Ok so I badly want to do online dating...

[bigdave17]

because my friend, who is 5'4 of all things, met an extremely awesome girl on there but I just can't find a way to take pics of myself that are true to what I see in the mirror. in the mirror - i see great looking rugged features, a normal maybe slightly oversized nose, very strong jawline/chin. In pics, I look like an average middle eastern guy with a weird somewhat of a beak nose. I just don't get it? It's so unbelievably frustrating. I know the mirror is the real indicator - I wouldn't have people, random strangers even, constantly telling me that I'm extraordinarily handsome every single week. Should I pay a professional photographer to help me take decent pictures? Also for the love of god, will someone please help me write a profile? Anything I write just feels and sounds so awkward.


I want to do online dating because I only have 2 options in real life for meeting attractive women in their 20s - the gym and bars/clubs and both options are absolutely horrific (I live in midwest suburbs 45 minutes from Chicago). The gym has a very high difficulty level in terms of just approaching period. Bars and clubs, it's easy to approach but results are insanely difficult. I don't see 22-28 year old women really anywhere else because of my location. I continue to have an extremely busy life - I go to concerts, bars, clubs, any kind of social event I can go to really but the natural dating opportunities just don't come. I try to occasionally make something happen with the cold approach but the results there are invariably horrible.


I have to snap out of this funk. I keep waiting and waiting for some kind of natural opportunity to pop up and it's not coming...meanwhile I'm creeping up on 29. I'll be 35 and with zero real dating experience before I know it. I have to snap out of this. I think online dating is my best bet, especially with how picky I am. I can filter out all the garbage (single moms, smokers, etc...).

 

[user43770]

because my friend, who is 5'4 of all things, met an extremely awesome girl on there but I just can't find a way to take pics of myself that are true to what I see in the mirror. in the mirror - i see great looking rugged features, a normal maybe slightly oversized nose, very strong jawline/chin. In pics, I look like an average middle eastern guy with a weird somewhat of a beak nose. I just don't get it? It's so unbelievably frustrating. I know the mirror is the real indicator - I wouldn't have people, random strangers even, constantly telling me that I'm extraordinarily handsome every single week. Should I pay a professional photographer to help me take decent pictures? Also for the love of god, will someone please help me write a profile? Anything I write just feels and sounds so awkward.


I want to do online dating because I only have 2 options in real life for meeting attractive women in their 20s - the gym and bars/clubs and both options are absolutely horrific (I live in midwest suburbs 45 minutes from Chicago). The gym has a very high difficulty level in terms of just approaching period. Bars and clubs, it's easy to approach but results are insanely difficult. I don't see 22-28 year old women really anywhere else because of my location. I continue to have an extremely busy life - I go to concerts, bars, clubs, any kind of social event I can go to really but the natural dating opportunities just don't come. I try to occasionally make something happen with the cold approach but the results there are invariably horrible.


I have to snap out of this funk. I keep waiting and waiting for some kind of natural opportunity to pop up and it's not coming...meanwhile I'm creeping up on 29. I'll be 35 and with zero real dating experience before I know it. I have to snap out of this. I think online dating is my best bet, especially with how picky I am. I can filter out all the garbage (single moms, smokers, etc...).

For you, I think any experience with women is good, and you should have at it.

You don't seem to have a sack of nuts, despite all your claims of success. Bag a few 5's and learn how to act around women.

 

[bigdave17]

For you, I think any experience with women is good, and you should have at it.

You don't seem to have a sack of nuts, despite all your claims of success. Bag a few 5's and learn how to act around women.

I already have. Having sex with average/overweight/older women/single moms doesn't help my prospects with the quality women. Mediocre women are very easy for me because they realize they are way below my league. The quality, cute, mid to late 20s women with no kids are still impossible for me (and impossible for most men) because they know the whole world wants them and their standards are absolutely astronomical.

I know how to act around the opposite gender. I'm fantastic on dates. I'm fantastic around any woman who is interested in me.

