Normal Chick Behavior

[Knight's Cross]

With all the ugly,"not sure why my chick is doing this"? kind of threads circulating. I've decided to start a thread that describes what a normal chick that's into you does. So I'll give an example. The rest of you that have samples of your own please post. Perhaps it will give us all a breather of what women that are into you do.
A couple years ago I left a toxic relationship with a BPD. Now when I started seeing a "normal" person I wasn't prepared for normal behavior. A perfect example was new chick and I were in bed together, around 2 am her phone started ringing. In my leftover default setting from BPD I immediately assumed it was either a)new chick's boyfriend b) a FWB calling for a booty call. I never assumed it was c) something completely different.
I remember it woke me up and I said,"Is one of your friends calling you for bail"? I'm still proud today that came out of my mouth. Her response totally threw me. She said,"I don't know, answer it". Now she either had super cajones, or she had absolutely nothing to hide from me. The phone was on my side of the bed. She rolled over, picked it up, answered and hit speaker. It was an automated message from the airline. Her 8 am flight was pushed back to 9.
The point of this was I was so F'd up from the behavior from the last chick that I almost screwed up with new chick. I was ****y funny with my response, but I was still in the fake it till you make it mode. With "normal" behavior from new chick that subsided and I began to trust again. New chick was transparent. Ohh sure she had guy friends from her past, but she was always straight with me. When they can't get enough of you, they tend not to screw around.
If your lady isn't constantly displaying "normal" why put up with it?

KC

 

[Heretolearn]

great post!

 

[5string]

Simply put, there is no such thing as a normal chick.

Give it enough time. You'll see.

 

[PeakIV]

Simply put, there is no such thing as a normal chick.

Give it enough time. You'll see.

I agree with him .....She'll kick off soon enough, they all do

 

[GotED?]

All women are SENSITIVE creatures.

To the point that some can no longer apply logic to think and is overwhelmed by feeling. That is when crazy happens.

 

[Knight's Cross]

I don't disagree that women are,"emotional" based. Sure the same chick above at some point in the relationship showed some mistakes. I can honestly say tho, that she never showed any that she couldn't recognize were wrong when I called her on it. That's the difference. Some chicks are just naturally so irresponsible with their actions, that they are not worth it.
KC

 

[PlayHer Man]

OP.. what you say is both true and false at the same time. Its TRUE that a woman who is "into you" (meaning you're the best option at the time) will walk on eggshells to avoid scaring you away. All women act "good" when they have something to gain. This is how they seduce you and get you to marry them.

The smart women know how important it is to "play the game" until they get what they want. Do you believe how this chick acts TODAY will never change? Do you believe she will still behave this way after being with you for 10 years? I'll bet money she won't.

I only know this from experience. As a guy who doesn't take crap from women.. the majority of women I've dated treated my like kings in the beginning because they knew how fast they would get NEXTED if they did otherwise. But the minute I started to fall for them, let them get away with sh!t, act passive, get attached.. BOOM.. the b*tch shows up. Little by little she becomes a bigger and bigger b*tch. Then one day you wake up and realize you have no power in the relationship. It happens so smooth you dont' even notice. That's how good women are at manipulation.

You are already showing signs of oneitis bro. You said: "I almost screwed up with new chick." See? She is already on the pedestal and you didn't even notice you put her there. Don't worry.. happens to all of us.

As long as you continue acting like you can dump her at any minute.. she will kiss your ass. The minute you get soft on her she will use that crack in your armor as an opportunity to assert more of her will.

There is no stability in human relationships. Read this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/07/magazine/the-futile-pursuit-of-happiness.html

What that article basically says is your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you've reached a goal. This is why women are never satisfied and once they "conquer" you they usually turn b*tchy/manipulative/difficult.

The minute your guard dog falls asleep is the minute your house gets robbed.

 

[Knight's Cross]

PHM,
When I say I almost screwed up, what I mean is I almost said something stupid or Beta. I didn't. As well I'm not sure how I pedestalized someone that I devastated since at the 2 year mark I dumped her after she had moved across 2 states to be with me.
KC

 

[Night-hawk]

PlayHer Man.

And OP, now that you placed her under a new mental construct, 'normal', don't go doing one of these to her on Valentines Day :flowers: and rooting for her to keep validating your belief she is so different and special and getting all :cheer:. Stay , screen and don't beat yourself up thinking if you do or say something you might lose her.

