Observation about EX's....

[NewMan]

Why do they want to remain friends?

Why do they want to keep in touch?

Why does my ex add me to her IM list?

why O why O why?

They've moved on, got another guy - living with another guy - yet they still want to keep in touch with you.

Wanting to know how it's going. What's going on. What I'm up to....

3 weeks don't go by without an IM...

and it's always...

"I was at XYZ and was thinking about you..."


It's really no longer bothers me - but I'd really like to understand their thought process.

 

[Ricky]

My ex wants to get back with me. She broke up with me and I told her I had went out with a new girl (who I continue to date now).

She wants me back more than ever.

 

[cave dweller]

ok

If you work it right and get your game plan together you will make your ex a 'f*ck buddy'.

ei......... See her once in awhile for 'rodeo'.

cave dweller

 

[cave dweller]

ie

ie not ei

)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Typically women get some sort of gratification the more friends she has. Now when she can stay friends with her ex, someone she "supposedly" couldn't get along with, she gains social proof that she's 'OK.' That there can't be anything wrong with her since her ex still likes her.

My current ex is attempting this play with me, I don't have the time of day for that crap. I had another ex literally go off her rocker because she couldn't even catch up with me even though we lived in the same apartment building, right down the hall from her. Now that was both fun and sad to watch.

 

[Electraglide]

My most recent ex pulls the same thing. I believe it's a attention or validation thing. Once in awhile I'll pick up the phone and BS a few minutes nothing more. Keeping it lite.
And another observation is while she initiated the break-up she still seems to get jealous of girls that I might take out or just hang with. Yet the prospect of sex is totally out of the question. What's up with that? Women are such illogical creatures.
And I agree with Cave dweller, play your cards right and if it wasn't a bad break-up the booty call thing is possible. I have that going on with a previous Ex-GF. She lives out of state now but travels back to town for bussiness every coulpe of weeks or so and stay's at my place. Great sex and then she leaves town for a few weeks

 

[cave dweller]

call

Hey,

Don't call or IM her.

Don't let her know what you are doing or who you are seeing.

Break off all contact.

If you build a strong, solid 'game plan' and play her right, she will be your 'booty call' girl.

cave dweller

 

[NewMan]

She's out of state.

Anyway - I'd rather not go down that path.

I've learn't my lesson.

She's an ex - keep it that way.

 

[Genghis Juan]

I think part of it is competition too. She wants to check up on you to see if you hooked up with another girl that the ex might perceive as an upgrade on her. I have two ex's and I have thoroughly burned the bridge with both of them. I don't want to know who's pounding them and I don't give a rat's ass anymore what is going on in their lives. Eventually I think we all learn to do that.

New Man - just block her # and IM's.

1 - She won't F with your head anymore.
2 - She'll be messed up and start going a little psycho at the fact that you don't want anything to do with her anymore.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
I think part of it is competition too. She wants to check up on you to see if you hooked up with another girl that the ex might perceive as an upgrade on her. I have two ex's and I have thoroughly burned the bridge with both of them. I don't want to know who's pounding them and I don't give a rat's ass anymore what is going on in their lives. Eventually I think we all learn to do that.

New Man - just block her # and IM's.

1 - She won't F with your head anymore.
2 - She'll be messed up and start going a little psycho at the fact that you don't want anything to do with her anymore.

Good advice.

 

[Slickster]

What I have noticed from my many ex's is that the ones who stay in touch the most are the ones with lowest self esteems.

I've stayed in touch with most of my ex's over the years. The ones who have their shyt together are the ones that I rarely hear from.

The ones who had low self esteem always seem to call looking for some form of affirmation. It usually happens when they get dumped by some other guy or have something stressfull going on in their lives.

I wouldn't even think about it for a minute. Its all just a big quest for attention.

Unless you enjoy being her tool then ignore her.

 

[cave dweller]

contact

Hey,

Cut her off. (stop all contact)
Find someone new.
In six months or a year she will call.
Then it will be your choice if you want to invite her over for a 'booty call' or tell her to take a hike.
I am going through the same d*mn thing right now.

cave dweller

 

[NewMan]

Already done.

Got a younger model...

It's funny - as her best friend has been partying with my new girl and I (and my friends) the last couple of weeks...

I love the fact that that HAS TO get to her...

 

[disciple]

After most of my relationships, I tend to keep it moving and focus on the present chicks rather than worry about some past chick.

 

[ShortTimer]

They want to know if they dumped the wrong guy. They want to know if their ex ends up being president. Because if he does they may try and get him back.

 

[Desdinova]

Why do they want to remain friends?

Because they (A) don't want to hurt your feelings, or (B) enjoy having you as their emotional tampon

Why do they want to keep in touch?

See above answer

Why does my ex add me to her IM list?

See above answer

They've moved on, got another guy - living with another guy - yet they still want to keep in touch with you.

Women have an incredibly hard time saying goodbye. Tell any woman you're ending a relationship with "Goodbye" and watch them panic. Women will drag out the end of a relationship as long as they possibly can.

"I was at XYZ and was thinking about you..."

"While you were with XYZ, I was getting by c0ck sucked by your friend Amy. Now quit contacting me."

 

[Maverick001]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
They want to know if they dumped the wrong guy. They want to know if their ex ends up being president. Because if he does they may try and get him back.

I think that this is exactly it. That's why they can't stand if you've ended up with someone who's more attractive, etc.

If you think guys are competitive, watch how women fuss and preen at a club. They're doing it more for the other women than the guys.

 

[Desdinova]

If you think guys are competitive, watch how women fuss and preen at a club. They're doing it more for the other women than the guys.

Very true. How many times have you heard a guy say, "Look at him! He really shouldn't wear those pants!"

 

[cave dweller]

the call

Hey,

Some ex's will give you a call in a year or two after it has ended.

They are alone and think maybe the two of you can get back together.

Some are only calling for a 'one night stand', because, they are horny and alone.

Don't forget...........

Here is a good opportunity to make her a 'fvck buddy'.

my 2 cents

Donald

 

[cave dweller]

not

I am the cave dweller, not Donald.....

oops...............