Not always good advice

[NatureGuy]

This site has some seemingly good advice, but one has to read with scepticism.
Alot of this may work with women
in their twenties, but I'm finding it's often
wrong for older women.
I had been treating my girlfriend
with gentle respect, having fun,
long talks - things were going well.
I got suckered into the negative
attitude toward women conveyed in this
site, made a decision based on that,
and may have lost her.

 

[Knicknack]

who told you to be negative? this site is not about being negative. it's about respecting yourself more than some broad. if a girl is into you why would you change what you were doing? you made the mistake here.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Don't take it as Gospel, but don't ignore it

Hell yeah, older women can be both easier and harder to deal with.

They've been through the usual sh!t so don't play so many games, they're quicker to tell you when somethings up.

But don't take everything here without questioning - some advice is good for chicks in the states, but useless for Europe, etc etc.

The one thing that really always amazes me though, is when I have a problem that I'm totally emotionally caught up in. I'll post the situation up, maybe post my thoughts, then get tonnes of guys disagreeing with my thoughts on the matter. I have had this happen quite a few times now. What generally happens is that I disagree with their conclusions, but after enough time has passed and I've thought enough on it, I always end up at the same result: These guys are telling me the truth.

This is the way it is, and no matter how you feel when you're in the middle of a situation, the odds are that the advice posted here is bang-on. Of course there will be occasions where you're told to next, but it's recoverable and you do so. But you will most likely eventually next that girl, except in rare circumstances.

So I'm learning from experience not to ignore the advice from this site, no matter how much I disagree or think that it's invalid.

YMMV,
Oscar.

 

[( . )( . )]

I too am interested to know what this "negative attitude" towards women you are talking about NatureGuy, care to enlighten us?

 

[DJ_Dork]

Well, some DJ skills work and some do not. It depends on women.. generally most women respond to these DJ things because it is rrobably based on rules set by those damn women magazines on how they should see a man. Also, DJ skills remind all men what they are instead of playing the NICE GUY VICTIM.

Pretty much DJ skills = Act opposite of how a woman should act. If you act nice/friendly - this is what a woman sees in a friend/another woman. Simple.

 

[NatureGuy]

Knicknack: Thanks for the reply
but the fact that you use the
term "broad" makes my point.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by NatureGuy
Knicknack: Thanks for the reply
but the fact that you use the
term "broad" makes my point.

and here i am thinking you were talking about an actual real life misogynist, your pathetic.

negativity toward women because he used slang pffft, ive seen poodles who aren't as highly strung as you.

 

[NatureGuy]

( . )( . ) (great name by the way)

By negative I mean :
The use of terms such as "broad",
suggesting techniques that basically
hurt her to gain advantage largely
to "score" with her, use of predatory
sounding tactics, and so on.
It may be great if your 22 years old
and just want to play around, but
when your a bit older and have
been through that and marriage
and whatever most people want
something more meaningfull and
respectful.
But I like what Oscar Wilde said
and will approach it that way.

 

[NewMan]

Nature...

Wait a minute - have you read the bible?

If you haven't I suggest you do it.

I would consider myself one of the older guys here - but what I get out of the DJ Bible - is how to improve myself.

Thats what this site is mainly about. It's basically about improving oneself so that we are more confident, interesting and challenging to women.

Some of the POSTS may have a negative vibe - and that may work for some people - but the nature of this site isn't about using tricks and techniques to get women - it's to be a better man - to improve as a man and not be a p#ssy whipped guy with women.

Putting down a woman is totally different to DJ'ing her. DJ ing her means be a challenge. Don't give up to much information about yourself. Be confident. Don't be afraid to let her know that you want her sexually through Kino and such. It doesn't mean that you talk down to her, or make her feel like Sh#t.

The problem for most guys in an LTR, is that they lose that edge (I know I was there) - we become whimps - and try and make our partners happy - buy doing the things they want - since women by nature are so self absorbed - wanting to eat at this resteraunt, wanting to watch this movie - buy this for the house, that for the house - fix this, paint this etc....

Women are demanding of us - and usually stop giving in return as the realtionship continues. Guys in general get suckered into this - and that why most married men with kids tell you - "Don't get married to young, live your life" =- why? because when your married your life is your wifes.

