Not returning Phone calls.

[ssj245]

I dont want this to sound like a rant but I have been expereincing this more and more often and it starting to make me feel disrespected.

I give my friends calls on their phone, but half of the time they wont return the calls. I know some of them even get my messages but they wont bother to call me up.

They wont call me up to let me know if the plans we made yesterday are still good for today, even after i hear them say that famous line "hey I'll give you a call tommorow" which is so BS.

I feel like that some of my friends are completly incosiderate when it comes to making effort of staying in touch and expect me to do all the work for them, to make the effort to call and to plan and find out whats going on.

If I dont call certain people, Im sure I wont hear from them for a month.

I feel like my time and my value is being attacked when I call people, or txt them and I never get a call back.

I can call a girl and I could be sleeping and she would say "Oh ill call you back later" Ill say sure. The call never comes. Untill I call back.

I dont want to do this anymore, it makes me feel like I am begging people, guys or girls to be friends if they dont make the same amount of effort I do in a friendship.

Has anyone expereinced this kind of feeling before?

But I dont want to say F-it either, since i wouldnt have many friends left and I would be lonely. I think I havent found friends that respect me and value me as much as I respect and value them.

How can I teach my friends that I am to be respected and valued?

 

[Julian]

i have a couple "friends" like that. i take it with a grain of salt because i dont put any value on them as friends anyway. they are just people i know and sometimes talk to and even more rarely hang out with. If i call them and they dont hit me back up, whatever, and it goes bothways im sure.

Chances are they arent putting any worth on you as a friend, losing u means nothing to them. Ur best bet is just to cut off contact, burn the bridges. People say not to do this but **** it sometimes u gotta. Ive tried to reach out to old "friends' but if they pput no effort towards friendship then i say **** em, they can live their own lives it makes no difference to me, the bridge will be burned and ill move on and build new ones with new more worthy people.

I suggest you do the same. Doing this can lead to a rough and lonely path but u will find people to connect with along the way.

 

[ssj245]

ic

both of you guys, thank you for your reply's.

ESpi does that mean for example that if you call them and they dont return your call. Say you call them tuesday and they dont return the call, then you call them wednesday and they dont call, how many times do you keep trying to make an effort to reach them and plan something untill you say stop enough is enough.

Are you saying that you shouldnt let how your friends treat you make you feel bad and that you just continue to call them and when you get them the third or forth time that you arrange a time to hang out. But if they never call you then its no big deal, and you keep calling all the time, since THEY ARE hanging out with you, they must like you to some degree. So it doesnt matter who called who?

 

[ssj245]

anyone

anyone else?

 

[djbr]

I know what you're feeling. This may sound odd as I don't know your exact situation, but try to concentrate on your own problems and forget about the external world for a little (and just a little) time.

And never forget this:

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

This is a foundation of any relationship, not just intersexual ones, but family, business, etc. relationships as well. It is a dynamic that is always in effect.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Get new friends with similar values about respect as you or find new friends that enjoy your company more...

Just sh1tting 'ya....

 

[ssj245]

This need

when i am around my friends I always feel the need to please them and to make them like me, it puts me in a postion of inferiority. I do this without thinking about what I am doing. Everytime I am around people I feel inferior to and it could be some small things, I start to say and try and impress people to like me.

I know this puts me at a disadvatage because other people can sense this and pick this vibe.

I try hard to picture them stepping down from this pedistal that my mind automatically places them on. When I hear what they did for the weekend and the girl they boned and the sh&t the smoked it makes me feel jealous and inferior. All my friends are into crazy stuff, street racing, smoking weed, drinking binges, Barn yard parties, orgies. True guys. When I hear all this I feel jealous. I try to get them to take me but for some reason or another it never happens.

I guess I have to learn to love myself first then only expect others to respect me. If I dont respect myself why should others.

How could you learn to respect yourself. How can you give yourself that burining feeling inside that lets you know your okay and with it a sense of calm relaxness where you feel smooth.

 

[djbr]

Focus on your own life. That means solving your problems and pursuing the things that you know will make you happy but you are too scared (or lazy) to go after it.

Examples include carrer, sports, etc. Find what it is and go after it.

We humans are complex creatures. One thing lacks and it starts to mess up with other things as well. So become as complete as you can.

 

[The Truth]

Maybe you're a boring or unlikeable person. Don't mean to offend you with something you dont want to hear but that is a very real possibility!

A few things to think about.....

Do you talk a lot about yourself or about a particular topic that interests you?

Do you give details or long explanations about things?

Do people ever sit there nodding or agreeing mindlessly when you talk?

Do you try to take over conversations or be centre of attention?

Do you moan a lot or express your negative opinions a lot?

If so, then you're the sort of guy most people try to avoid. If not, then it may be crap friends you have.

 

[MrS]

if they're mates i dont mind their lack of communication "value" .
And we don't have to apply any DJ tips here, like playing ahrd to get or whatever or acting like you don't care, they're blokes, just tell them, don't be a *****.

 

[ssj245]

lol

Yeah I tend to do those kind of things from time to time. Your also right about the whole Blokes thing. Lol whats funny is that I dont complian when a girl doest call,cuz I know what I have to do, but here I was confused.

Yeah those things you mentioned I do them once in a while, esp the long detailed explanations and my negative opinions.

 

[ssj245]

Well

Well It happened again. I called on of my friends, he picks up and he's
had a tone to his voice that said leave me alone.

He said "lets hangout friday or thursday"
I told him I was busy friday night
He told me aight maybe some other time

But the whole time I felt like he didnt care about me and wheter or not he thought I was his friend. I feel like Im making much more of an effort to be a friend than he is.

I just dont know when its appropriate to just draw the line and say forget it, Im going to stop trying to extend my hand in friendship.