 

[Wilko]

Dave, the thing about effective OLD profiles is you can't fake them or borrow someone else's schtick. Your profile has to be congruent with your online communication and who you are in the real world.

That said there's some general principles that do work - you just have to "Dave them up", right?

Photos:

Two or three photos. You need a decent mug shot and a decent full-length shot, everything else is optional.

Just look your best, you don't need to paint some amazing picture of your life through your profile pictures. Others may disagree but I've never found it to be useful - and I personally find it obnoxious when I see other people (women) doing it. You do it your way though.

Good jawline? All the more reason to use a side profile for your mugshot. Staring straight at the camera and smiling just doesn't work for guys (at least that's what the data says). Big noses are masculine - Brody that sh*t up my friend! Own it.

Bio:

Just a couple of things I've found that work - don't try and execute them all at once.

Pick a niche, don't try to appeal to everyone.

Don't sell yourself with superlatives (cringe!) - talk about something instead of talking about yourself. Express an opinion.

Have something in your bio that gives women a really easy, obvious opener.

Keep it brief.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Put your best professional picture as your main picture.

If you have any casual professional modeling shots, make that the second picture.

For the final picture, something casual.

It's all pictures. Don't write much in your description. Just make sure your age and height are visible and accurate. I wouldn't write more than a sentence for the rest of the profile. If she wants to get to know you, she has to go on a date with you.

 

[bigdave17]

Dave, the thing about effective OLD profiles is you can't fake them or borrow someone else's schtick. Your profile has to be congruent with your online communication and who you are in the real world.

That said there's some general principles that do work - you just have to "Dave them up", right?

Photos:

Two or three photos. You need a decent mug shot and a decent full-length shot, everything else is optional.

Just look your best, you don't need to paint some amazing picture of your life through your profile pictures. Others may disagree but I've never found it to be useful - and I personally find it obnoxious when I see other people (women) doing it. You do it your way though.

Good jawline? All the more reason to use a side profile for your mugshot. Staring straight at the camera and smiling just doesn't work for guys (at least that's what the data says). Big noses are masculine - Brody that sh*t up my friend! Own it.

Bio:

Just a couple of things I've found that work - don't try and execute them all at once.

Pick a niche, don't try to appeal to everyone.

Don't sell yourself with superlatives (cringe!) - talk about something instead of talking about yourself. Express an opinion.

Have something in your bio that gives women a really easy, obvious opener.

Keep it brief.

bro I'm gonna PM you some personal information about myself, can you please just write a quick and easy decent profile for me?

I seriously have no idea what to write about myself

please, I'm begging you

 

[Wilko]

bro I'm gonna PM you some personal information about myself, can you please just write a quick and easy decent profile for me?

I seriously have no idea what to write about myself

please, I'm begging you

Kind of goes against what I was just advocating, but sure, it could be my one charitable act this Christmas, lol.

We'll take it to PM. Let me know what apps/sites you plan on using.

 

[bigdave17]

Kind of goes against what I was just advocating, but sure, it could be my one charitable act this Christmas, lol.

We'll take it to PM. Let me know what apps/sites you plan on using.

did you have great luck with online dating?

 

[btownbuck2012]

because my friend, who is 5'4 of all things, met an extremely awesome girl on there but I just can't find a way to take pics of myself that are true to what I see in the mirror. in the mirror - i see great looking rugged features, a normal maybe slightly oversized nose, very strong jawline/chin. In pics, I look like an average middle eastern guy with a weird somewhat of a beak nose. I just don't get it? It's so unbelievably frustrating. I know the mirror is the real indicator - I wouldn't have people, random strangers even, constantly telling me that I'm extraordinarily handsome every single week. Should I pay a professional photographer to help me take decent pictures? Also for the love of god, will someone please help me write a profile? Anything I write just feels and sounds so awkward.


