont.

I mean, this is hard for me to explain. I am not afraid to approach women, the only thoughts i get for this is that I dont want her to be empowered for rejecting me, and its also a thought that says liek women dont like dyck....but I KNOW that I was gettting rejected so much before because of the way I was acting.

You know, its feels good to be confident like I am. but how do I get what the beta male in me had, and he had the approaching atttiude, even though he wasnt attractive at all, at least he still approached....even though he had no chance at all, he still tried. Now, I know that I can succeed, but....I dont try. Why am I doing this? haha, I know you all will think I am a troll, I am not meaning to be one at all, and its not for attention......I mean, I am just being honest.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

anybody, damn it, I dunno, I am starting to confuse my damn self

 

[spider_007]

hey fvck face, answer the question

 

[Q-Pid]

On behalf of everyone at this community:

Would you kindly fvck off

 

[Nighthawk]

Anyone read any good books lately?

 

[spider_007]

i'm in the middle of the game (even tho i don't consider that a reall book)

 

[MindOverMatter]

There is a saying "if you keep doing things the same way, you will get the same results".

Think about your time in the summer when you got those 80 numbers. It sounds like you were focusing on the wrong things. Making a list, getting lots of numbers, i.e. quantity. By focusing on quantity, you sacrificed quality. You see it all the time here and on mASF. These so called 100 approach journals. Guys start them, and just want to finish them. So what do they do? They do all these approaches, but they rush through them. They don't pace themselves, they don't talk to the girls the way they should they RUSH everything. So you know what happens? The girls see that you are rushing it, and start to flake.

You can't rush these things. You can't make deadlines for hooking up, because if you do, you will pressure yourself (and the girl you approach) into meeting this deadline, and you will fail.

Try different things until you find what works. Most importantly, be yourself and improve your own natural game. Don't follow other people's rules, because chances are it wont work for you. Don't be what some guy on the internet says is alpha and thinks will get you laid, be yourself. If it works, great, if it doesn't, try something different.

If being dominant isn't getting you laid, then maybe it's not your particular thing. Try being a good guy and taking interest in these girls you approach. Don't rush to # close them right away if you know you'll see them again in that place (i.e. class/gym). You don't always have to get a phone number either right away, sometimes an MSN address works just as well, sometimes even better. A lot of girls can be uncomfortable over the phone with a stranger they recently met, and as a result they may be flaky. Meanwhile, they can be really open on an instant messenger and you can get to know them well.

Focus on the quality of your game, not the quantity. And that's the key to it all. Getting to know the girl well enough that you can connect with her. Learn her personality, and mirror it. Learn the things you two have in common, and take/make note of them. Learn what she was like as a kid, what her goals were then, what they are now, where she sees herself in 10 years, what her most embarassing moment was, etc. Get her to open up with you, and then take the next step and make some plans. Walking will get you farther then running.

Also, don't approach every girl with the intent of picking up. Approach some girls simply for the sake of establishing friendships because sometimes, this will get you further. By making friends with some girls you approach, you expand your social network and become a part of their world. That means that you can approach other girls in that world, without having the handicap of being a stranger. In other words, it's a lot easier to get a job when someone recomends you for it, then trying to do it all on your own.

Don't be discouraged to approach because of the past. Instead, try different things until you find out what works.

Good luck man.

 

[chancer]

Excellent MindOverMatter... I especially like your last paragraph, something that's not so much stress on this site. It's OK to befriend girls and open up your networks. Open your networks period. Before I knew like 10 people outside my family. Now I'm close to about 40 and chat it up with over a 100. life is ****ing sick now

 

[skeeloo]

hmm.. mrcardio. its kinda scary but you just explained me exactly one year ago infact sometimes im still like that.at first.i was rejected when i approached infact i approached more then than now i was never scared of approaching..back then but nothing really kicked of for me infact i only got laid once that year..

but when i changed..my mindset and attitude i got alotta attention infact..i keep wondering whether i was ugly back then but that wasnt the case it was just my mindset that wasnt working for me..fast forward to my current state..i know im the ****,,because of how many girls give me attention..but that anger and haterd..from being rejected made me not want to approach that much..i had the guts to approach but i was to stuckup and angry to appraoch them i wanted them to pay for the rejections they caused me:crackup: ,i dunno man iv become so ****y and feel so superior to many women that it backfires at me..but still gave me alotta attention from women.. it gets to a point where if im being stared at by women which happens alott..i know i like the attention but im also like wtf is this woman looking at..you now want me all of a sudden ..**** like that, for me theres no point laying different women every night and risk my self getting stds because if i really put myself and the effort to it i would get laid regular i still got issue's to clear up with my self .

what you should do is go for the women that give real interest and learn how to spot it..many women are attention *****s and play with ur mind ..but going for the ones that show real interest will reduce your rejection possibilities..:crackup:

this **** is funny...

