No seriously...wtf is wrong with me guys?!

[Rebound Material]

Alright so tonight me and a group of friends went to a club for me and my friends 23rd bday(happy bday to me). Apparently one of my homeboys chick friends found me "cute". Its seriously been a while since ive been considered that(i put on a few pounds) and honestly I lost game. I didnt know what to do. She was a pretty cute girl herself and she was a year older than me(i like that) and I lost game. I guess to me, if even the girl finds me slightly attractive, I lost interest. OR I find that gaining a girls approval of my looks is good enough and I dont wanna risk fcuking sh!t up with her which then makes me nervous....anyone else have this same probelm? Sorry guys, i would get into more detail but im intoxicated and sleepy...

 

[K2000kidd]

READ DJ Bible and apply
link is at bottom of page
happy hunting

 

[Furyguy]

i put on a few pounds

You already know what's wrong with you buddy.

You're out of shape. You don't feel comfortable with yourself, and thus lack confidence. This ****s with your head and everyone else around you can see it, too.

Make the change, do what you gotta do, it'll help you immensely.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

READ DJ Bible and apply
link is at bottom of page
happy hunting

... I think he knows this. He has been here since 06 and has over 700 posts. He is seeking advice!



@Rebound Material

Your confidence may be going down hill.

Need more info!!

 

[Dragon]

That's actually happened to me a few times in life, but only when I was younger. As I got older I grew out of it (I'm 30 now). I can't say what exactly caused it, but if I had to take a psycological guess, I would think that it's a reflection of how you feel about yourself. You may not feel 100% confident and therefore think you're a low value guy so only low value girls like you without you actually "running game" on her. In other words, you didn't even try and she likes you so that made her "low value". It is why we have to work so hard to show active disinterest to make ourselves look high value in women's eyes. If we show that we like them right away, we're too easy. That's what happened with her.

But, I would think the fact that you WEREN'T running game on her was game in and of itself. You were having fun and being yourself without even paying attention to her and then all of a sudden she likes you. Isn't that the exact type of game we are taught to run? Except that you were just doing it "by mistake".

I would suggest that even though you don't have feelings for someone after you find out they like you, get to know them a little better anyway. It is the perfect frame to be in because then you're in the frame most women are in when guys approach them. They don't really like the guy unless he proves himself to be of high value.

 

[Rebound Material]

Wow, I almost forgot about this...

You already know what's wrong with you buddy.

You're out of shape. You don't feel comfortable with yourself, and thus lack confidence. This ****s with your head and everyone else around you can see it, too.

Make the change, do what you gotta do, it'll help you immensely.

I won't argue with that, but at the same time im not classified as fat or chubby but average. I used to be on the skinnier and ripped side but the thing was I stopped cardio, gained more muscle but lost my six pack. Its now currently the average 'belly'. Yea, losing the muscle tonage on my mid section did affect my confidence level. When girls used to slap or lightly punch my stomach they would go "oooh! " and feel up on it. Now when they do it I cringe and sheild my mide section with my hands(thanks alot beer).

... I think he knows this. He has been here since 06 and has over 700 posts. He is seeking advice!



@Rebound Material

Your confidence may be going down hill.

Need more info!!

This continues from my response to Furyguy...When I first found this site 2 years ago, I was at my prime in looks(greatly boosted my confidence level), physical activity(surfed and went bowling every week), and women at around my age level(18-20) at school were an abundance and would almost always mingle back. The thing was, I was still transitioning from AFC to whatever the hell I am now. But yea, I would say that my confidence level did drop significantly.

As for more info...I didn't find out that she thought I was cute until after the club when we all ate at Denny's. Me and a buddy were having a smoke outside and one of friends who's friends with her joined us. He asked me "did you get my text?". I then checked my phone and it read "(her name) thinks your cute". She was sitting with them seperate from our table. Another one of my friends then said "oh yea, i heard her say that at the club". After everyone was done eating and we were all sitting around outside talking, I can tell the boys were trying to "wing" me by telling some amusing yet not embarrassing stories about stuff I did in the past. I honestly felt pressured and thats when I felt nervous even when I was intoxicated. I then told our friend who drove me that we should get going. I said bye to everyone(guys a handshake, chicks a hug) and when I got to the girl, I simply introduced myself, said nice to meet you and left. I was kicking my ass on the ride home about it.

