Mr. Non-Juan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2005
- Messages
- 87
- Reaction score
- 3
The NON-JUAN Mailbag: Answers to Your Relationship Questions, Non-Juan Style!
-----------------------------------------
Greetings, Non-Juan fans! Thank you for reading this week's "Non-Juan Mailbag!"
ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!
"Mr. Non-Juan's VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL" is going on RIGHT NOW for one week only!!
Go to my website - www.nonjuan.blogspot.com - and read the FIRST THREE CHAPTERS of my book for FREE! If you like what you read, you can get a copy of the book for 50% OFF the regular price!!
BUT HURRY!! This Valentine's Day special ends on SATURDAY, JANUARY 28 2006!!
Today's letters...
-----------------------------------------
Mr. Non-Juan:
I got this girl I am talking to and I know she likes me. We talk all the time on the phone and enjoy each others company when we're together.
The problem is not her, it is more me. I like her a lot and I want to make her my girlfriend, but I fear rejection. I know more than likely she will say "yes", but I am still not sure.
I consider her my Sunshine or my Joy and she knows that! I'm kinda shy and aggressive at the same time, but every time I want to take that step forward, my fear of rejection pulls me back. What should I do or say to her to bring this conflict with me to an end?
-J.M.
Greetings, J.M.!
First , you're doing a great job at moving slowly into Non-Juan territory by talking to this girl on the phone ALL THE TIME! If you're calling her everyday, you're not giving her time to miss your presence - an EXCELLENT way to cut off any imaginary thoughts she would have about you were you not talking to her all the time! Remember: the longer you stay on the phone with her, the more she'll realize that you have no life - otherwise you'd be doing other stuff besides talking to her!
The fact that you're putting so much emphasis on "having" to get with THIS girl is FAN-TAS-TIC! The more pressure you put on yourself and the situation, the more she is going to pick up that something's not right with you. Once you start acting like you're uncomfortable around her, she, too, will start feeling the same way, and eventually find another guy to hang out with!
It sounds like you've already given her hints that you like her. The question is, has she given YOU any hints that would indicate feelings for you? If she HAS, then DO NOT ASK HER OUT! Why take a chance on something that may work out based on her positive signals?
However, if she has NOT given you any signals, do yourself a favor and ASK her out! The situation will become so awkward, she may never want to be around you again!
What should you do or say to her? I suggest not waiting any longer, and telling her RIGHT NOW how you feel! And put some real Non-Juan phrases into it to, like "you are the light of my life, and I LOVE having you around me" or "when I am with you, my whole world just lights anew with desire and passion!" Saying these wimpy phrases will make her think: "wow - I thought this guy was a GUY, not some poetry-slinging momma's boy! I'd better find someone else!"
Whatever you do, DO NOT BE PATIENT! Don't wait for her to start sending signals your way indicating she's ready for you to ask her out! Don't wait to see if SHE's the one that's making an effort to spend time with you, or SHE's the one calling you back every time you leave a message, or SHE's the one asking questions like, "so, what girls are you interested in on campus?"
The less patient you are, the easier it will be for you to ruin your chances with her! It would also benefit you to no longer show your more aggressive side, and focus more on your shy side - ya know, the side of you that cares so much about what others think that you end up keeping to yourself!
Lastly, you MUST let this girl know your life's happiness hinges on HER being the one that dates you! Don't give her the impression that you'll get over it if she doesn't go out with you - all that will do is make her wonder if she has competition, and she may end up asking YOU out instead!
Make her realize she is the ONLY GIRL YOU EVER DESIRE IN LIFE. Nothing makes a girl feel more uncomfortable that being chased by a guy who is obsessed with her - make sure she can tell that you're one of those guys!
***ONTO THE NEXT LETTER***
Hi, Non-Juan:
Like you, I'm a Non-Juan. But the thing is, I'm a natural born Non-Juan. I either won the genetic freak lottery with this one, or women truly have psychic powers...
Have you ever had a girl/woman eyeball you, and you go right up to her to commence the flirting, only to have her turn you down immediately? I mean, without saying a single word women are humiliating me as much as possible. I'm almost 21, and this still happens. Haven't people started growing up? At all?
