Guys which is the best way to close a 3 months waste of my time, mixed signals, hot and cold, then into me and cold again? She's not so interested so I want to stop her giving me roundarounds. I'd like to tell her that if she's playing, I'm not a part of the game or if she's not interested I'm not part of her game as well. Or shall I just stay silent and close without closure?
Not interested - closure or not?
- Thread starter joker79
- Start date
delete number and move on. I used to have a bad habit of sending bad text bombs while drunk which was stupid. In hindsight, I wish I just got rid of their number. Its not worth pursuing and pining over someone who can't respect you.
Trailboss
Don Juan
What's the best way of closing out an investment that you finally realize is not going to pay off in the end? Stop putting more money into it right away! Whatever you are investing: just stop and walk away. You will find piece of mind and it will drive her insane...From what I understand, being DJ is about "you", not her anyway...who cares what she thinks/feels/needs/wants/understands or likes....your protecting you! Good luck.
Don't say ANYTHING to her, it's not necessary because it was never a real relationship. Just like the other posters have mentioned, it's a transaction/investment that is not paying off, simply stop paying into it. Just because you want stock in Apple doesn't mean it will do well.
Besides, if you don't provide closure, you have a chance to become the mysterious one. In the mean time you can go out and start making your life story so the next time you and her talk, you've become "about something" and now will have something interesting to talk about that doesn't focus on her as the center of attention. Second...this gives you a free ticket to date other women which will inevitably make you realize that if you continue to talk to Miss Hot and Cold you'll be eating a bullet.
Besides, if you don't provide closure, you have a chance to become the mysterious one. In the mean time you can go out and start making your life story so the next time you and her talk, you've become "about something" and now will have something interesting to talk about that doesn't focus on her as the center of attention. Second...this gives you a free ticket to date other women which will inevitably make you realize that if you continue to talk to Miss Hot and Cold you'll be eating a bullet.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
3 months?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!
Dude, you're already a short conversation away from LJBF.
Grab your balls and walk away with them.
Jeez!
Dude, you're already a short conversation away from LJBF.
Grab your balls and walk away with them.
Jeez!
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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Look at it this way: if she's already being cold towards you, it means she doesn't care if you're around her or not. Therefore, you giving some big speech about why you're not going to see her again is irrelevant since she's already trying to NOT see you.joker79 said:
In the meantime, read my new post, "When a woman likes you..." so you'll have an idea of how women act when they like you. She's not playing any games with you, dude - she's just not interested. Girls don't come out and say that to your face; instead, they do passive stuff like no longer contacting you or getting cold towards your advances. Recognize it, accept it and move on...
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
Just start treating her like you treat your friends fat sister. That'll do the trick.
@Harry: exactly after reading your post I decided to close this "thing", don't know how to call it. the return on the investment is zero and i'm not getting anything out of it. It's incredible because exactly one week ago we were kissing each other and she was behaving exactly like a gf (hugging, only into me..). Then she went cold, now I dunno where she is, whom she's with, nothing. No replies to my few messages (was betabacksliding) and no reply to a call (and didn't call back). She is rebounding from a LTR and I can't read her behaviour, she told me that she behaved really awfully towards me. think case is closed, will walk away without saying anything, too many red flags.
PlayHer Man
Banned
Freeze her out. Don't waste time on a waste of time.
If she chases you down (Sometimes when you ignore women they will come after you to make sure they still have "access") just don't respond. You might even get an angry disrespectful long winded message from her. Ignore that too.
She can't offer you sh!t... she is sh!t. Hit the bricks.
If she chases you down (Sometimes when you ignore women they will come after you to make sure they still have "access") just don't respond. You might even get an angry disrespectful long winded message from her. Ignore that too.
She can't offer you sh!t... she is sh!t. Hit the bricks.
Went NC, let's see what happens but i'm getting to the idea she doesn't fit my requirements. Think she's banging another dude, there's no reason for this behaviour apart from that, not answering in certain time during the day is evidence of that. Unfortunately I'll see her next week, not sure how to respond if she brings up the thing (I won't for sure); it's likely that she will want to know what i did in these "silent" days, how i am and so on. I won't confront her regarding her behaviour, I don't care. If she pushes on me to get into this discussion, I was thinking to say something like "my expectation of the women I date is that they show clearly interest on me even if I'm not around" but I don't know if it's a good answer. Probably it'd be better to half-smile and don't say anything and walk away. What do you think bros?
Both reactions/responses would be "no bueno". Be cool to her and simply be cordial at all times. This is the most you owe anyone. Technically she hasn't done anything wrong and has the right to talk to anyone she wants. Unless you're married to her or she has had children by you, she owes you nada.
The more spiteful you act, the more reason she has substantiating why she should never have spoke to you. Also remember, whoever she's with, there's very little chance this will be her future husband...so you're not 100% out of her view. If she's paying ANY attention to you at all you have SOME value (not sure what category that would be...only you would know).
All is fair in love in war, especially if there's no formal commitment. Get on with your life, do not attempt to punish her. Getting on with your life will be "punishment" enough and on top of it may spark more interest.
Last year I was talking to a girl via FB I met on POF. I was overseas so I could not act on her face-to-face. In the meantime she was going out on dates with other guys. I went NC with no announcement. She would check on me every 8 weeks or so I kept things "cool". Fast forward to last week, we met in person and she gave "it" up to me (invited me back to her place). Even now, our communication is sparse, but she hasn't stonewalled me so I'm just staying cool and dating other women.