I want to do online dating because I only have 2 options in real life for meeting attractive women in their 20s - the gym and bars/clubs and both options are absolutely horrific (I live in midwest suburbs 45 minutes from Chicago). The gym has a very high difficulty level in terms of just approaching period. Bars and clubs, it's easy to approach but results are insanely difficult. I don't see 22-28 year old women really anywhere else because of my location. I continue to have an extremely busy life - I go to concerts, bars, clubs, any kind of social event I can go to really but the natural dating opportunities just don't come. I try to occasionally make something happen with the cold approach but the results there are invariably horrible.


I have to snap out of this funk. I keep waiting and waiting for some kind of natural opportunity to pop up and it's not coming...meanwhile I'm creeping up on 29. I'll be 35 and with zero real dating experience before I know it. I have to snap out of this. I think online dating is my best bet, especially with how picky I am. I can filter out all the garbage (single moms, smokers, etc...).

Time to call you out and see what's really going on here....post a few pics for us to critique.

 

[bigdave17]

Time to call you out and see what's really going on here....post a few pics for us to critique.

lol

 

[skinnyguy]

lol

Move to sf and you’ll be banging so many Asian girls you’ll feel like you’re eating Chinese food every day. Trust me on this one. You’ll clean up here

 

[bigdave17]

Move to sf and you’ll be banging so many Asian girls you’ll feel like you’re eating Chinese food every day. Trust me on this one. You’ll clean up here

I don't mind Asian chicks but I prefer somene like myself- dark skinned with black hair. I would prefer Italian or Hispanic

 

[bigdave17]

Dave, quick question...

Is it not uncommon for you to approach women who somewhat recoil from you immediately for what seems like no reason at all? If so, I can tell you why right now.

I know quite a few Italian guys who have a very similar facial structure as you do. They're good looking guys, but their natural facial expression always seems to convey one of two common first impressions upon people, women in particular. When these guys don't smile, they look like they're the type to beat the sh*t out of their women. When they do smile, they convey the look of a very untrustworthy, player type. Despite the fact that they are particularly good looking, it's often lose-lose for them either way when they approach women randomly.

I think you can make a lot of progress pretty quickly if you can manage to work on a facial expression that conveys a calm and content happiness and an approach/opening that conveys taste/intelligence. If you can convey those two facets above everything else right out of the gates, I think you'll see a complete 180 in the way women react.

You already have everything else you need, IMO.

I just look that way because I dunno how to pose in pics. Yes my face is very masculine looking but I don't look threatening or angry in real life. I'm pretty happy/chill. Thankfully I have a great smile with nice white teeth so I smile a lot

thanks for the compliment

 

[bigdave17]

By the way, this issue I'm talking about happens entirely in the first 5-10 seconds of eye contact.

You're probably doing much better socially because you have the benefit of interacting with people beyond that initial time frame, whereas with random women, you don't get that same opportunity..... Their wrong impression comes instantly and that's it. You're blown out. You don't get more time. You don't get a second chance. Done.

IMO, that's what you have to fix.

I really don't think this is an issue in real life. Most of the time, I'm very happy and have a positive expression on my face

I do great making friends when I'm interacting with random people for first time

 

[Reykhel]

stop wasting your time with this guy. he doesnt want help he wants attention.

hes the aboslute worst afc narcissist ive seen in a long time.

literally all of his threads are the same

"i need help, how to?"
"i think you should work on this"
"nah, thats not it trust me"

Seems to be a few about.

Will engage you into an exchange under the pretense of seeking advice or input, then will dispute you about every last detail.

Thinking it was the barrier of a genocentric mind, but I reckon you hit the nail on the head.

 

[bigdave17]

Seems to be a few about.

Will engage you into an exchange under the pretense of seeking advice or input, then will dispute you about every last detail.

Thinking it was the barrier of a genocentric mind, but I reckon you hit the nail on the head.

one of the guys here is going to make me a profile for online dating and I'm going to try it

I'm talking to him right now

 

[bigdave17]

I think I'm going to shoot for middle eastern (but Christian), Greek, Italian, French, Spanish, maybe South American. I feel like ethnic people like that have the super strong family values like we do (I'm Armenian) and I love women with the dark hair and dark skin like myself