It's like I'm the only mature person left on the planet. Heck, I even temporarily diverted from being a Non-Juan, only to become more of a Non-Juan. I try out the "A$$hole" maneuver as women secretly request when they ask for a 'nice guy'; and they gun me down like a firing squad.
I believe you have some competition here because I'm doomed to be single for eternity. And as well to beat you on this: never kissed, never a serious date, never intimate, still a virgin, and not to forget, never accepted. I'm one of the most likable people around, yet the most hated person to all women; including feminine men/queer folk.
But unlike me; you got around to making a guide and everything; and I congratulate you for a job well done. I love the book, and the advice you give. Strangely enough, I was born with such knowledge too.
As a closing statement; I have categories of women:
Abercrombie’s: Those who wear nothing but A&F, and prefer men to dress the same.
Feminists: The best targets for us Non-Juans. They despise men for being men, and not women.
Vegans: Free love to all, except Non-Juans...
Busy Bodies: In short, Sluts. They sleep around with anyone willing to threaten their lives.
Chickitas: They think they're all that, and think they're Mexican honeys (Which are in truth, more desperate than nice guys that don't know they're Non-Juans), and even call nice guys, gentlemen, and Non-Juans... Desperate.
Cosmopolitans: They're the ones that'll believe anything except what Non-Juans do/say as well as nice guys and gentlemen. Worse, they're a plague born in America, becoming a disease to the world.
What do all the above have in common? They're all hypocritical to their own teachings. And, in truth, want all men gay; or at least to believe so.
Finally, in their own category:
Ladies: Extinct. The only ladies that ever existed were Lady Mary, and Lady Magdalene. And they existed 2000 years ago.
I'm not a woman hater; I'm observant. Everyone just hates when I'm right.
If this hits the newsletter Thursday’s thing, I'm curious of the flack to head my way.
----D. B.
D.B., D.B., D.B.!!
Thanks for the letter, but I must say I do feel slightly insulted! How DARE you say you were a natural born Non-Juan! No man comes into this world knowing how to screw up with women - it takes YEARS and YEARS of de-programming to become a Non-Juan!!
Why do I say "de-programming?" Think back to when you were little: remember when you were on the playground, and girls would try to play with you? As a young boy, you probably chased them around, called them names, picked on them, etc. Notice how, despite these things, girls still tried to hang out with you? That's because this little back-and-forth was how boys and girls "flirted" as kids - they just didn't know it.
As guys get older, society likes to "de-program" our natural flirting instincts in exchange for things that don't work. As a Non-Juan, you've programmed yourself with all types of Non-Juan messages over the years: "never talk back to a girl," "show your sensitive side," "always ask her what she wants to do," "be nice to every girl you meet," and so on. Non-Juans aren't born Non-Juans; they become that way through years of careful study, practice, and re-enforced messages!
And don't think for a second I haven't walked a mile in your shoes! I've not only walked it: I've ran, skipped, crawled, rolled over on, and imprinted my name in those shoes!
I've had girls eyeball me, and as soon as I go over to talk to her, she acts like she didn't even see me! I've gone behind a girl and started dancing with her, only to have one of her friends come over, yell "NOOO!" like she was about to be attacked, and pull her away from me! I talked to a girl for a whole semester who decided she'd rather date another GIRL instead!
You think you can beat my Non-Juan past, D.B.? Your resume is impressive - never kissed, never intimate, still a virgin, etc. Now take your stats and add 3 MORE YEARS to them, and you've got MY stats! You may be a Non-Juan, but not as long as I was!
Lastly, I liked the different categories of women you listed in your letter! Placing girls into stereotypical categories is a GREAT way to continue your Non-Juan existence because you'll be able to place the blame of not getting a woman on THEM, instead of your own Non-Juanish actions!
After all, the girls in these categories DO date and marry guys - just not Non-Juans - but there's no reason you should think YOU need to be doing something different; it's THEIR fault they're wired to be attracted to guys not acting like you!
-----------------------------------------
Thus concludes this edition of "Non-Juan Mailbag Thursdays!" If you found this stuff to be insightful, feel free to write me with your questions at nonjuan@hotmail.com
That's all for now - see ya next week!!