That's actually happened to me a few times in life, but only when I was younger. As I got older I grew out of it (I'm 30 now). I can't say what exactly caused it, but if I had to take a psycological guess, I would think that it's a reflection of how you feel about yourself. You may not feel 100% confident and therefore think you're a low value guy so only low value girls like you without you actually "running game" on her. In other words, you didn't even try and she likes you so that made her "low value". It is why we have to work so hard to show active disinterest to make ourselves look high value in women's eyes. If we show that we like them right away, we're too easy. That's what happened with her.

But, I would think the fact that you WEREN'T running game on her was game in and of itself. You were having fun and being yourself without even paying attention to her and then all of a sudden she likes you. Isn't that the exact type of game we are taught to run? Except that you were just doing it "by mistake".

I would suggest that even though you don't have feelings for someone after you find out they like you, get to know them a little better anyway. It is the perfect frame to be in because then you're in the frame most women are in when guys approach them. They don't really like the guy unless he proves himself to be of high value.

Thats a pretty good way to break this situation down man...Yea, I just have something about gaming chicks when everyone knows who's attracted to who...Im pretty sure my friends that brought her and winged me were pretty dissapointed at me that night...

 

[Rebound Material]

update

Alright so yesterday as I was commenting ppl back on myspace, I ran into her profile under the friend I met her through. I did a pretty wussed out move and msg'd her:

ME: "Hey, aren't you the same (her name) I met through (My friends name) the other night at Denny's after the club? My bad, I was kinda drunk still so Im not sure.."

Of course I was totally sure that it was her. Anyways, before she even responded, she sent me a friend invite and then responded this morning:

HER: "funny. at least you didn't look like you were tossed in a bottle of patron. looked pretty ok to me. I wouldn't have guessed you were that drunk.

(our friend) was actually egging me on to talk to you the whole night but I was too shy and not even close to being drunk to make a fool out of myself. sooo, im glad you messaged me! hahah.

...so I guess its out there now right? Game On! and hopefully I don't lose game!

btw: I hate using myspace/facebook/texting and all that other impersonal crap to try and "holla" nowadays...so shame on me.

 

[Dragon]

Congrats!

btw: I hate using myspace/facebook/texting and all that other impersonal crap to try and "holla" nowadays...so shame on me.

Hey... these are the tools that we have at our disposal nowadays, so why not use them.

 

[Wodan]

Alright so tonight me and a group of friends went to a club for me and my friends 23rd bday(happy bday to me). Apparently one of my homeboys chick friends found me "cute". Its seriously been a while since ive been considered that(i put on a few pounds) and honestly I lost game. I didnt know what to do. She was a pretty cute girl herself and she was a year older than me(i like that) and I lost game. I guess to me, if even the girl finds me slightly attractive, I lost interest. OR I find that gaining a girls approval of my looks is good enough and I dont wanna risk fcuking sh!t up with her which then makes me nervous....anyone else have this same probelm? Sorry guys, i would get into more detail but im intoxicated and sleepy...

Before you read any further im only saying this to help.

An unconfident guy going for an older girl is pretty much the definition of rebound material IMO

The more experienced person plays the more dominant role in the relationship nearly always and girls become sexually active at a younger age.

Also she said her friend was egging her on to talk to you, Thats your job man and will cost you lots more women if you dont sort it out. I happen to agree with you about prefering to be with women that find me attractive, but learn about bodylanguage and quickly recognise which ones like you and approach!

 

[r0cky]

I find that gaining a girls approval of my looks is good enough and I dont wanna risk fcuking sh!t up with her which then makes me nervous

It is your risk aversion that will cost you getting the girl.
A lot of guys, when asured they have the girl interested in them, will avoid escalating and leave things like that. They do this in order to keep their state of confidence.
They don't want to run the danger of creating expectations and then losing the girl.
They are trying to protect their ego, which is so vulnerable that they can't afford to bruise it even more than it already is.

You must accept this.
That what you're trying to protect is your self-image.
That you are not good with women. But also accept the fact that you must improve your game.
And accept that to get good with girls, you must bruise your self-image plenty of times.

