Not what I'm used to. Could it work?

[tryst type]

Started talking to this 21 year old girl. She's only felt in love once then had her heart broken by the guy.
Other than that she's been all about casual dating and numerous hook ups.

She's been living that wild phase since that guy of over two years.

We started talking and she's told me I make her feel innocent and regret most of her history.

She tells me deep down she just wants to be loved and hasn't had it.

My question is, would a girl like that who's lived that numerous partners phase primarily for sex, appreciate a relationship or feel the urge to resort to her wild ways resulting in unfaithfulness?

I'm used to being with relationship girls who turn into casual encounter girls, so this is puzzling for me.

 

[darkstarrr]

I'm used to being with relationship girls who turn into casual encounter girls, so this is puzzling for me.

Funny because each and every serious relationship of mine has ended where the girl turned into a casual encounter girl.

If I were you I would be very careful with her and make her jump through a couple hoops. Learn a little more about her before you spend too much time with her and get emotionally attached.

No matter what she did wrong with guys before her, if she tells you something that you would not approve of you need to be clear that it is not acceptable behavior with you.

Other than that, not much else to say. See where it goes. Don't rush into anything serious too quickly because at that age these days with the way society is shaping people's minds they can come as fast as they can go.

Good luck and try not to think too much about it because that is a trap we can do to ourselves.

 

[tryst type]

Part of me feels intimidated by all her sexual experiences by so many guys. I've only been with 3 girls in long relationships and she's had more than double that.

I know I should just be confident in myself but is there anything thatd help me get over this thoughts?

 

[jophil28]

My question is, would a girl like that who's lived that numerous partners phase primarily for sex, appreciate a relationship or feel the urge to resort to her wild ways resulting in unfaithfulness?

Perhaps you might answer your own question by considering the probability that she had anonymous sex with "numerous" guys to avoid another "attachment". In other words she was " fukking instead of feeling " .
That is a buffer against feared or anticipated rejection, following her painful breakup with her LTR.

She is not really a good candidate for a relationship right now..

 

[Colossus]

She is not really a good candidate for a relationship right now..

Agreed. By her telling you that you make her feel 'innocent', that implies some level of guilt on her part for her actions. If she is admittedly feeling guilty about her recent sexual past, there is a good chance she used the avenue of sex to escape or avoid any possible rejections, while still getting a 'fix' of human closeness. That doesnt make her a bad person, but it does make her an unstable canidate for a relationship.

With women, as in science, you have to look at the evidence. A girl may say she loves and respects you, but where is the evidence? It will be in her behavior towards you. Same with this girl---you have to look at her recent history, in this case her admitted 'wild phase', and make your best judgment. Here is the evidence you have:

-21 year-old girl
-In the midst of a wild phase (meaning casual sex)
-Feels guilty about her sleeping around
-Really hurt by a past breakup
-Wants a hero to love her and negate her recent indiscretions

All signs point to the conclusion this is not the right time, or the right girl.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Tryst Type,


Your screen name, when compared to your supposed stance on long term dating, is a bit "ironic" isn't it? Or did you mean for it to be interpreted that way? lol

But I digress...

So let's meet in the War Room briefly and discuss this:

Part of me feels intimidated by all her sexual experiences by so many guys. I've only been with 3 girls in long relationships and she's had more than double that.

I know I should just be confident in myself but is there anything thatd help me get over this thoughts?

I've found that despite what you will hear repetitiously posted on most seduction message boards, and even forums like this one, that men often sell themselves short when it comes to assessing their true Female Engagement capabilities.

Sure, there is a lot to be said for having had sexual experiences with many dfferent women------and the pros to having such experience is obvious. So we don't even have to go into them again here. Instead, let's look at all the possible pros that can come from man having LIMITED experience with many women---but A LOT of experience with EACH woman.

Now, make no mistake. I am NOT championing the cause of ignorance here, but rather, I am extolling the virtues of a man having a more intimate knowledge of the female psyche as the result of him having taken the time to "specialize" in getting to know a smaller, more select, group of them.

