To answer questions before hand:
Yes, I am insane.
Yes, I know there are red flags.
Lets start that I met this wonderful person on pof. Dates went well the first couple of weeks we hung out almost 3-5x a week. A little over board, just so much chemistry (still is), and a magnetic pull toward each other. Hard to explain that I never experience this in almost 32 years of my life. (Birthday next month)
We got to about 12 dates with no sex and we did. She freaked out in the beginning of it, and ended it prematurely.. Saying stuff Just by having sex i think it ruined us.... and then she went on about her bad experiences with dating and men in general...
things went a little weird and she started to pull back. Then she ended it one day...
she messaged me a couple times through out the 3 week break. I only responded to her text messages. I accepted the break up when it ended. Eventually she reached out again and i asked her out. She said she will get back to me and never did. I said, look I want someone in my life that is not a flake. You messaged me because obviously you still care. But I know my own worth and I am not going to put up with this any longer. I don't want these types of people in my life. She called me right away and told me she doesnt want to lose me and i am one of the greatest guys she ever met. (most guys just want to get down her pants, i treat her with respect, loves our chemistry) so things went on its merry way... About a week or two later, I break if off because I felt like I wanted something more. Week later I reached out again and we go back on.... --- at this point my friends say whats wrong with you. I ask myself that same question.
things go well, and we started to have sex. Sex was good. We were drunk one night and she asked me to finish inside. I said ok. Couple days later she asked if we were irresponsible over the weekend. I said ill pick up plan b and drop it off after work. She takes it... then she pulls away and breaks it off....
two week later she comes back and asks me to hang out... we hang out that weekend. She asked me to be her bf. I said yes after a long discussion and things were good.
4 days later she ends it saying she wants to be with someone else. I find out later that weekend from her, its a coworker (that she dated a year ago), who doesnt want to be with her and she wants to be with him. I accepted and went on my own way.
Week later to the day she ends up asking me to meet up that weekend. I asked her why she asked me out. She wanted to keep it status quo, and i said no i want more.... and it wont work out... you got me down here for a drink so lets enjoy our company now and part ways after.
She basically kept me hostage that weekend. Her brother stopped by where we were, and i met her brother. Then we went into the city and met her friend there. Her friend loved me. On the way home (both hammered) she asked me to stay the night. So I did. We have sex next morning. I go home while she was waiting for her family to come into town.
She talked to me that day tearing up my phone. Where was i, started calling me sunshine as a pet name (still does to current moment). her sister (who i spoke with the previous night, she tossed the phone and said talk to sarah.) said he seems like a good guy, and she she said he is a great guy and told me.. and then asked me to stay the night...
so next day we part ways, and i reiterated the fact of sat nights convo. Which led to a fight.... and she stopped talking. We talked xmas day and we patched things up..
She told me she didnt like my ultimatums bc they lead to fights. That i get upset when i dont get my own way. She wants me in her life and she is not ready to date just yet.
I told her, I tried to break things off and we keep coming back to each other. I want her in my life, and if she will be patient with me i promise she wont receive any ultimatums. we left off on a good note.
I decided im part of the problem. I am forcing the relationship, then rather letting it run its course. I do give ultimatums, which they never work and wrong. I am very impatient. I picked up a book on how to be better with patience. I decided at this point, I need to tone it down. I decided to stop texting her and asking her to hang out. Let her come to me, and I will communicate back. Since I did that, she messages me every day. Since the night in the city with her friend (she started to open up more to me).
-Learned her ex was abusive and hit her in the face
-Coworker is a major douchebag
-not dating anyone (not active on dating sites)
-not having sex with anyone but me.
We hung out nye after midnight, she told me at midnight that she wants to be more part of my life. She wished she got to spend it with me. I went over that night, we hung out, we had sex... then parted ways in the morning. This weekend I went over there helped her with an issue at her apartment, we hung out all night watched tv had sex.
- we don't use protection
- we dint do any form of birth control -stupid i know
after sex on nye - she asked what would i do if i got pregnant. never brought up plan b or we should do that.. asked me to finish inside again on sat night.. i did both times.
she asked me to go to a play with her (date to be determined) in the future 3-4 weeks from now. Just left it next time we meet up and set a date.
she was never mean to me. other than the yo yo crap.
I don't know if she likes me, or emotional pillow? i think i am over thinking things, and not seeing the clear as day indicators she likes me.
we have talked about how many children we want
would i move to the shore with her..
finances
i know she has a lot of baggage. I love this woman. I think the key is being patient. I am not some ugly guy that cannot get a date with a good looking woman. I have dated a lot more women hotter than this girl. But when I am with her, I feel she is the one... I can feel like i actually do live with her..
she does try to be more encouraging with me.. and i do the same..
i just dont know what other people would do in my situation..