"We have a self-image that we've developed, and it sure doesn't include being a guy who women SNUB." - Tyler Durden

 

[Rebound Material]

Another update: We ended up exchanging AIM sn's and cell numbers through myspace. A few hours ago while I was at the bar with some buddies, she began texting me asking me what I was doing at the momment...sounded like she wanted to chill...the texting went about 5 ways each, and her last text said "text me when youre free and be safe"...I didnt get back to her...

Before you read any further im only saying this to help.

An unconfident guy going for an older girl is pretty much the definition of rebound material IMO

Ive actually taken this into great consideration...Im always a bit suspicious when a girl is suddenly that interested in me w/o me making any efforts to attract her...Ill take their word when they say they find me attractive(looks wise not to brag), but when they make all the moves and is somewhat aggressive, a red flag pops up in my head. Anyways, if its just a rebound thing(takes a bow) then I could use this time to lose the v-card and to get some sexual experience...might as well leave taking something right?(anything, other than an STD or a baby)

It is your risk aversion that will cost you getting the girl.
A lot of guys, when asured they have the girl interested in them, will avoid escalating and leave things like that. They do this in order to keep their state of confidence.
They don't want to run the danger of creating expectations and then losing the girl.
They are trying to protect their ego, which is so vulnerable that they can't afford to bruise it even more than it already is.

You must accept this.
That what you're trying to protect is your self-image.
That you are not good with women. But also accept the fact that you must improve your game.
And accept that to get good with girls, you must bruise your self-image plenty of times.

"We have a self-image that we've developed, and it sure doesn't include being a guy who women SNUB." - Tyler Durden

Yea, this is similar to what Dragon was saying and I do realize that ive got to step out of the comfort zone and risk getting anhaliated...you can only gain from this right?

 

[Rebound Material]

update 3

im gonna make this as short as possible cuz im drunk LOL!!!!...alright, so tonight me and her went to a bar downtown wit a few friends for some drinks...it starteted off pretty rough cuz we were sitting next to eachother not talking muchc. Later on as the alcohol kept flowing, we went out for a smoke outside...then I saw the homies cheering as on from insdie the bar...thats when I took her to the corner where no one could see us...then I tried to give her a "shotgun" and it failed miserably...then she told me "you know what, you suck at this", then my ass flared up and said "suck at what? cuz imma go for it"...then I went in for the kiss...which turned into a fcukin public make out....Afterwards, there was this chick who was apparentlyly watching the whole time and said "that was HOT!!" LOL...im prettu shure I could have fcuked her tonight...we're gonna go out again tommorow night to DnB's...wish me lucjk boys....might be the last night I hold this v-card!!!

 

[realsmoothie]

WTF is a "shotgun"?

 

[Prod]

Your looks have carried you through this time, but even good looking dudes need a little bit of game to convert attraction to seduction. Keep it up.

 

[Rebound Material]

WTF is a "shotgun"?

Its when you blow smoke into another person's mouth...its basically passing down second hand smoke...yea, its dumb and mainly made for guys and girls to do to eachother(which hopefully leads to a kiss), otherwise it'd be gay...

Your looks have carried you through this time, but even good looking dudes need a little bit of game to convert attraction to seduction. Keep it up.

yea...honestly, Im pretty sure she saw right through me. There I was trying to bust some smoker moves to try and kiss her and she called me out on it... ..but then again, i answered it LOL.

 

[trd323]

im gonna make this as short as possible cuz im drunk LOL!!!!...alright, so tonight me and her went to a bar downtown wit a few friends for some drinks...it starteted off pretty rough cuz we were sitting next to eachother not talking muchc. Later on as the alcohol kept flowing, we went out for a smoke outside...then I saw the homies cheering as on from insdie the bar...thats when I took her to the corner where no one could see us...then I tried to give her a "shotgun" and it failed miserably...then she told me "you know what, you suck at this", then my ass flared up and said "suck at what? cuz imma go for it"...then I went in for the kiss...which turned into a fcukin public make out....Afterwards, there was this chick who was apparentlyly watching the whole time and said "that was HOT!!" LOL...im prettu shure I could have fcuked her tonight...we're gonna go out again tommorow night to DnB's...wish me lucjk boys....might be the last night I hold this v-card!!!