Men, such as yourself, Tryst, have actually managed to accomplish MANY things that the much celebrated, and over-hyped "Frequent-Random-Chick Fukkers" probably have NOT:

Here are three possible BENEFITS that men gain from being "able" to sustain a Long Term Relationshp:

1. YOU can actually keep a girl interested in you beyond a one night stand or short-term relationship.

2. YOU have more qualities going for you other than just your ability to throw your Dikk like a javelin. The women you've been in LTR with obviously saw you as having value that lasted long after they had STOPPED orgasming.

3. YOU have a curiosity, a willingness, and a certain level of empathy for women that they pick up on----and that's what caused them to be able to connect with you in such a way that they WANTED to be "officially and publicly" attached to you.

Not many men in this day and age of disposable dikks and promiscuous pusssy know the first thing about what it takes to adequately survive "as a MAN" in the context of a long term relationship---let alone "thrive".

Sure, not that being in relationships in general is any better than not being in relationships, but the point I'm trying to make here is that you should NEVER underestimate the knowledge, the attitudes, or the skills you've honed just by nature of actually having been in relationships.

There's a goal medal for distance runners as well as sprinters in these Relationship Olympic Games, my friend.

So don't fukking forget that!

It's better to be the type of guy who CAN form a relationship with a woman if he wants to, as opposed to being like a lot of people (men OR WOMEN) who CAN'T---even if they wanted to.

So, when you say YOU feel intimidated by some little chick who's been with a lot of guys---you need to realize that you're thinking yourself into a mind-frame trap. STOP transferring your perspective over to hers to such an extent where you're starting to "ONLY" look at yourself and who you are through HER eyes.

THIS woman is NOT the one who should be pedestalized in this scenaro...YOU are.

Why do I say this?

Well, stop for a moment and realize just how easy it is for the average woman, and especially the ABOVE average woman, to get dates, money, and SEX on demand. All they have to do is just "go out in public" and they have men (especially the LESSER men) just constantly throwing themselves at her. So don't think of her as something special because she's fukked a lot of guys and you've fukked a lot fewer girls.

All most women need to get a man is just to be willing. But we, as men-----as fukking SOLDIERS..."we" have to be ABLE.

Recognize that it takes no REAL skill to fukk, but it takes a REAL man to be able to keep a relationship going "in between" the orgasms and ejaculations.

Ask yourself:

Why do you think it is that SHE can't keep guys interested in HER after they've fukked her?

What is it about the kind of guys she's attracted to that makes HER keep picking the same kind of dudes in order to keep having the same kinds of nothing-assed relationships?

And MOST IMPORTANTLY, what is it about YOU that makes you think that a woman with this kind of background is someone that you should be mentally (and maybe even emotionally) so concerned with how SHE may view YOU?

Recognize something else here, soldier:

You have accomplished more in the areas of honoring your commitments, honoring your BODY, and honoring YOURSELF, than she has at this present moment in each of your lives.

This woman is the one that should be somewhere posting on message boards, asking her friends for advice, and worrying like hell about what she has to do to attract, keep, and maintain the interest of a man like YOU.

Look in the mirror, Tryst. And you will see the most important person in YOUR world staring right back at you. Everybody else you will see when you turn away from that mirror is either just a "guest star"----or someone who only may just be making a "cameo" appearance in your life.

So from here on out, only allow yourself to become "intimidated" by the idea that YOU won't sieze every opportunity today to be an overall better man tomorrow.

Everything else is just a subconscious, subtle, and insidious form of self-sabotage.


Soldier on.

 

[speed dawg]

Victory Unlimited = Best Poster in SoSuave History.

That is all.

 

[Mr. Me]

She's 21. That means she's still a kid.

She likes sex and has had it often.

Sounds like she respects what you may think of her, and she doesn't want you to think of her as a slut. So she condemns her history in front of you.

But she may be better suited as a casual fling, because her nature is still the same. And if she represses herself into being the "good girl" for you, she may resent that down the road.