Yes, I am insane.
Yes, I know there are red flags.
Lets start that I met this wonderful person on pof. Dates went well the first couple of weeks we hung out almost 3-5x a week. A little over board, just so much chemistry (still is), and a magnetic pull toward each other. Hard to explain that I never experience this in almost 32 years of my life. (Birthday next month)
We got to about 12 dates with no sex and we did. She freaked out in the beginning of it, and ended it prematurely.. Saying stuff Just by having sex i think it ruined us.... and then she went on about her bad experiences with dating and men in general...
things went a little weird and she started to pull back. Then she ended it one day...
she messaged me a couple times through out the 3 week break. I only responded to her text messages. I accepted the break up when it ended. Eventually she reached out again and i asked her out. She said she will get back to me and never did. I said, look I want someone in my life that is not a flake. You messaged me because obviously you still care. But I know my own worth and I am not going to put up with this any longer. I don't want these types of people in my life. She called me right away and told me she doesnt want to lose me and i am one of the greatest guys she ever met. (most guys just want to get down her pants, i treat her with respect, loves our chemistry) so things went on its merry way... About a week or two later, I break if off because I felt like I wanted something more. Week later I reached out again and we go back on.... --- at this point my friends say whats wrong with you. I ask myself that same question.
things go well, and we started to have sex. Sex was good. We were drunk one night and she asked me to finish inside. I said ok. Couple days later she asked if we were irresponsible over the weekend. I said ill pick up plan b and drop it off after work. She takes it... then she pulls away and breaks it off....
two week later she comes back and asks me to hang out... we hang out that weekend. She asked me to be her bf. I said yes after a long discussion and things were good.
4 days later she ends it saying she wants to be with someone else. I find out later that weekend from her, its a coworker (that she dated a year ago), who doesnt want to be with her and she wants to be with him. I accepted and went on my own way.
Week later to the day she ends up asking me to meet up that weekend. I asked her why she asked me out. She wanted to keep it status quo, and i said no i want more.... and it wont work out... you got me down here for a drink so lets enjoy our company now and part ways after.
She basically kept me hostage that weekend. Her brother stopped by where we were, and i met her brother. Then we went into the city and met her friend there. Her friend loved me. On the way home (both hammered) she asked me to stay the night. So I did. We have sex next morning. I go home while she was waiting for her family to come into town.
She talked to me that day tearing up my phone. Where was i, started calling me sunshine as a pet name (still does to current moment). her sister (who i spoke with the previous night, she tossed the phone and said talk to sarah.) said he seems like a good guy, and she she said he is a great guy and told me.. and then asked me to stay the night...
so next day we part ways, and i reiterated the fact of sat nights convo. Which led to a fight.... and she stopped talking. We talked xmas day and we patched things up..
She told me she didnt like my ultimatums bc they lead to fights. That i get upset when i dont get my own way. She wants me in her life and she is not ready to date just yet.
I told her, I tried to break things off and we keep coming back to each other. I want her in my life, and if she will be patient with me i promise she wont receive any ultimatums. we left off on a good note.
I decided im part of the problem. I am forcing the relationship, then rather letting it run its course. I do give ultimatums, which they never work and wrong. I am very impatient. I picked up a book on how to be better with patience. I decided at this point, I need to tone it down. I decided to stop texting her and asking her to hang out. Let her come to me, and I will communicate back. Since I did that, she messages me every day. Since the night in the city with her friend (she started to open up more to me).
-Learned her ex was abusive and hit her in the face
-Coworker is a major douchebag
-not dating anyone (not active on dating sites)
-not having sex with anyone but me.
We hung out nye after midnight, she told me at midnight that she wants to be more part of my life. She wished she got to spend it with me. I went over that night, we hung out, we had sex... then parted ways in the morning. This weekend I went over there helped her with an issue at her apartment, we hung out all night watched tv had sex.
- we don't use protection
- we dint do any form of birth control -stupid i know
after sex on nye - she asked what would i do if i got pregnant. never brought up plan b or we should do that.. asked me to finish inside again on sat night.. i did both times.
she asked me to go to a play with her (date to be determined) in the future 3-4 weeks from now. Just left it next time we meet up and set a date.
she was never mean to me. other than the yo yo crap.
I don't know if she likes me, or emotional pillow? i think i am over thinking things, and not seeing the clear as day indicators she likes me.
we have talked about how many children we want
would i move to the shore with her..
finances
i know she has a lot of baggage. I love this woman. I think the key is being patient. I am not some ugly guy that cannot get a date with a good looking woman. I have dated a lot more women hotter than this girl. But when I am with her, I feel she is the one... I can feel like i actually do live with her..
she does try to be more encouraging with me.. and i do the same..
i just dont know what other people would do in my situation..
