"nine reasons people cheat"

[Colossus]

I know this Yahoo! stuff is usually tripe, but this little list is actually pretty accurate, if bit societal.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/9-reasons-people-cheat-430729

I think #'s 1, 4, 7, and 9 are right on.

1. Boredom--one of the most common reasons.

4. Allowance---repetitive cheating within a relationship occurs often because the offended party tolerates the behavior.

7. Confirmation of attractiveness---primarily a motivator for women. This could also fall under the ubiquitous "feeling under-appreciated"; the classic accountability misdirection to justify infidelity.

9. They dont consider it cheating, even though you might--Probably the number one reason 'cheating' occurs. Ambiguous definitions of exclusivity. I know it's 101 here, but I though it a bit insightful for a pop columnist to allude to the reality that mutual exclusivity is a mirage unless BOTH parties have discussed and agreed to such terms.

I think exclusivity is more often than not implied, and this definition varies widely. Single-party exclusiveness is often what predicates a "cheating" event. This could happen in the case of an AFC who thinks his early (foolish) loyalty to a girl makes her reciprocal loyalty not only morally right, but obligatory. Then he is devastated when the girl he has been dating for 12 days is seen grinding up on some football player on a Saturday night.


Thoughts, additions?

 

[COD]

:cheer: -Sometimes monogamy leads to monotony, people get bored with the way things are. Variety is the spice of life-one day you crave meat the next you desire fish.

-The thrill of being adventurous, a little naughty can be addictive to some people. The forbidden fruit syndrome, we crave what we don't have.

-Loneliness is also a big motivator. If a person feels they are being neglected then, they might seek someone else to fill that void.

-You can call it selfish but for a ton of people getting their needs met is a top priority. High sex drives

-The Internet & cell phones makes it all to easy to seek out adventure.

-TV/media makes it an acceptable form of behavior. Having a man/chic on the side” is acceptable.

-some people posses a certain infidelity gene that compels their actions.

-OPPORTUNITY-some have the opportunity with little chance of getting caught so they indulge.

 

[STR8UP]

9. They dont consider it cheating, even though you might--Probably the number one reason 'cheating' occurs. Ambiguous definitions of exclusivity. I know it's 101 here, but I though it a bit insightful for a pop columnist to allude to the reality that mutual exclusivity is a mirage unless BOTH parties have discussed and agreed to such terms.

I think exclusivity is more often than not implied, and this definition varies widely. Single-party exclusiveness is often what predicates a "cheating" event. This could happen in the case of an AFC who thinks his early (foolish) loyalty to a girl makes her reciprocal loyalty not only morally right, but obligatory. Then he is devastated when the girl he has been dating for 12 days is seen grinding up on some football player on a Saturday night.

A woman can easily justify cheating by playing off of the fact that exclusivity was never made official, but more often because they will move the "cheating bar" to the left or right depending upon which definition suits their circumstance.

In other words, when she hangs out at some dudes house watching a movie at 3am and he kisses her it isn't cheating, but when a drunk bar slvt tries to molest you on your way to the bathroom before you can push her away, you are a cheating dog.

Women are by nature contradictory and hypocritical.

 

[penkitten]

i always thought it was as simple as "they wanted to "...

 

[mrRuckus]

Women are by nature contradictory and hypocritical

They even know they are. They just say "i'm a girl. it's what i do." That's the point where you don't give a crap anymore and cheat on them with wanton abandon without guilt after they flaunt nonsense in your face.

Yes, i just had that phrase told me to me last night, though not on this particular subject.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

There are only 2 reasons people 'cheat', opportunity and a reason to do so.

People with a reason, rarely have an opportunity, and people with opportunity need a convincing reason - put the two together and a person will cheat.

In my line of work, I have opportunity thrown at me, but in 12.5 years of marriage my wife's never given me a reason to do so. I still like the home cooking.

 

[decades]

There are only 2 reasons people 'cheat', opportunity and a reason to do so.

People with a reason, rarely have an opportunity, and people with opportunity need a convincing reason - put the two together and a person will cheat.

In my line of work, I have opportunity thrown at me, but in 12.5 years of marriage my wife's never given me a reason to do so. I still like the home cooking.

not exactly. some people don't need a reason.

 

[jophil28]

not exactly. some people don't need a reason.

Exactly, a 'reason' is not neccessary. Some people will just take any opportunity because they can do so. IT is "fun" and they estimate that they can cheat with a reasonable chance of getting away with it.
I guess that you could call "fun" a "reason" at a stretch...Kind of a lame "reason".

 

[azanon]

There are only 2 reasons people 'cheat', opportunity and a reason to do so.

People with a reason, rarely have an opportunity, and people with opportunity need a convincing reason - put the two together and a person will cheat.

In my line of work, I have opportunity thrown at me, but in 12.5 years of marriage my wife's never given me a reason to do so. I still like the home cooking.

I also agree the reason part is optional. I don't mean any offense, but I could see a woman thinking that way, but much less so a man.

Throwing marriage to the side for a moment, if there's one thing a man is biologically wired to be mutually exclusive about, it's sex with multiple women. What's having sex with one woman got to do with having sex with another? Yeah that was a trick question - to us, pretty much nothing.

