Ok I am the new guy and I need some help...

[TraineeDJ]

What is the deal? I am the new guy here on the block and I would like some help with my social life. I am 26 and I feel that life has [assed me by up until now. I have come to realize that I have missed out on some serious moments in life and I do not want to forego having some real fun before I reach an age when I can't you know.

Here are some figures for you all to use.

1. 26 years old
2. Only one girlfriend ever...5 years ago.
(haven't been out with anyone since her)
3. Been with 3 women sexually, all persued me
4. Never dated ever....
5. Couldn't walk up to a woman if my life depended on it
6. Not alot of friends
7. Feel I missed out on some fun in college and HS by not doing anything...didn't go to HS proms
8. Feel it is time for some serious help with my soicial skills
9. Don't go out at all, and have completely thrown myself into my career as socially uhealthy as that is...
10. Self confidence is completely in the toilet...

Ok guys let me have it...what do I need to do?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Live.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Live.

live like you were dying !

 

[insomniac]

First of all, don't feel like you've missed out and the good days are over. You're still young. I wasn't much different from you five years ago.

One thing that has helped my social life is joining clubs/organizations. I joined one activity club a few years ago. At first, I was mostly a wallflower and didn't interact with anyone, but I stuck around, made friends, and eventually became one of the officers. So, now everyone knows who I am, have a lot of good friends, several of us hang-out together, and I've dated a few women I met there too.

So, find something you love to do, and then find others who do also (hopefully you live in a large enough community to do this). You can feel like an outsider at first, but if you make an effort to interact you can make a lot of friends.

Besides that, if you're not working out already, then start. It will make you look better, make you feel better, and increase your confidence.

These may sound like simple answers, but it worked for me. You just have to put yourself out there.

 

[Hybrid2]

I havent come here in a long time,but i did learn a few things and it did help with my confidence a little.
But i'm still single.
I'm about in the same situation.


1. 26 years old
just turned 26,but i fell like my mental age is a bit lower.Dont want to grow up or something.

2. Only one girlfriend ever...5 years ago.
(haven't been out with anyone since her)
Never had a girfriend.

3. Been with 3 women sexually, all persued me
Never even kiss a woman.Do cyber sex count?

4. Never dated ever....
I asked 2 women out(not at the same time).
First said she did'nt have time to even think about dating.Wich think is true,she was all work,work,work.and moved out of the country 2 month later.
Second woman.run a few time into her,5 years ago,always regretted not asking her out then.run into her resently.finaly ask her out.She had a boyfriend.At leas she wont hunt my mind anymore.
At least they never just said no and/or laugh at me.

5. Couldn't walk up to a woman if my life depended on it
probably if my life depended on it.

6. Not alot of friends
no friends,only coworkers and there's no help.most of them are in the same trouble. (this actualy make me fell better about myself. :-/)

7. Feel I missed out on some fun in college and HS by not doing anything...didn't go to HS proms
never went to college.no comments on HS.

8. Feel it is time for some serious help with my soicial skills
Same.I have ne social skills.mostly do to my lack of conversation skills.IMO

9. Don't go out at all, and have completely thrown myself into my career as socially uhealthy as that is...
Cant go out.small twon with few place to go,no car(yet),and working at 4 or 5 AM make it realy hard to go out.

10. Self confidence is completely in the toilet...
sometime,but then realyse that life suck sometime and it's not me.

on of my big problem is probably my look.I have a hard time shoping for clothes and i'm average looking.
Ok i cant smile.my lower jaw dont fit with the top and my mouth is to small.

WHY GOD?WHY?

Any good advise?

 

[leoncour]

Hybrid, I am exactly like you in most ways....man I feel as if I have miissed out on life and am so behind my peers....I am posting in the mature mans forum but I have less sexual experience than most high schoolers. I feel broken and it scares me to say this, asexual.

 

[allan976]

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Trainee,

Or should I make that trainees? Welcome to the club. See the link in the upper right hand corner which reads The DJ Bible? Click on it and read. My favorites are (BC) boot camp and (WMS) weapons of mass seduction. WMS is a terrific read, mixing in a bit of physiology, evolutionary research, existentialism and locker room shtick in a read which is tough to put down.

After reading, start posting in boot camp for the mature man thread; RJ and yours truly are currently bumping the thread forward. Boot Camp is just that; it is damm hard work--but it's a blast to to be able to overcome your fears, trust me.

Good luck.

Allan

 

[ogre]

gee...

you sound just like me when I was about that age. unfortunately back then there was no internet forum. so welcome aboard. I'm 40 and just now learning how to date, at least I hope so. when I was in my twenties I buried my energy into career and other irrelevant stuff. but really I was procrastinating from facing the issue of having to learn to date due to my own deep-seated sexual shame and guilt.

first things first. get rid of sexual shame and guilt and learn to be proud to have a penis.

oh, and be prepared to get your heart stomped on. A lot. you will learn to meet women, but you will screw things up a lot and get dumped a lot. it's part of the learning process. come back to the forum so we can discuss each case so you can learn and improve.

study the DJ bible and this forum. a lot. then go out go out there and meet some babes and post your field reports.

you're only 26. you have at least 25 years of bangin' ahead of you. Me, maybe 10 if I can get my shyt straight. you are so lucky.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by TraineeDJ
What is the deal? I am the new guy here on the block and I would like some help with my social life.
Ok guys let me have it...what do I need to do?

Besides reading ideally you need some additional confidence\support.

I'll digress a bit: I noticed that support group, friends with common interest can boost you confidence a lot, at least temporarily. Look at ... women, yes, women: they flock together, they chat about "relationships" all the time. Do guys do anything like that? NO! Why not? We do here, right now.. so if you can find freinds who are intered in PU and DJ stuff, it would just great to discuss things with them, it automatically will give you a good start. Another example of team work: guys who sell stuff to people they meet everywhere...they talk to people, get their phone numbers later call them and try to seel them something, or sign up them for something...
Do you think those salesmen have som decent confidence? Probably they do. But they usually _get together_ and make those phone calls to people _together_. Why? Because it is easier to do when you feel support of other guys like you.

 

[leoncour]

.

 

[Chrispy]

You will be happy you found this site then. You're pretty young so you have lots of time to change.

My advice:
Read the tips section.
Read stuff from Pook and a number of other users.
Take things one idea at a time.
Practice and get out there!
Don't take the ideas you read literally - it's trial and error and everyone is different.