Being a DJ means being a man at all times - and not putting up with Sh#t from a woman.

This is a long post - I oppologize - I'm outtie.

 

[NatureGuy]

NewMan : thankyou. I appreciate
what you've said.

 

[Knicknack]

NatureGuy: before you set your goals for that "more meaningfull and respectful" relationship, understand what it takes to achieve it. too often people have a grandiose idea of what type of life they want to live and what their GF/wife will look like and act like.

as the days turn over and a man's envisioned life is not coming to fruition, he begins to compromise. if the poor bloke would have been serious with himself and learned about self respect early on, he would not be making compromises, but instead, turning down all kinds of opportunities.

the fact that you have a steady GF that is now wavering because you are finally starting to act like a man tells me one thing: you are on the right path. i hope you never lose focus of your goal for a meaningful relationship. keep reading this site and the bible.

 

[NatureGuy]

Thanks for the thoughts Knicknack, especially where you describe her
as "wavering". Of course my situation
is alot more complicated than can be
conveyed here, but I guess time will tell what is going on. Turn down opportunities you say? Even for someone
like myself (I'm confident I'm a good catch) there really aren't that many interesting
women around. When I was in
college, I would agree with you there
were alot of opportunities, but
not so now.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I really have to ask : What were you doing before? What are you doing now that is different?

If you started off pretty close to AFC, then she might just see that you are growing a set of bals and is acting up because she wants you to lose your confidence before you leave her for that girl that is just one notch better.

 

[princelydeeds]

Originally posted by NatureGuy
I had been treating my girlfriend
with gentle respect, having fun,
long talks - things were going well.
I got suckered into the negative
attitude toward women conveyed in this
site, made a decision based on that,
and may have lost her.

So now its everyones fault but your that you may have lost this girl? If you had something good, why would you mess up what you had based on some words on the internet. No one here knows you or knows your woman. If what you were doing was working why all of a sudden would you start doing something different because some guys on a web page said so?

I have never read anywhere on this site to stop being nice to the woman you have at home and start treatng her like crap.

The term broad is just a euphemism for the word woman. How does the use of the word broad on a website mean that you should go home and be mean to your woman? I don't understand your logic. Are you honestly saying that since people on this website use the term "broad" that you thought you should go be mean to your woman? I don't buy that and I don't think you really believe that either. You two have must have deeper issues than that. If you are really so naive as to have read that much into certain people's choice of words, then its not the websites fault, its your fault for being such a follower.

There are tons of guys on this site, not myself included, who only speak of women in glowing, flowery praising terms. Why didnt you follow their lead? Why would you only choose to follow the most negative, examples? I dont buy your criticism at all, you have deeper problems in your relationship you need to work out.

 

[Drex]

It's hard
to read
your post when
you
hit enter
so
often.
I feel like
I'm stuttering
when
I read
your
posts.

But anyways back on topic. Give us a real example of something you said that upset her, there is such a thing as too much. Maybe you are being too serious when you neg-hit her or you're being way too ****y and not funny enough, etc. I dont see why a woman would get upset by the word "broad."

 

[NatureGuy]

Here's the main thing I did (realizing that maybe I've been too nice and accomodating): last time I saw her (7 days ago), as a parting comment, I said give me a call once you've called your lawyer (for advice, not to take action). Reason for this is because she's been talking about it for a long time, but hasn't done so (she has an abusive, controlling husband).
I was hoping this would motivate her,
but I havn't heard from her and can't
reach her at this point.
Maybe too serious, too much for her?
What should I do?

 

[NatureGuy]

So pimp its scary: That was an
incredible insight you had about
her conduct. It would make alot
of sense knowing what I do about
her somewhat low self-esteem
at this point.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by NatureGuy

What should I do?

read the DJ bible would be a start

 

[NatureGuy]

I'm reading the DJ bible.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

I was about to post that some women actually like to be treated right.

And some are nasty controlling b1tches with the majority of women being somewhere in the middle. That's why a lot of the posts on this forum come off as misogynist.

But then you post that this chick is thinking about getting a divorce from an abusive controlling husband.

Why did she marry him and stay with him in the first place if she likes being treated so good?