OK, ladies on this board, another question

[WestCoaster]

I just recently dated a gal I met online and had my first date. Looks-wise I was very impressed! Better than her photo on the net. And she was interesting, educated, and classy.

That all said -- and this appears to be universal for women -- I asked her a lot about herself but she rarely asked me anything about herself. She was really willing to talk about herself, but hardly asked me anything. Don't you think if you're gonna go on a blind date you'd ask a few questions?

Two other women I've dated this year, both of whom I really, really like, have the same problem: self-obsession and inability to take an interest in someone else's life.

Why do women converse like this? It doesn't break my heart or anything, but I just find it strange. There's this thing called the art of conversation and it's supposed to be give and take.

Ladies of the DJ board (DJettes) have at it.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Ok I'm not a lady..Buuuuut

I wanted to reply anyway.

My experience has been if a girl does not ask anything about you she's not that interested.

Now I'm not clear are these girlfirends or just girls your dating, Or should I shut the fuuck up because I'm not a chick?

 

[squirrels]

Remind me again why we suddenly started asking women for advice on this board?

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by squirrels
Remind me again why we suddenly started asking women for advice on this board?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

 

[golf299]

i can't answer your question, but i've noticed that girls do that to me all the time---don't ask questions about me, and that really bugs me. it's gotten to the point that when a girl does ask me some questions that i'm really impressed with her, probably overly impressed. sickening.

 

[Kodiac]

She could be trying to impress you.
OR
She might have NO Interest in you.

These are 2 extremes. It could be one, the other or ANYWHERE in between.

Why do women converse like this? It doesn't break my heart or anything, but I just find it strange.

Strange ? Welcome to the female mind.
Stop trying to understand women, it's not going to happen. Judge their actions, not their words.

My 2(AU) cents

 

[Player_Supreme]

You don't need to ask women for an answer to this question playboy. Let me help you out here:

1. women are all about attention. There only concern is to get attention...thats why this site calls them attention w*hor*es.

2. It's a good thing she doesn't ask questions about you in my book because the more you remain a mystery the more she will fill in the blanks with her own mind. Get it...she will be thinking and fantasizing about "you".

3. Who cares if they are selfish and self centered. It's up to us players to use this to our advantage. Play them instead of getting played by them.

4. If she is going on a date with you...use that time to get her whole life story...the more she tells the closer she will feel to "you"

5. the less she knows about you....the closer she will want to get to you. Eventually she will start wondering and start askin questions and even then keep evading her answers and making jokes about what she asks....this will drive her crazy...and once again...you will stay at the top of her little pea brain...

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
I asked her a lot about herself but she rarely asked me anything about herself. She was really willing to talk about herself, but hardly asked me anything. Don't you think if you're gonna go on a blind date you'd ask a few questions?

Two other women I've dated this year, both of whom I really, really like, have the same problem: self-obsession and inability to take an interest in someone else's life.

Why do women converse like this? It doesn't break my heart or anything, but I just find it strange. There's this thing called the art of conversation and it's supposed to be give and take.

Ladies of the DJ board (DJettes) have at it.

Well there are two possibilities here.

Either it's like Helter Skelter said and she isn't interested in you. Not that she necessarily isn't "interested" in you, she just isn't interested in getting to know anything about you. If she's that self-absored then who wants to be with that? In this case I'd say: Next.

The other possibility is she doesn't have the best social skills. Maybe she was nervous and self-conscious and trying to make a good impression (look interesting). Sometimes when people feel like that they just ramble on and on about themselves without even realizing that they haven't asked anything about the other person. Maybe she thought you would offer any information you wanted her to have, and she was letting you guide the conversation. If this is the case, you'd have to judge how bad it was and whether you are willing to deal with that sort of thing... She might do better on a second or third date as she gets more comfortable with you. Or maybe you'll decide it's just not worth the trouble.

Oh an unrelated comment: for some reason I've never liked words that had "ette" on the end of it. I mean "ette" is a suffix that is a diminutive for inanimate objects... ("kitchenette" or "novelette")... It is also used to mean an imitation or substitute ("flannelette"). Unless you are speaking French or Latin, it doesn't really make sense to use it (it would make a masculine word ending in "et" feminine). Of course I'm not gonna get into a debate about THIS on a DJ site, ha ha... But basically I prefer "Female DJ", "Don Juana" or "Attention Wh*re". Thanks

 

[WestCoaster]

Thanks Player, Donna Juana

Thanks for your posts. Both well-thought out and interesting. I don't have any problem having women respond on this board, though the AFCs have their boxers all up in a bunch.