-Mr. Non-Juan
"Teaching Men to be Good With Women.. By Showing How to LOSE Them!"
-----------------------------------------
Greetings, Non-Juan fans! Thank you for reading this week's "Non-Juan Mailbag!"
ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!
"Mr. Non-Juan's VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL" is going on RIGHT NOW for one week only!!
Go to my website - www.nonjuan.blogspot.com - and read the FIRST THREE CHAPTERS of my book for FREE! If you like what you read, you can get a copy of the book for 50% OFF the regular price!!
BUT HURRY!! This Valentine's Day special ends on SATURDAY, JANUARY 28 2006!!
Today's letters...
-----------------------------------------
Mr. Non-Juan:
I got this girl I am talking to and I know she likes me. We talk all the time on the phone and enjoy each others company when we're together.
The problem is not her, it is more me. I like her a lot and I want to make her my girlfriend, but I fear rejection. I know more than likely she will say "yes", but I am still not sure.
I consider her my Sunshine or my Joy and she knows that! I'm kinda shy and aggressive at the same time, but every time I want to take that step forward, my fear of rejection pulls me back. What should I do or say to her to bring this conflict with me to an end?
-J.M.
Greetings, J.M.!
First , you're doing a great job at moving slowly into Non-Juan territory by talking to this girl on the phone ALL THE TIME! If you're calling her everyday, you're not giving her time to miss your presence - an EXCELLENT way to cut off any imaginary thoughts she would have about you were you not talking to her all the time! Remember: the longer you stay on the phone with her, the more she'll realize that you have no life - otherwise you'd be doing other stuff besides talking to her!
The fact that you're putting so much emphasis on "having" to get with THIS girl is FAN-TAS-TIC! The more pressure you put on yourself and the situation, the more she is going to pick up that something's not right with you. Once you start acting like you're uncomfortable around her, she, too, will start feeling the same way, and eventually find another guy to hang out with!
It sounds like you've already given her hints that you like her. The question is, has she given YOU any hints that would indicate feelings for you? If she HAS, then DO NOT ASK HER OUT! Why take a chance on something that may work out based on her positive signals?
However, if she has NOT given you any signals, do yourself a favor and ASK her out! The situation will become so awkward, she may never want to be around you again!
What should you do or say to her? I suggest not waiting any longer, and telling her RIGHT NOW how you feel! And put some real Non-Juan phrases into it to, like "you are the light of my life, and I LOVE having you around me" or "when I am with you, my whole world just lights anew with desire and passion!" Saying these wimpy phrases will make her think: "wow - I thought this guy was a GUY, not some poetry-slinging momma's boy! I'd better find someone else!"
Whatever you do, DO NOT BE PATIENT! Don't wait for her to start sending signals your way indicating she's ready for you to ask her out! Don't wait to see if SHE's the one that's making an effort to spend time with you, or SHE's the one calling you back every time you leave a message, or SHE's the one asking questions like, "so, what girls are you interested in on campus?"
The less patient you are, the easier it will be for you to ruin your chances with her! It would also benefit you to no longer show your more aggressive side, and focus more on your shy side - ya know, the side of you that cares so much about what others think that you end up keeping to yourself!
Lastly, you MUST let this girl know your life's happiness hinges on HER being the one that dates you! Don't give her the impression that you'll get over it if she doesn't go out with you - all that will do is make her wonder if she has competition, and she may end up asking YOU out instead!
Make her realize she is the ONLY GIRL YOU EVER DESIRE IN LIFE. Nothing makes a girl feel more uncomfortable that being chased by a guy who is obsessed with her - make sure she can tell that you're one of those guys!
***ONTO THE NEXT LETTER***
Hi, Non-Juan:
Like you, I'm a Non-Juan. But the thing is, I'm a natural born Non-Juan. I either won the genetic freak lottery with this one, or women truly have psychic powers...
Have you ever had a girl/woman eyeball you, and you go right up to her to commence the flirting, only to have her turn you down immediately? I mean, without saying a single word women are humiliating me as much as possible. I'm almost 21, and this still happens. Haven't people started growing up? At all?