 

[MuayThai]

Habits, and supply/demand

Ha ha ha, that story sounds exactly like my one.

After becoming more dominant (more alpha if you will), just like you did, I also felt less of an earge to get girls. Why?

Because I thought I could get them, but I knew that when I go Speak to them it would be exactly like every other interested woman i've ever spoke to.
I think this is what messes with your head. It's probley our more primitive brain working or mabye the unconcious part at play.
But whatever, the solution... Chat em up! get some macking going and you'll be away! Make it a habitual and... you've overcome an important phase of becoming a DJ.

Important lesson!!

"Thinking" you know somthing is alot different from acctually knowing.
You must know that you know.
knolege is learnt, not dreamt up.

but you might be different...

 

[chancer]

Reading what we have to say will only do so much. Go out and find your own solutions to your problems. And then when you figure it all out, come back and share with the rest of us.

 

[Warrior Princess]

Hmmmm you people are mean.

What does Q-Unit stand for Queer Unit?

Anyway, Mr Cardio my advice to you is do not underestimate yourself. Who cares if you get rejected. It'll make you stronger. Just remember that as a female, rejecting guys is nothing personal. So you shouldn't feel bad. There is nothing wrong with you.


Meg

 

[chancer]

:crackup:

 

[BrotherAP]

I think you've built your ego around your so-called ability to pick up girls.

You say that they give you so much attention, and you know you could approach them any day of the week but you just don't want to anymore. You think it's because you know you can.

In truth, you've made yourself believe you could seduce any woman now. The problem is, you have yet to put this belief to the test. Since your ego depends on this ability you attributed to yourself, you dare not risking destroying it by - shock - getting rejected. If you were to get rejected, then what?

The problem is, is that now that I feel women are checking me out, and that I feel they are attracted to me, I dont wanna approach.

Its crazy and I cant really explain it, but the burns and rejections I got while acting like a dominant male, it still seems to make me not wanna go up and approach anymore. while the attraction is there, and I can feel it, they show it, etc, I just dont wanna approach or make a move. I am not saying I cant, because its obvious I can, but I just dont want to....but deep down inside, I do, but I dont.
[...]
I am not afraid to approach women, the only thoughts i get for this is that I dont want her to be empowered for rejecting me
[...]
Now, I know that I can succeed, but....I dont try

So you see a woman checking you out, and you get that ego boost. You know you could have her.

But if you approached her, you might not get her afterall. Then what? You were wrong. No more ego boost.

Perhaps, by being too sure of yourself you've given women too much power to destroy your ego.

Try humbling yourself. Think about it, you are still having trouble. You always have to be able to try without the expectation of success. Rejection is not the end of the world.

Before, when you were unafraid to approach, you expected to fail. You knew that you needed practice. Now you're unwilling to accept that fact.

 

[( . )( . )]

I seriously dont get it, how do you approach 80 chicks and not be able to fvck a single one? The odds are stacked in your favour but what the hell are you doing to blow it?

Even the worst AFC could luck out and tap 1 in 80 (supposing he had the balls to approach 80)

Are you over analyzing and turning all this into rocket science or what?

80.....damn. Surely after the 20th and still no cvnt to show for it you would have thought somethings not right here?

 

[comote]

This is an awesome question and a situation that alot of people here can relate to.

The advice to not view every interaction with women as an approach is right on. Become friends with them. That's right, be friends with attractive women.

Realize there is a difference between being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive. Don't bother trying to get a girl unless you find yourself attracted to her. I know this is a recipe for one-itis for alot of people but believe me it is worth it. When you limit yourself to only the girls you really find appealing other women can sense that.

So sit tight and be patient, try and get to know the people in your social circle. Eventually one or maybe more of these women will appeal to you as more than just a friend.

 

[Hamno]

Mr Cardio, I wish you well and mearly hope that people read your goodbye post as an introduction to this site...a little perspective never hurts.

Hamno
-Happily hooked up but still finds this stuff interesting/funny

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by Warrior Princess
What does Q-Unit stand for Queer Unit?

Unlike you I am not a gay man posing as a women. So no.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Originally posted by Warrior Princess
Hmmmm you people are mean.

What does Q-Unit stand for Queer Unit?

:crackup: :crackup:

ouch!

 

[Q-Pid]

Don't worry about it - he wa sneg hitting me.