So I'd say, don't aim for a long term thing with her, and don't treat her like she's a born again virgin.

 

[thedeparted]

Perhaps you might answer your own question by considering the probability that she had anonymous sex with "numerous" guys to avoid another "attachment". In other words she was " fukking instead of feeling " .
That is a buffer against feared or anticipated rejection, following her painful breakup with her LTR.

She is not really a good candidate for a relationship right now..

Nailed it. Put another way, you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear, nor a steady girlfriend from a sleep-around slvt. She could be good for practice, though. [insert icon of two smilies fvcking]

 

[sodbuster]

Usually party girls wait until 30-40 before looking for relationships. Not sure yours is going to settle down yet.

 

[tryst type]

Great feedback guys especially Victory Unlimited.

I guess the best way to go about this is to use my best judgement. The things that have me banking on the possibility of her being over the casual sex phase is things she says like she's tired of games, dating guys for a little bit to only realize there's no emotional connection between them etc, the one thing she keeps mentioning is the many similarities we share in terms of interests.
She knows my lifestyle is different than hers and as many of you have pointed out she's starting to regret her past (which she attributes to me, for whatever reason)

Its all up in the air anyway, I'm not investing much but curiousity right now.

 

[Mr. Me]

To her, the grass is greener on the other side. But I think after a while on the new lawn, she'll see the past grass as greener.

When I hear a woman say she's "tired of the games", it makes me think "you're attracted to players", "you get way involved emotionally too fast, too soon", "maybe you smother guys and make them run", "maybe you make yourself too available for hitting and quitting". IOW, she's mostly responsible for her own lack of satisfaction. But people rarely see their prints in their situations and it's easier to see it as the fault of others outside yourself and think that's what has to change. Then in a new situation, she'll still be the same person, contributing to her own dissatisfaction again.

Here's a rule about women: they say they want this or that, but it turns out, after some time, it's the very thing that repels them, which is why I'm wary of ever giving a woman what she asks for. They want an ambitious guy, later on, they complain he's a workaholic. They like that he's irreverent, but after some time, they complain that everything's a joke to him. They like that he's a can-do, take-charge guy, but after some time, they allege he's a control freak. It's the reason guys go from being "the man I want to spend the rest of my life with" to "I don't know what I ever saw in that assh@le." Today she tells you she's tired of the casualness of it all, maybe down the road you'll hear her complaining she feels trapped like she's a prisoner.

 

[Chrispy]

Here's a rule about women: they say they want this or that, but it turns out, after some time, it's the very thing that repels them, which is why I'm wary of ever giving a woman what she asks for. They want an ambitious guy, later on, they complain he's a workaholic. They like that he's irreverent, but after some time, they complain that everything's a joke to him. They like that he's a can-do, take-charge guy, but after some time, they allege he's a control freak. It's the reason guys go from being "the man I want to spend the rest of my life with" to "I don't know what I ever saw in that assh@le." Today she tells you she's tired of the casualness of it all, maybe down the road you'll hear her complaining she feels trapped like she's a prisoner.

This is a very good point. No wonder we guys have to tune out women. If you are dealing with this all the time with one woman what is there to do? Move on?

 

[jophil28]

Here's a rule about women: they say they want this or that, but it turns out, after some time, it's the very thing that repels them, which is why I'm wary of ever giving a woman what she asks for. They want an ambitious guy, later on, they complain he's a workaholic. They like that he's irreverent, but after some time, they complain that everything's a joke to him. They like that he's a can-do, take-charge guy, but after some time, they allege he's a control freak.
.

True !
I had a woman a few years ago who told me in the first month that she was attracted to me and very impressed because " You just stepped up and TOOK me, it was your boldness and self confidence.. "
Six months later she was whining to MY friends that I was " controlling and possessive.."

Women who pull this shyte are fuking scatter brained idiots who are unfit to be dating ...they are wasting men's time and energy..
Their likes and dislikes swirl and tumble according to the changing winds and tides of their emotions.
The scariest thing is to consider that they are likely to become mothers and pass on this lunacy to their daughters.