Not saying the wrong thing!

[Ricky]

Sometimes it doesn't matter as much what you say as what you don't say.

I've found that a conversation could be going excellent then I say something slightly obnoxious and it goes downhill

So I have to tone things down. Many a time a calm, normal conversation was all it took to meet the girl and get her phone number.

I have gradually realized, and it is kind of obvious, but the type of things you say around the guys that get big laughs can sometimes totally turn a girl off, especially if you don't know her already.

So for me, keeping the talk small and positive, small talk is the key!

 

[Aiken_Drum]

Just remember that you don´t need to say something to every thing the other person says. It´s a sign of anxiety to do so.

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"In doing good, avoid notoriety; in doing evil, avoid self-awareness" Duncan Idaho, Mentat (Dune).

"I can imagine a perfect world, a world without hate, a world without war. Then I can imagine us attacking that world
because they'd never expect it." --Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts"

 

[Taz]

Originally posted by Aiken_Drum:
Just remember that you don´t need to say something to every thing the other person says. It´s a sign of anxiety to do so.

That's a good point, I never thought of it that way. But when I say something, and the person clearly heard me but doesn't say anything back, I feel somewhat insulted yet a part of me wants to find another way to get their attention. Its weird how that works, I have to start using this to my advantage.

 

[comote]

I have to disagree with you, especially for the "nice guys" this is extremely bad advice. The last thing you want to do is walk on eggshells around people. It is far better to be seen as too obnoxious versus too nice. If you worry about saying the wrong thing you will end up not saying anything at all. This is the absolute worst. I would rather people think I am a bit obnoxious than have them think I am boring to be around.

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The very first step to becoming what you want to be is to accept all responsibility for the situation you are in.
in short: quit whining!!!!!!!!!

Why should I care about her, because she looks good? She has given me no reason to care yet.

screw what's right, do what works.

 

[UnimagnbleBstard]

I understand what you are saying. There are some jokes/some things you can say around friends that just wouldn't be good around a new person.

Like my friend Rachel, she jokes about rape. Jokes about rape aren't exactly something most women seem to find funny but she does.

A friend of mine's little sister had a crush on me a while ago, so I was teasing her by hitting on her -- now if someone who didn't know us saw this they may think I'm some kind of pedophile.

So yeah, I agree that learning what NOT to say is just as important as what TO say.