Not Sure if I Handled this Right

[DAardwolf]

Quick background: Four months ago, had a wake-up call. Got my sh!t together, stopped drinking, started exercising, negotiated a sweet compensation package at work, bought a new car, bought new clothes, started shaving/showering daily, NC with all my female "friends" because I was a hopeless orbiter.

I received a group invite from the lady I was orbiting for years (I was basically her surrogate husband in some respects) and at first thought it would be stupid of me to go. I don't want to be the same lame-@ss guy I was four months ago.

However, she has a lot of really hot friends, three of which I knew would be in the group outing to a nightclub.

My interaction with this group was totally different tonight than in the past. For one thing, the ladies where touching me all night where in the past the most I'd get was a friendly good-bye hug. Also, the woman who invited me, who never showed any interest in me other than being her emotional tampon kept following me, touching me, making lots of eye contact, etc.

I didn't fall for it. I knew she wanted her favorite beta back.

However, one lady in which I was extremely interested tonight I had never been interested in before. Six months ago she'd be a 5 on a good day. She lost weight, started working out, got her teeth fixed, hair done up, contacts... you get the picture. She was easily an 8.5 tonight.

We danced, flirted, touched (I think I touched every part of her body except her breasts and nether-region), there was a lot of eye contact. I thought for sure we'd be hooking up tonight after she dropped off her friend.

Here's where I'm not sure I did things right: Just before we were about to leave, she said she wanted to say goodbye to the DJ. I waited awkwardly with her friend while she was say her farewell.

After 15 minutes, I looked at her friend, told her I was bored and was leaving, asked the friend to say goodbye for me, and walked out. No text, no phone call, I just left and have no intention of contacting her.

My thoughts: She was either playing a waiting game with me or was flirting with the DJ. Fvck that. If her interest level in me is high enough, she'll contact me but I'm not contacting her. At least, not for a while.

But now I'm having second thoughts about how I handled it. I'm not sure if I would have been screwing her silly right now if I had waited or if she was just playing games.

In any case, I have a few more plates spinning so it's not at all a loss if I totally blew it with her.

But I really wanted to fvck her.

Should I have waited? Maybe tracked her down? Or did I do the right thing? Thoughts?

 

[dub_g]

First up congrats on sorting your **** out, feels good doesn't it? I made a similar transformation and have cut ties with all my old female friends, now I f**k girls I know, instead of getting f**ked over by them.

In terms of the situation I like your stance in that you weren't gonna stand around waiting for her but in my opinion, and take it with a grain of salt if you wish, I probably would have gone up to her and told her I was leaving rather than just leaving. This way you at least give her the chance to make a last play at your attention before you go, particularly if she seemed in the mood for you at the time - gotta strike while the irons hot. Basically what happened is your ego got in the way a little bit which is something I struggle with as well, sometimes you just have to admit to yourself that you really want to hit it and make some minor concessions yourself.

However it is probably just as likely as you say that she was just playing games with you and that by leaving you did the completely right thing, but hey, if she was as into you, and as hot, as you say it wouldn't have hurt to check right?

 

[Young Juan]

She could've been plain games, but maybe she just wanted to see you go after and take what you want. I would've handled it one of two ways. When she had to tell me she was going to go say goodbye, I would've told her I'm leaving right now to get food, try to see if she wanted to come or setup try to setup a meet up for a nightcap after. Also along those same lines, I would've gone for a make out and made a move right then to figure out where her head is at regarding sexual interest and the odds of a meet up right after.

Also, like dude above said, it would've shown strength to walk in there after her , find her, tell her you're about to leave and go for the make out and bring her with you.

As always, you know what works best for you but just a few options.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Yes DA, you handled this right.

If she was interested, she would either have casually waived goodbye, or stepped up to say goodbye to the DJ quickly WITH you their, or would have walked straight out with you.

Seems like you AND her have got your confidence back - dont let this little thing break your new found confidence.

As has been said since the time of The Romans, we know not what makes a woman tick.

Keep up your attack in other area and if this is meant to be, she will find a way via her bud, or by contacting you directly.

All the best!!!

 

[omega05]

because she took a long time to say goodbye to her DJ friend, that means she's automatically playing games with him? Would you feel different if it was a woman friend she was taking a while to say goodbye to?

 

[DAardwolf]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

Here's what I think: I overcompensated and acted like a d!ck. Even if she was playing games I should have at least shown some courtesy and said goodbye. I just don't want to be that beta-jerk I was all those months ago.

I need to calm my @ss down and not react like... well, like a woman, letting feelings cloud my judgement.

I'm still learning. All in all, I'm calling last night a win.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Also, the woman who invited me, who never showed any interest in me other than being her emotional tampon kept following me, touching me, making lots of eye contact, etc

She was showing you attention because she saw all the other women giving you attention; having other women into you, sparks a fire in women to find out about you.

I didn't fall for it. I knew she wanted her favorite beta back.

Likely, but not necessarily. Esp if she was getting wasted.

After 15 minutes, I looked at her friend, told her I was bored and was leaving, asked the friend to say goodbye for me, and walked out. No text, no phone call, I just left and have no intention of contacting her.

You waited 12 minutes too long....lol Seriously, 15 minutes and she's still saying "bye"? Please! You handled it right by leaving.

My thoughts: She was either playing a waiting game with me or was flirting with the DJ. Fvck that. If her interest level in me is high enough, she'll contact me but I'm not contacting her. At least, not for a while.

Don't hold your breath, esp with a girl like her. Middle aged, make-over likely either divorced or "I run the show" type of woman. She def was likely trying to make you a little jealous, BUT if she had any intent on hooking up with you she wouldn't have made you wait that long; that's just flat out disrespectful, not only to you, but the other girl as well.

But now I'm having second thoughts about how I handled it. I'm not sure if I would have been screwing her silly right now if I had waited or if she was just playing games.

You def would not have been screwing her silly if you would've waited for her to finish talking to the DJ. She wouldn't respect you for being a chump. You def have a chance to bang her out the next time you see her though. And don't mention anything about the DJ and her making you wait. She will likely ask you if you see her relatively soon; and just brush it off.

But I really wanted to fvck her.

And this is called outcome dependency; nothing wrong with being a sexual-being, but don't let it make you over-analyze, esp when the woman in question is retarded.

Should I have waited? Maybe tracked her down? Or did I do the right thing? Thoughts?

Your in the transformation phase; so your inner beta is causing this over-analysis.

You did the right thing, next time you see her, pick up the flirting where it left off, don't mention anything about this night and it would do you good to flirt with other women a bit in front of her.








PIMP

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

Here's what I think: I overcompensated and acted like a d!ck. Even if she was playing games I should have at least shown some courtesy and said goodbye. I just don't want to be that beta-jerk I was all those months ago.

I need to calm my @ss down and not react like... well, like a woman, letting feelings cloud my judgement.

I'm still learning. All in all, I'm calling last night a win.

You did fine.

Not saying "goodbye" isn't a huge thing. Depending on how drunk I am, how packed the bar is, and how scattered my group is, I often don't take the time to say goodbye. It's not "alpha" or "beta"...it's me deciding that it's time to leave.

Of all the things to worry about, this is like 1,000,000 on the list. You did well.