If you make a personal decision to, say, honor a marriage by being sexually exclusive, that's fine. Just realize that its following the culture of marriage and society. It has pretty much nothing to do with innate biological wiring. IMHO, we're just not wired (as men) to be monogamous.

 

[jafyk]

There are only 2 reasons people 'cheat', opportunity and a reason to do so.

People with a reason, rarely have an opportunity, and people with opportunity need a convincing reason - put the two together and a person will cheat.

In my line of work, I have opportunity thrown at me, but in 12.5 years of marriage my wife's never given me a reason to do so. I still like the home cooking.

I agree with what you're saying. It makes sense. Do you think that sometimes people cheat because they are weak when it comes to sex. I mean look at you, you've had the opportunity lots of times. Someone else could've just given in and not necessarily because of what their partner did or didn't do. After all one can reason "what she doesn't know won't hurt her"

 

[STR8UP]

I agree with what you're saying. It makes sense. Do you think that sometimes people cheat because they are weak when it comes to sex. I mean look at you, you've had the opportunity lots of times. Someone else could've just given in and not necessarily because of what their partner did or didn't do. After all one can reason "what she doesn't know won't hurt her"

Some people might say you are weak for passing up an opportunity for sex.

 

[jafyk]

That's the lamest thing someone can say to me if I am in a committed relationship. I wouldn't even take it as an insult or taunt. What Rollo said is true for the most part.

 

[Jitterbug]

They even know they are. They just say "i'm a girl. it's what i do." That's the point where you don't give a crap anymore and cheat on them with wanton abandon without guilt after they flaunt nonsense in your face.

Yes, i just had that phrase told me to me last night, though not on this particular subject.

The best one I've heard (from a very very AFC guy whose GF cheated on him) was that neither she or the dude she was with got off, so that didn't count.

 

[Da Realist]

9 reasons? More like 9 excuses. The only reason people cheat is that they are looking for something better.

 

[jophil28]

In my line of work, I have opportunity thrown at me, but in 12.5 years of marriage my wife's never given me a reason to do so. I still like the home cooking.

"..Home cooking" eh ? Awww shucks RT..'fess up here. You dont cheat because of your deeply held moral position on infidelity .You can hide it all you like, but under all that liberal leftie posturing of your's there is a traditional Ozzie just busting to get out. :flowers:

 

[princelydeeds]

9 reasons? More like 9 excuses. The only reason people cheat is that they are looking for something better.

I couldn't possibly disagree more! Sometimes, the reason for cheating is simply that he/she was horny and the other person was around. A good friend of mine, who happens to be married, banged his semi attractive, married, coworker in her car one night, as we were leaving a club, simply because she asked him if it was true he had big d!.ck. I can assure you she doesn't come close to his wife in any category. He was horny and she asked at the right time and place.

He said she laughed about it at work, she isn't trying to leave her husband any time soon and she certainly isn't trying to pursue something with him. Another chick he was banging at their job told her that he had a huge c0.ck, she was curious and horny, mix that combination with enough alcohol/opportunity and things happen.

A stiff D!.ck hath no conscience....

 

[azanon]

9 reasons? More like 9 excuses. The only reason people cheat is that they are looking for something better.

Another woman excuse. Men don't look for something better, they look for more quantity.

 

[azanon]

"..Home cooking" eh ? Awww shucks RT..'fess up here. You dont cheat because of your deeply held moral position on infidelity .You can hide it all you like, but under all that liberal leftie posturing of your's there is a traditional Ozzie just busting to get out. :flowers:

Guess you don't know what his favorite book is then. Want a hint? It's sold more copies than any other book in history.

 

[azanon]

I couldn't possibly disagree more! Sometimes, the reason for cheating is simply that he/she was horny and the other person was around. A good friend of mine, who happens to be married, banged his semi attractive, married, coworker in her car one night, as we were leaving a club, simply because she asked him if it was true he had big d!.ck. I can assure you she doesn't come close to his wife in any category. He was horny and she asked at the right time and place.

He said she laughed about it at work, she isn't trying to leave her husband any time soon and she certainly isn't trying to pursue something with him. Another chick he was banging at their job told her that he had a huge c0.ck, she was curious and horny, mix that combination with enough alcohol/opportunity and things happen.

A stiff D!.ck hath no conscience....

And there you go.

The more ethical of the population what to believe there is some underlying, psychological reason. I think some people will do anything and everything in their mind to believe we're more than just the current most intelligent animal on the planet.

People with self-imposed rules need reasons. Those rejecting self-imposed rules do not.

 

[Mr. Me]

Quotes from the Yahoo article, "9 Reasons People Cheat"

do certain situations cause people to cheat?

The premise of the article is incorrect. "Certain situations" do NOT CAUSE people to cheat. To cheat is to make a the choice to cheat. "Certain situations" merely create the environment where cheating can occur.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

The definition of mistake is often stretched when applied to cheating. A "mistake" is an error in judgment. An error in judgment is when, for example, you incorrectly add 2 + 2 and get 5. An error in judgment is when you take the wrong exit off the highway, thinking it was the correct one. An error in judgment is when you cut lumber an inch too short and could've sworn you had measured it accurately.

Cheating is not an error in judgment. It's an intentional act. You KNOW you're about to cheat when you deliberately cross that line. Cheating is not about making a mistake.