No goals anymore

[Jean Paul]

Hi y'all,

It's been some time since I've visited this forum. It has had a great impact on my life. In the past year, my love life has went from non-existent to what I consider to be 'normal'. This has been a huge boost for my confidence.

But this newfound confidence brings about something I did not expect: the way I experience it, I have always been the omega at school. I always adapted myself in order to be accepted, eventually forgetting who I really was.

Now I am a lot more confident about myself I no longer care about other peoples opinions of me, but this has led me to the realisation that all the goals I had in my life were based on the fact that I wanted to earn 'respect' from my environment.

For example, I have been doing university. But I realise now that I don't at all like studiying. I just wanted to 'achieve' something. Now that desire is gone, the motivation for continuing my study has also vansihed, therefore I have stopped.

I am now at home again, doing some work to get around, but with absolutely NO goals anymore in my life. I feel like I am in some kind of mental void, like my mind still has to adapt to the idea that I have my own desires.

I find not having any goals anymore very depressing. When I come back from work, I have nothing to do. This also has it's impact on my social life. I do not enjoy going out anymore. In addition, I am having a hard time getting any girls at this moment, because I have no 'drive' anymore in my life. I cannot pretend to be interesting to them if I have no goals in my life.

I need some new long term goals in my life, but I do not know how to find them. It feels like my mind has collapsed into little pieces and I do not know which one goes where. How can I obtain new goals?

 

[FlyGuy]

1)Find something you like to do, or are interested in learning.
2)Do whatever it takes to get better at it, or learn more about it, etc.

Do you exercise? That's one of the BEST hobbies for anyone. Gives you energy, strength, life goals, improves your self esteem, AND makes you look better! You couldn't ask for a better hobby IMO. It can be anything that keeps you active: sports, martial arts, weight lifting, running, biking, hiking, whatever!

 

[One on One]

I don't have goals either man. Well, actually I do, but they aren't exactly too productive. I just want to play basketball, mack on chicks, go clubbing, go drinking, and start doing drugs. What a great role model I am.

 

[Jean Paul]

Yo dave,

do you have no problem at all with having no goal in your life? I find it very depressing that my life doesn't seem to go anywhere. I don't know if it is the same in English but in Dutch there is a saying that goes like: standing still is going backwards. I need to find out what I want to accomplish with my life before I can go forward, but I have no idea how to find this out.

 

[chalk]

"I just want to play basketball, mack on chicks, go clubbing, go drinking, and start doing drugs"

hahah. What else is there to life!!!!!!>????????

 

[One on One]

Yo man sometimes I do feel bad about having no direction, but then I think about it and it's like I do have a direction, just a different direction. I used to be the good kid, smart kid, you know...did good in school, never got in trouble...hell, I NEVER partied. That **** got me nowhere! Who gives a **** if you can get a good job and make a lot of money...does it really matter?

It's worse in America...in the USA, success is measured by material things, but I'm not about that **** at all. I think success is happiness...it is to me anyways. The direction I'm taking is to just have fun, party, and mess around with girls. I gotta find a way to make a living, yes, but I'm not motivated by material things. So, it is tough, especially since I'm looked at as the classic underachiever, but I just say **** em.