No gf for 11 years and fapping a lot

[skinnyguy]

So here's the story.

My last girlfriend was in 2002 and it was amazing. But since then I haven't had a single relationship. I watch porn and am addicted to fapping. I feel like this is a vicious cycle and I don't know how to get out of it.

 

[GS750]

Here's the deal. Quit the effing porn. That stuff messes with your mind. Google "your brain on porn". Limit your fapping to once a week.

 

[Eternal_water]

^this

I only masturbate one day a week and I don't watch any porn ever and I feel so much better than when I was fapping 3, 4 sometimes 5 times a day and watching porn in multiple tabs all day long.

 

[GS750]

I quit porn completely 3 months ago. No vids, no pics, nothing. Best thing I have done for a confidence boost. The first few weeks are tough, but worth it. I literally felt like I was coming down with a bad cold for about a week, something that I found out with some research is not uncommon as your dopamine levels get back to normal. I think it was Mark Manson that suggested that if you do fap, only think about girls you've met in real life that you would like to bang. Gotta get your mind right.

Here's a very informative artice that will help you. Quit the effing porn before you give yourself E.D.

http://markmanson.net/pornography-can-ruin-your-sex-life

 

[Bagofnuts]

mmm how is it a cycle.. if your last girlfriend was 11 years ago.
are u having trouble finding a girl u like or getting a girl or.... ?

 

[Zarky]

While I think that excessive porn-watching is bad, I do support porn politically.

I think that porn has broken the stranglehold that women have had over sex for millennia. IMHO a guy is at his most natural and real immediately after he's nutted. That's when he's no longer playing the animalistic game of "I'll do whatever it takes to get laid."

So I think judicious use of porn is a good thing, and I think that it's one major reason that women are getting "easier." If a large segment of the male population stops running the rat race just to get p*ssy, then there will be a tremendous shift in the sexual power-balance between men and women, with men coming out on top.

 

[corrector]

So I think judicious use of porn is a good thing, and I think that it's one major reason that women are getting "easier." If a large segment of the male population stops running the rat race just to get p*ssy, then there will be a tremendous shift in the sexual power-balance between men and women, with men coming out on top.

The key is judicious use. Not looking at porn has not helped me find any gf. You can't say if you stop looking at porn you'll meet your soul-mate a week later.

 

[Mike32ct]

Address the porn issue first. Install a blocker on your computer such as K9.

This obviously isn't a cure for your no gf issue, but it is a step in the right direction.

I think porn is much worse than FAP.

This is just a theory of mine....

I often wonder if porn addicts give off a (subconscious) "creepy" vibe to women. After many, many hours of watching porn, how can you look at and interact with real life women and still have a "normal" rather than (slightly perverted) vibe? (Rhetorical question - don't answer.)

I'm not for banning porn. Plenty of guys can look at it here and there and have no problem. But my concern is about chronic porn users that log in too many hours at it.

 

[jimjam]

You better believe they can sense it. It's the same way that cops can pick up the guilt vibe even before they start asking you if you stole that stuff or not.

 

[Mike32ct]

You better believe they can sense it. It's the same way that cops can pick up the guilt vibe even before they start asking you if you stole that stuff or not.

Thanks. To the extent I am correct, it would create a vicious circle.

1. FAP to porn EXCESSIVELY.

2. Try to interact with real world women, but they feel that something is "creepy" or "off" about you, so they reject you even though you might have ok looks.

3. You feel lonely/horny and return to porn.

 

[skinnyguy]

I'm trying the 90 day no fap challenge...but I know that it won't help me find a girlfriend. I'm hoping it will at least make me have higher testosterone and more guts to pursue women.

My question is this. My standards are pretty high. I'm a 4 in looks, but I go for 8's and 9's. I know that this is dating suicide but I don't know how to change it. Ideas? Should I go for fatties?

 

[Mike32ct]

I'm trying the 90 day no fap challenge...but I know that it won't help me find a girlfriend. I'm hoping it will at least make me have higher testosterone and more guts to pursue women.

