amoka said:
There is nothing wrong with being "nice/good guy"; in fact it is an admirable character to have. The only problem might be to not let others take advantage over your "niceness". That is to realize when people are taking of your "niceness" and pull out.
Absolutely.
I know your pain - I was a nice guy and I still retain that quality.
But you must learn now to LOVE YOURSELF - this is not selfishness, this is a fact of being a strong and centered man who knows boundaries and won't take sh!t from women if you care about your own respect first.
The problem with 'Nice' men is that you supplicate to the needs of others first. This can be perceived as weak and manipulative and predatory women (trust me, there are PLENTY of women like that, if not all have some form of this negative tendency) will target you on purpose. They will if not conscious, but subconsciously treat you like sh!t and destroy your self-esteem over time.
Follow the major guidelines you learn from here, make it work with your inherent "niceness" - don't look at it as a negative. It is an asset of your soul and you are how you are created and it is a beautiful thing. Follow these rules and integrate them into your dating game and you should be all right in the end:
1) Know your boundaries - be able to WALK AWAY at anytime when a woman starts to disrespect you in any amount.
2) Be Indifferent - always care less, and emotionally UNINVESTED as long as you can, and take care of your heart first always.
3) Learn to Qualify women - know what you want and don't want in a woman, this can't be achieved until you have some battlewounds in the dating war with women. NEVER get into a relationship with a woman due to 'convenience' just because some woman just happen to show interest in you somewhere for no good compatibility reason. You did not QUALIFY her, you just got into a time waster due to convenience and low-self esteem because you got some attention. This is AFC. It takes time to know a woman - so do the homework first before jumping into the water with your pants off.
4) Change your appearance - dress masculine, know your style, be an eye candy for women. Nice men typically do not know how to dress to kill and excude masculinity and confidence. Learn how to make the first impression that you are a sexual threat, and you have less of a battle to climb to avoid being manipulated as a 'Nice Guy'.
5) Never pedestal the woman you are with - no woman is better or lower than you. Try to find women who are on 'your level' - try not to date women better looking than you just to satisfy your low self-esteem or ego to prove that you can have a prize in your arms. You will end up getting BURNED and get your self-esteem destroyed. Be reasonable and meet women who are on your level, you will suffer much less destruction in the end.
Be Well.
Exodus