First, SILENCE IS DEATH to girls. You guys just met and you could not ask where she is from? what she does for a living? What her dream is before she dies? Who her heroes are?

And you had to get drunk to talk to her? Dude, STOP thinking about gaming her and just be real and get to know her. Ask yourself, why did me taking action work? IT is because you stopped thinking about game and went for what you wanted (the Kiss). Seriously, get to know her. Laugh, cry, get angry, be silly with each other because a women makes a simple beer the most enjoyable experience. If you do this and earn her trust, that v0card will be gone and the sex will be amazing.

Good luck. And remember you are the man. If the interaction fails it IS YOUR FAULT and if it succeeds IT IS YOUR FAULT.

 

[Rebound Material]

First, SILENCE IS DEATH to girls. You guys just met and you could not ask where she is from? what she does for a living? What her dream is before she dies? Who her heroes are?

And you had to get drunk to talk to her? Dude, STOP thinking about gaming her and just be real and get to know her. Ask yourself, why did me taking action work? IT is because you stopped thinking about game and went for what you wanted (the Kiss). Seriously, get to know her. Laugh, cry, get angry, be silly with each other because a women makes a simple beer the most enjoyable experience. If you do this and earn her trust, that v0card will be gone and the sex will be amazing.

Good luck. And remember you are the man. If the interaction fails it IS YOUR FAULT and if it succeeds IT IS YOUR FAULT.

I should have added that when she gave me her number, we spoke for about an hour earlier on that day? lol, I know that's nothing. Btw, I was trying to talk to her when I got to the bar but she was still a bit shy(even though she was already kinda buzzin). Whenever I felt like we've got momentum with the conversasion, she would turn to a friend of hers and start talking so im sitting there thinking to myself "fcuk...back to square one". Honestly, I felt that we had kissed too early even though it was kinda cool. Like you said, there wasn't enough rapport built up and I knew that myself...I find something wrong whenever things just happen too fast. In the back of my mind Im thinking that there has to be a catch...I can already tell that this chick is gonna be another fling and nothing promising...fcuk it.

btw, I wasn't proud of the fact that I had to get buzzed to do sh!t.

 

[Dragon]

Rebound, I think you're doing great. Every interaction cannot be perfect and shouldn't be. You already kissed her so you know she likes you. There's nothing more to wonder or think about. Just be yourself, have fun, and escalate escalate escalate. Find every opportunity to touch her. :kick:

 

[trd323]

I should have added that when she gave me her number, we spoke for about an hour earlier on that day? lol, I know that's nothing. Btw, I was trying to talk to her when I got to the bar but she was still a bit shy(even though she was already kinda buzzin). Whenever I felt like we've got momentum with the conversasion, she would turn to a friend of hers and start talking so im sitting there thinking to myself "fcuk...back to square one". Honestly, I felt that we had kissed too early even though it was kinda cool. Like you said, there wasn't enough rapport built up and I knew that myself...I find something wrong whenever things just happen too fast. In the back of my mind Im thinking that there has to be a catch...I can already tell that this chick is gonna be another fling and nothing promising...fcuk it.

btw, I wasn't proud of the fact that I had to get buzzed to do sh!t.

Let her talk about her self and always relate what she says to something in your life.

Her: I hate when guys brag about themselves
You: Yeah, I remember when and I met a friend that was a football player and all he talked about was his mvps,touchdowns, etc. I could swear his head was inflating by the second. You know? I was asking myself if I replaced me with a life sized doll (not the sex one, get your head out of the gutter: this is to her as a joke) if he would notice.
Her: yeah, exactly

Good luck bro. And just be real with her. Really get curious as to what gets her going and I will tell you she will not turn to talk to her friend. She did that because she felt uncomfortable.

keep us updated

 

[Dragon]

Really get curious as to what gets her going and I will tell you she will not turn to talk to her friend. She did that because she felt uncomfortable.

I wouldn't say that. She could've turned to her friend and said something like "OMG... he's such a great kisser". We tend to thing the worse of a situation. Don't even worry about it, Rebound. The girl obviously likes you. It's up to YOU to take the interaction where you want it to go.