Really liked your stuff Player. God, I must be a mystery to this woman since it was pretty much all about her! Might not be worth the trouble for the next date, though I sure enjoyed the eye-candy.

And since I took that stupid semi-celibate no-whack challenge (I'm on f'n day 6) I was probably salivating like stupid Pavlov's dog!

 

[Player_Supreme]

Really liked your stuff Player.

jyeah! your welcome

 

[WaterTiger]

LOL! West Coaster, you'd hate a date with me! I have a tendency to "interview" guys when I first meet them.
What do you do for work? What do you do for hobbies? What do you think about this political item? Where do you stand on such and such? By the end of the date I know way more about him than he knows about me.

 

[Silquee Smoove]

Re: Thanks Player, Donna Juana

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Thanks for your posts. Both well-thought out and interesting. I don't have any problem having women respond on this board, though the AFCs have their boxers all up in a bunch.

Really liked your stuff Player. God, I must be a mystery to this woman since it was pretty much all about her! Might not be worth the trouble for the next date, though I sure enjoyed the eye-candy.

And since I took that stupid semi-celibate no-whack challenge (I'm on f'n day 6) I was probably salivating like stupid Pavlov's dog!

ha..ha...ha..you're too funny westcoaster.

But seriously, f*ck her. I mean, come on life is short.

Do something physical together and you wouldn't have to hear her and her d-amn pie hole.

I knew this one hb 9 who could talk and talk and talk...enough already!!

Ladies...you have a tendency to have "diarrhea of the mouth".

I said it, I don't care if I get flamed for it, it's the truth.

 

[kyokon]

Originally posted by WestCoaster
I asked her a lot about herself

This could have something to do with the problem... if you're anything like me when I meet a someone for the first time I get a bit uncomfortable with the silent pauses that happen in a conversation, and try to fill them (in an effort to keep talk flowing), usually with a Q about the girl (in an effort to keep the topic on her). Perhaps if you just shut up a bit more she would offer a little more input... anyway the silence won't kill you and in the long run if she doesn't have the ability to take an interest in your life you wanna find out sooner rather than later, no?

 

[myfriendblu]

Its a combination of three things,

1. Her IL in you isn't that high
2. EXACTLY what malibu said, about her lack of social skills(alot of girls lack in the social aspect even more so than men)
3. She is an attention whor, and only wants to talk about herself anyways

NEXT this chik. By the way, how old are you? If your under 35, why are you even doing the internet dating thing? You shouldn't be.

 

[WestCoaster]

Enjoy the answers

First off, to address one question: I am over 35 but I don't do a lot of internet dating. When I was in grad school it was no problemo. I was dating young undergrads and they had no problem with it. (Thank you sosuave.com!) But I'm new to town so thought I'd try this method. Gotta admit, despite a little one-sided conversation, it was pretty decent. REALLY enjoyed the smile, eyes, tight bootie and nice breasts. If nothing else, I gotta little eye candy for the night.

On other stuff, not sure on the IL or not. It's hard to gauge on one date. The only thing that tweaked me a little was the one-sided conversation. My life has been pretty interesting and I don't need to gush on about it, but there are some things I have to offer. I'm amazed gals are so much like this.

Actually Water Tiger, I'd enjoy dating you. You mean you actually LIKE to ask questions? Wow! Funny stuff about being the only gal to like the three stooges. Great one. I'm still looking for the only gal who likes Rodney Dangerfield!

That's all. Thanks peeps, I enjoy the replies.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by squirrels
Remind me again why we suddenly started asking women for advice on this board?

Could not agree more!!!!!!!!

Havent we already established that women have no clue what they want!

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by WaterTiger
LOL! West Coaster, you'd hate a date with me! I have a tendency to "interview" guys when I first meet them.
What do you do for work? What do you do for hobbies? What do you think about this political item? Where do you stand on such and such? By the end of the date I know way more about him than he knows about me.

Good for you!

You need to start teach some classes, seminars and pep rallys for the females who don't know how far this information will get them.

You must be a "seasoned" woman!

 

[jnallen]

WestCoaster

II Things

1) Per DOC LOVE

"Dont listen to the enemy. Listen to me."

2) There are chicks out here that do take interest in what you have to sayor think. When they have high IL.

Also it could be these chicks are just self centered B's. There are lots of others.