My question is this. My standards are pretty high. I'm a 4 in looks, but I go for 8's and 9's. I know that this is dating suicide but I don't know how to change it. Ideas? Should I go for fatties?

Do the No FAP first. Don't worry about your standards right now. Once you get horny enough, you'll probably want to take a 6 home lol.

I'm half joking but I'm also serious. I think it would make more women pass the boner test.

 

[GS750]

One thing I noticed when I cut out the porn completely is that I find girls that I see in day to day life more attractive. I think porn gives guys an unrealistic idea of what a girl is supposed to look like because of camera angles, makeup, etc. I also agree with Mike, I think dudes who watch porn excessively do give off a vibe that repels girls, even if they happen to be good looking otherwise.

 

[foreverAFC]

welcome to the club

 

[Jair213]

slow it down a bit dont try to cut the addiction with one hit. itll backfired. try cutting the porn completely and slow down the mb..

 

[nismo-4]

While I think that excessive porn-watching is bad, I do support porn politically.

I think that porn has broken the stranglehold that women have had over sex for millennia. IMHO a guy is at his most natural and real immediately after he's nutted. That's when he's no longer playing the animalistic game of "I'll do whatever it takes to get laid."

So I think judicious use of porn is a good thing, and I think that it's one major reason that women are getting "easier." If a large segment of the male population stops running the rat race just to get p*ssy, then there will be a tremendous shift in the sexual power-balance between men and women, with men coming out on top.

Ok, but even if that were to happen, women will still hold the power to choose (accept or reject you). I stopped watching porn years ago, not that I really ever watched it to begin with. It does nothing for me.

Also, there is and always will be a growing number of desperate males. Women always have options for real dik, hell, they get offers for it every day. Men always have options for internet porn. But, you can't feel real pu$$y on the internet.

Cut down the porn as it makes you give off a creepy vibe. But, you still have to approach. Porn videos are not options, sorry. BTW I cosign corrector.

Case closed.

 

[corrector]

Also, there is and always will be a growing number of desperate males. Women always have options for real dik, hell, they get offers for it every day. Men always have options for internet porn. But, you can't feel real pu$$y on the internet.

There are always other levels of options if the real thing is not available. While you can't feel real pu$$y on the internet, you can get a good sex toy to make the experience more realistic. Right now they are even molding vaginas from real porn-star women and selling them and making them very realstic.

Personally, the best porn I enjoy looking at are escort ads. The reason is you are just a phone call (and some cash) away from experiencing the "real thing".

However, I have stayed away from porn because my system would have to prove a sufficent amount of rejection before I allow myself to look at it. Since I can't prove that, I stay away from porn otherwise. If you try your best to get a gf, and you keep hitting a brick wall, then obviously that's understandable. If you just look at porn without making an effort, then that's just wrong. It's a last resort not a first resort.

That being said, I don't think we can be of service to the OP unless the OP explains why he believes he is a 4, puts up a pic, and people on here help him with his looks. Obviously, if you are a 4 and looking at pics that are sexual which are 10's that's going to make it very difficult.

 

[Zarky]

Ok, but even if that were to happen, women will still hold the power to choose (accept or reject you).

Everybody has the ability to accept or reject everybody. However, if your options are diminished you make choices that are worse for you. Should be pretty obvious.. Economics 1 -- supply and demand. As supply decreases, prices increase.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

So here's the story.

My last girlfriend was in 2002 and it was amazing. But since then I haven't had a single relationship. I watch porn and am addicted to fapping. I feel like this is a vicious cycle and I don't know how to get out of it.

i'd say act on it, George Sodini went 25 years without a girlfriend, he hadn't had one since 1984, committed suicide in 2009, well we all know the story

 

[user name]

You better believe they can sense it. It's the same way that cops can pick up the guilt vibe even before they start asking you if you stole that stuff or not.

evidence to back up that claim please