It's like I'm the only mature person left on the planet. Heck, I even temporarily diverted from being a Non-Juan, only to become more of a Non-Juan. I try out the "A$$hole" maneuver as women secretly request when they ask for a 'nice guy'; and they gun me down like a firing squad.
I believe you have some competition here because I'm doomed to be single for eternity. And as well to beat you on this: never kissed, never a serious date, never intimate, still a virgin, and not to forget, never accepted. I'm one of the most likable people around, yet the most hated person to all women; including feminine men/queer folk.
But unlike me; you got around to making a guide and everything; and I congratulate you for a job well done. I love the book, and the advice you give. Strangely enough, I was born with such knowledge too.
As a closing statement; I have categories of women:
Abercrombie’s: Those who wear nothing but A&F, and prefer men to dress the same.
Feminists: The best targets for us Non-Juans. They despise men for being men, and not women.
Vegans: Free love to all, except Non-Juans...
Busy Bodies: In short, Sluts. They sleep around with anyone willing to threaten their lives.
Chickitas: They think they're all that, and think they're Mexican honeys (Which are in truth, more desperate than nice guys that don't know they're Non-Juans), and even call nice guys, gentlemen, and Non-Juans... Desperate.
Cosmopolitans: They're the ones that'll believe anything except what Non-Juans do/say as well as nice guys and gentlemen. Worse, they're a plague born in America, becoming a disease to the world.
What do all the above have in common? They're all hypocritical to their own teachings. And, in truth, want all men gay; or at least to believe so.
Finally, in their own category:
Ladies: Extinct. The only ladies that ever existed were Lady Mary, and Lady Magdalene. And they existed 2000 years ago.
I'm not a woman hater; I'm observant. Everyone just hates when I'm right.
If this hits the newsletter Thursday’s thing, I'm curious of the flack to head my way.
----D. B.
D.B., D.B., D.B.!!
Thanks for the letter, but I must say I do feel slightly insulted! How DARE you say you were a natural born Non-Juan! No man comes into this world knowing how to screw up with women - it takes YEARS and YEARS of de-programming to become a Non-Juan!!
Why do I say "de-programming?" Think back to when you were little: remember when you were on the playground, and girls would try to play with you? As a young boy, you probably chased them around, called them names, picked on them, etc. Notice how, despite these things, girls still tried to hang out with you? That's because this little back-and-forth was how boys and girls "flirted" as kids - they just didn't know it.
As guys get older, society likes to "de-program" our natural flirting instincts in exchange for things that don't work. As a Non-Juan, you've programmed yourself with all types of Non-Juan messages over the years: "never talk back to a girl," "show your sensitive side," "always ask her what she wants to do," "be nice to every girl you meet," and so on. Non-Juans aren't born Non-Juans; they become that way through years of careful study, practice, and re-enforced messages!
And don't think for a second I haven't walked a mile in your shoes! I've not only walked it: I've ran, skipped, crawled, rolled over on, and imprinted my name in those shoes!
I've had girls eyeball me, and as soon as I go over to talk to her, she acts like she didn't even see me! I've gone behind a girl and started dancing with her, only to have one of her friends come over, yell "NOOO!" like she was about to be attacked, and pull her away from me! I talked to a girl for a whole semester who decided she'd rather date another GIRL instead!
You think you can beat my Non-Juan past, D.B.? Your resume is impressive - never kissed, never intimate, still a virgin, etc. Now take your stats and add 3 MORE YEARS to them, and you've got MY stats! You may be a Non-Juan, but not as long as I was!
Lastly, I liked the different categories of women you listed in your letter! Placing girls into stereotypical categories is a GREAT way to continue your Non-Juan existence because you'll be able to place the blame of not getting a woman on THEM, instead of your own Non-Juanish actions!
After all, the girls in these categories DO date and marry guys - just not Non-Juans - but there's no reason you should think YOU need to be doing something different; it's THEIR fault they're wired to be attracted to guys not acting like you!
-----------------------------------------
Thus concludes this edition of "Non-Juan Mailbag Thursdays!" If you found this stuff to be insightful, feel free to write me with your questions at nonjuan@hotmail.com
That's all for now - see ya next week!!
-Mr. Non-Juan
"Teaching Men to be Good With Women.. By Showing How to LOSE Them!"