Be the cool rich dude from Meet the Parents. Don't "squeak" about non-communication and congratulate her if she announces a new relationship. Eventually all women want to know what you've been up to (at least in my life). Don't always make it about sex...because everyone gets that right?? If you go in with the attitude that everyone has (fill in the blank), then it comes off as a non-preassure situation and she'll more than likely respond to that in a far more positive manner.
Dude, I've been rejected I can't tell you how many times. I've been cheated on a few as well...maybe more. I've also had a ridiculous number of successes and I've had HB5-10. I don't always know what the secret formula is, but I will say that the above advice has brought me many carefree years with minimal anguish.
Give it a go. Good luck.
The more spiteful you act, the more reason she has substantiating why she should never have spoke to you. Also remember, whoever she's with, there's very little chance this will be her future husband...so you're not 100% out of her view. If she's paying ANY attention to you at all you have SOME value (not sure what category that would be...only you would know).
All is fair in love in war, especially if there's no formal commitment. Get on with your life, do not attempt to punish her. Getting on with your life will be "punishment" enough and on top of it may spark more interest.
Last year I was talking to a girl via FB I met on POF. I was overseas so I could not act on her face-to-face. In the meantime she was going out on dates with other guys. I went NC with no announcement. She would check on me every 8 weeks or so I kept things "cool". Fast forward to last week, we met in person and she gave "it" up to me (invited me back to her place). Even now, our communication is sparse, but she hasn't stonewalled me so I'm just staying cool and dating other women.
Be the cool rich dude from Meet the Parents. Don't "squeak" about non-communication and congratulate her if she announces a new relationship. Eventually all women want to know what you've been up to (at least in my life). Don't always make it about sex...because everyone gets that right?? If you go in with the attitude that everyone has (fill in the blank), then it comes off as a non-preassure situation and she'll more than likely respond to that in a far more positive manner.
Dude, I've been rejected I can't tell you how many times. I've been cheated on a few as well...maybe more. I've also had a ridiculous number of successes and I've had HB5-10. I don't always know what the secret formula is, but I will say that the above advice has brought me many carefree years with minimal anguish.
Give it a go. Good luck.
Thanks Kawai, will behave calmly and will be cool. As of now, I don't see interest, she hasn't contacted me in the last 8 days. In case of questions or awkward silences (she will try to gauge a reaction from me, we've been kissing until 2 eekds ago and then nothing), I would go for "Hint taken" and close the conversation. What do you think guys? does it sound mean or emotional?
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Yeah. It sounds like a hurt teenager.joker79 said:
If this girl was "hot an cold" with you for 3 months and she's not reached out to you in 8 days, then there's nothing to say.
If you walk away like a man right now, then there's a chance (slim chance) in the future that maybe she reaches out to you. Because it leaves her wondering, "Why did joker walk away so easily?"
If you come back to her, acting all beat up about her silence, then she knows that she broke your heart. And she did it without even getting her pants off.
Silence is golden. Stay with it. Find new prospects. Your ego is bruised, but you'll get better.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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Yeah - and as far as seeing her at work... I've been in this situation, where I was banging a co-worker and then she stopped responding to my calls, yet I'd still see her at work. Real talk: that's one of the things you have to know in advance you may end up having to deal with if it doesn't work out. In my case, I just went back to talking to her like a co-worker. I'd still have conversations with her, joking, laughing, etc. - we just wouldn't communicate outside of work. That's just kinda how it ends up going. You can't act all butt hurt... well, you can, but there's really no point in doing so.
She's moving on, and will be telling you stories about new dudes she's hooking up with - which you should be cool with, because YOU should be out there hooking up with new girls. So, stop holding a grudge (grudge-holding usually only ends up making YOU mad and depressed, not the person you're holding the grudge against) and start looking for new girls to get with.
She's moving on, and will be telling you stories about new dudes she's hooking up with - which you should be cool with, because YOU should be out there hooking up with new girls. So, stop holding a grudge (grudge-holding usually only ends up making YOU mad and depressed, not the person you're holding the grudge against) and start looking for new girls to get with.
guys update, feel free to beat me up. Just got in touch again for work reasons, tried to stay cool and indifferent. Mixed reactions, i would say neutral behaviour from her. Talked with another colleague and gave her attention telling her how i spent my holidays. She was listening (pretending not to) with a "I don't care/pretend not to care" behaviour but I think i could have a shot if I play it well, she looks annoyed when I give attention to other girls. She told me how she spent her holidays but didn't mention any bf/friend. I think there's someone in the background but she will not tell me for sure. My guts says: move on! honestly i haven't seen any strong "buying" signal, but anytime i push a little bit, I got good results (two weeks ago we made out quite quickly). but not the big results I want. fortunately I'll be able to establish a full NC from next week. So I could give her an ultimatum ("we're not going to see each other anymore, so you're in or out") but I know that this won't work. She won't chase me as she has never done it. I think I'm a the end of the tunnel without any successful choice to make. Do you see any potential way to play it well?
You have to remember that this is your "scenario" not hers. In other words it's your world you invited her to, and that world has to continue with or without her. No ultimatums, this will only provide her with satisfaction of knowing she's adored. Chicas tend to hate not being adored, even if it's from a guy they weren't 100% into in the first place. They want their cake and ice cream...simply take that away from them without saying a thing.joker79 said:
Be patient, walk away, investigate new options, and if she ever comes back into the picture treat her with respect but get everything you can out of her and let her decide if she has feelings instead of trying to convince her to have them. If she develops something for you and you still have something for her, there's this thing called MATURITY that will open the door of communication.
Seriously, she's a person just like you and is not royalty...so stop giving her the royal treatment. If she kissed you, there was SOME level of interest there and there is always some residual interest buried deep in there somewhere, but you have let her make it more than it currently is.
Good luck...chill out...move on with life.