No Contact means No Contact....period
It doesn't matter how many times she tries to call, text, or email you. You simply don't respond to any of them. It is not being mean or cruel, it is all about trying to heal, moving on, letting go of a bad relationship, getting yourself worth back, getting past a painful relationship, getting your confidence back that she stripped away from you, forgetting all the horrible times she put you through, forgetting how she made you feel horrible about yourself, it is about picking up the pieces and moving forward. Each time you respond or try to contact her, you put yourself right back at the starting gate, and have to start the whole process all over again. It was her fault the relationship became what it was, it was her that acted the way she did, and how she treated you. Therefore, she should accept the consequences and realize that it is over. And if you don't want to speak to her, then that is your choice and she should accept it.
You defeat the purpose of no contact each time you talk with her. It doesn't make sense. Why even go no contact if you call her or reply to her emails? You defeat the purpose and you have to start over again each time trying to forget her. How can you forget her when you keep talking to her? You are still putting her feelings above yours which you shouldn't do. You did that when you went AFC, and you are still doing it now because you are worried you will be mean to her. By contacting her it will also ruin any current relationships you may be trying to achieve because all of her memories will come back and you won't be able to properly heal from that experience.
She knows what she is doing, she has BPD, they all try to contact you again, she is trying to keep you around on the string to see if you will bite, and you most certainly did. Each time you do, its that much harder to break free, which is what you are trying to do. Don't get sucked back in because
you will feel worse than you had it the first time.
Neil, I know its hard, but you have to suck it up and get past this if you ever want to heal from this experience. It is so clear that you haven't gotten over her. You struggled to keep no contact and you gave in twice. She was testing you with those emails, and you bought it hook, line, and sinker. You probably felt pretty good hearing from her again and talking with her again. She is getting to you, you are trying to forget her, you have to keep no contact or you will be dealing with this for a very long time, and you will never get past her, and you will continue to think about her, and each time you hear from her and talk to her you will want more and more. She is like a bad drug so you need to quit now.
You say you have other women lined up. That is good. I'm sure they are normal fun women who you can have a normal relationship with. Your ex is not normal, she is incapable of having a normal relationship, as you well know, and yet you write to her. She is trying to slowly suck you back into her web. Don't let her do it, and don't ruin things you have with the other women. She treated you like crap, devalued you as a man, stripped your confidence from you, and hurt you very badly. Now ask to yourself this question....why do you want to go back to that and put yourself through that pain and torture again? Doesn't make sense. You have other options, some guys don't, you are ahead in the game, so use those options, and don't contact your ex or she will consume you and you will lose out on these new opportunities.
You write a thread saying how many days of no contact, you shouldn't even be keeping a count of how many days. That means you are still thinking about her hoping that you hear from her.
You go no contact, then contact her, then reply back to her....that defeats your entire purpose of no contact.
You got good feelings from hearing from her....you just put yourself back at the starting gate trying to heal from her. Now you have to start the process all over again.
The relationship is over, there is no need to be talking, and its not mean or cruel not to respond to her emails, you are trying to heal, and she is preventing you from doing that.
She will keep contacting you if you reply, this could drag on for months or years. You still want her to be on your mind and be hurting you more? The only way you can break free from her, is to stop all communication, heal, and find a woman who is good to you and for you. Talking to her will only make it worse on you everyday.
she is trying to suck you back in... don't let her do that...
Stay no contact period... or you can never get over her, or the horrible BPD experience she put you through.
Listen to my advice, you will be glad you did.
Stay strong and stay NO CONTACT. It is for your own good and well being.