Like you said, when you know she's interested she will show it.

And trust me, I can relate with the BPD, and how it can carry over and scratch your perception on new girls. But if she is really that good, then time and her actions will show.

 

[Knight's Cross]

I had hoped this thread wouldn't run where it did, but alas I see it didn't get the traction that I had aspired for it. Ok so a couple points:
1. The chick I dated that displayed normal I dumped. Not because she displayed "normal" but because we disagreed on finances and kids. 2 really big ticket items for LDR in my book.
2. Over the course of dating her for 2 years she held really high regard for me. She consistently showed affection, womanly/girly traits, wanted sex whenever I wanted it, etc. In other words she was a great girlfrend. Only reason I tossed her back was the $ and children issue. See her mindset was earn/ spend. While she made great $, she liked to spend it and I didn't see a longterm plan on her part to save $. Regarding children, she wanted them, I wanted them, but her idea was she'd take some time off, and then we'd have a nanny so that she and I could go right back to 60+ hours a week work schedule. I wasn't good with that. I want kids to have a mom that's more involved. Since we didn't see eye to eye on that, I ended things.

Where I'm going is I'm sure that many of you have had women in your lives that demonstrated great behavior. Please share so that others know what it's like. I cannot believe that every chick every one of you has dated has started off great and then nose dived in the attitude department when the relationship was farther along. I'm sure some do, but the GOOD LDR/marriage crowd doesn't see this. Part of it is maintaining frame, part of it is about good selection. If you overlook things early, I'm sure they don't get better. They just get worse.
KC

 

[PlayHer Man]

There was ONE girl I dated I would say displayed "normal" behavior without changing later. I actually consider it "good" behavior more than "normal".

She was Asian born in Asia. Very easy going, let me run the show, had her opinions but was never a b!tch about it. Also didn't ask for much in the department of money spent on her. Very down to earth and happy to just "spend time together". Also, she never turned down sex. She was also an 8 in looks.

We only broke up because her family moved back home and she moved with them. We were 19 at the time.. fresh out of high school.

Now she is married with kids in her country. Still an 8 (looks exactly the same) based on Facebook pics. I can only image what would of happened if she kept her ass in the U.S.

 

[vorbis]

I despair sometimes about some of the guys here.
My current girlfriend displays "normal" behavior.
Things might not work out between us but that similar to Knight's Cross would be due to dealbreaker type issues.

Furthermore, I know plenty of women who for the most part treat their guys well. I of course also know women who don't treat their guy well or put on loads of weight once in a relationship. There can be some good advice on this board but the bitterness is not needed.

Not every woman is a *****. To say so is messed up.
To get back on topic, an example of normal girl behavior for me was being able to take a week's vacation with some friends for a sports tournament. She pouted a small bit about not being able to go but it was honestly no big deal. Not being able to do stuff with your friends because she gets offended would be abnormal girl behavior in my book.

 

[The Duke]

....Man I need some of that red kool-aid you guys have been drinking.

 

[Night-hawk]

It's getting old hearing of this 'bitterness' bull**** from guys on this forum. If some of the views you read displease you then stfu about it and go hug on your happy totem pole of ideal girlfriends. Lots of guys here aren't concerned to placate to the sensitive masses speaking from a warm heart with cold words, shouting to the heavens their scorn of fill in the blanks, but that doesn't mean they don't get along, enjoy, and have positive views of women. So quit thinking like chicks and getting your panties in a knot when when you sense the bitter bite of some members here. Because, like it or not, lots of them offer sweet advise. And sometimes things are just taken and read out of context, fair enough.

 

[Romjuan]

Watch the movie, My Best Friends Girl. What my opinion of "normal chick behavior" is Kate Hudsons character. Very bubbly, easy going, full of life. I wish all girls could be like her character.

 

[Night-hawk]

^ http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxc-nrYrdnE it's a good movie. Portrays a complete beta ljbf and alpha behaviour by Dane Cook (until the end when he turns into a 'am I good enough for her I guess not so I will self destruct for her because I make her a victim cringe worthy bull**** that many guys will learn to believe by absorbing this kind of crap).

