Office or other well known area

wind2sail

Don Juan
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Hi fellow women heart-hunters,

first I must say, this is a truly honest site and I'd like to thank for and appreciate all the others' experiences they've shared w us.

In my personal development on the way of the DJ I have always had a complete twist of confidence and therefore my behavior in two different settings.

When asking a girl nonchalantly for a date in some unknown, foreign place, town or even a foreign country, all goes fine and I'm happy with my skills.

However when I want to behave the same way in a place like my office, bar I visit often, theatre, or any other social gathering place, where people know me or I simply happen to meet friends often, I'm completely stuck. The threat of being rejected and having to meet w the respective girl again every second day, or just being seen by some of my friends being bounced away takes all my courage away.

This urges me to undergo weird hunts, like going to another city and sometimes even country when I'm in need of a new relationship.

I'm living in a 1mio+ city, but believe it or not, the odds of being seen or caught in the act by some friends is due to my bad luck at least 50%, really! I'm definitely not a celebrity :D but I always happen to meet someone who knows me.

In the office, where I'm spending more and more time now, it's even worse, the risk of gossip (if rejected) simply blows all my gutts away :-( However when I'm out of the city I'm like a DJ freshly released from prison, all problems gone.

Can I be helpded?
 

Falcon Eye

Don Juan
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wind2sail,

A couple of things of note. First of all, who cares what anyone else thinks including the woman that you're pursuing? You're a man and you should be able to live your life as you wish, pursue any available woman that you wish and not worry about gossip or about what others may think. That's all part of taking control, showing confidence, and being a man. Sometimes, it's just high risk high reward. Sometimes you just gotta do it.

In the work place, my advice is avoid pursuing woman at all times. So many things can go wrong and the ultimate consequences could be your job, especially if you are in a position to influence her career or job in any way. There are just too many problems associated with pursuing co-workers and there are too many other options to make the effort worthwhile.

Finally, and I think many people will agree, when you meet a woman in a public place such as a bar, a wedding, or house party, it's advisable to not ask for a date, but, rather ask her for a her home phone number. Tell, her something to the effect that that you'd like to talk to her and again and that you'd like her number; if she's interested she happily give it to you. If not, then atleast you know and it won't be a big deal.

Don't worry about what others think.
 

wind2sail

Don Juan
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I wrote "ask for a date" more or less to simplify it. Of course, I usually use the # and call-back method.

You're right in the don't care what others think advice. However I just can't manage to apply it in real-life situations. Due to my job at movie industry I sometimes work from dusk till dawn, in distant locations, meeting some cool and relaxed chicks and we don't have strict harassment law in there. Others would say a DJs paradise.

Yet I've cursed myself with this impose: "not to hunt while at work" And even out of work I still have this impose positively distracting me from any real activity in the familiar places. Like if I could spoil my image or what. Like if I had an unconscious political career pursuit program imprinted in my mind ;) And it's been so since my 18.

Got to get over it!
 
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