Alpha and beta behavior have the potential to attract normal and, consequently, (and I won't term it as abnormal) unsatisfying, troublesome, annoying, intolerable behaviour in women, but its how you deal with it and what you do with it that matters.

What knights cross said above about girls recognizing their own behaviour rings true as a good sign she can take responsibility for herself and admit to her wrong doings and basically be the kind of girl who cares enough to reflect and know if she has been out of line and make things right. This is maybe what we mean by a normal girl, someone who is capable of owning her mistakes and is not such a glass shell in which she is so easily shattered if anything comes back to her making her look bad in any size way. This is what i respect in a girl, and its not about always being normal and not getting goofy at times, but being self aware enough to recognize and reflect on her own behavior rather than blast off and play the victims and blame and be so concerned about being right and not looking bad.

 

[glass half full]

The women being crazy talk, seems spot-on. And they are pleased when they make us just as visibly crazy as them. Problem is, once anyone else(friends, family) wants to cause problems (out of jealousy, usually) thats when you will find "crazy". And once crazy starts, it's over at some point. The work is to avoid the culprit somehow, or to really convince them that you are the shet, without making the "judges" jealous.

 

[Colossus]

This is maybe what we mean by a normal girl, someone who is capable of owning her mistakes and is not such a glass shell in which she is so easily shattered if anything comes back to her making her look bad in any size way. This is what i respect in a girl, and its not about always being normal and not getting goofy at times, but being self aware enough to recognize and reflect on her own behavior rather than blast off and play the victims and blame and be so concerned about being right and not looking bad.

^

I'm going to defend Knight's Cross here. Some of you guys have such warped and extremist views of females....you are still reacting to past burns. And spare us the "that's just the way they are" rhetoric or the "you'll see bro" defensiveness. I have seen, bro. I have as much real life experience in hook-ups, dating, and LTRs as 90% of the guys on this forum. That doesn't make me better than anyone, but I have experienced a broad spectrum of female behaviors and contexts of interaction. I have been a raging AFC, a White Knight, a recovering AFC, a salty acolyte DJ, a d!ck who got laid at will, and finally now a pretty well adjusted guy who LIKES women for the most part and accepts them as they are, rather than looking at every relationship as this competitive adversarial game of winning or losing.


All women are crazy to some extent. They will all act irrationally, erratically, or sometimes inappropriately when their insecurity buttons are pushed. But most of us men have episodes of assh0lery too, so they deserve a little grace. I know it's pretty much a given that I will be an assh0le, intentionally or not, at least a few times a month. I just own up to it if it was truly uncool, and move on. But I expect the same from any woman I am seeing. A little "I'm sorry, that was uncool" goes a long way. Also like KC was saying, transparency in her life is a good thing. And flexibility. They need to be able to roll with you and accept leadership. If she is fighting you tooth and nail on things then that is a bad sign she has to be in control, and you should leave her.


A lot of guys here draw rational conclusions, but it's from too narrow of an experience base. They've been really burned with unstable women and start to paint all women with one color only. I know it sounds cliche, but sound counsel comes with experience. Read Bradd80's thread in the DJ Tips forum. He has a healthy but realistic attitude towards women, with a well-rounded life and solid game in all facets---pick-up, dating, and LTRs.

 

[gradhodude]

I agree. We are ****s in relationships just as much as they can be *****es, or at least I a have been in my LTR's. When they have failed they have been about timing on kids, marriage, etc. Big life decisions not petty bull****. The girls I dated were all really great girls other than that. You really should know if the chick is a nutjob in the first month or so. If you don't. You are a moron.

Also I have been the one that ended all of my relationships and truly believe that once you hook a good chick, she will be all about you. The guy really has a lot of the control at this point. If you don't you are doing something completely wrong.

Now onto my problem...hooking the CHICK! Dating is such a up and downer it's crazy, again dating not relationships. We have to spend all this money to weed through a bunch of chicks, until we finally hit that one cool one. And boy are there tons of chicks to weed through.

 

[englishman]

I can think of one old girlfriend that I had that was pretty good. She never gave me attitude, sex when ever I wanted it, flexible and forgiving.
She was an Asian women, in the end she went back to her own country.
I'm not sure if this story is a happy one or not seeing as I'm 50!
Sorry man most chicks are fvckin nuts.:cheer: