Nightclub chick driving me crazy

[MasterYoda]

Hey all,

I havent been here for a while so let me re-introduce myself. My name is James, I am 23 and I live in the England, UK. Parents are originally from Jamaica but I was born here and lived here ever since.

I haven't been practicing the arts of DonJuanism for a while now. I just decided to give up after months and months of no sucess and uncertain payoff. So I am back. I have decided to give this whole thing another shot.

Anyway there has been a development and I was wondering if you guys could help me out.

Like I said in the very beginning I haven't been making any attempts at girls for a while now and a friend of mine just returned from University and decided to hang out here with me. We go out like every tuesday to this nightclub not from from my home town to scout other university chicks or "freshmens". Its called Nubu club. Its basically a hip hop/raggae/dancehall club. My buddy and I have different styles in approaching women in the nightclub. He is more of the kind that wants to just dance and hope that a girls sees him dancing and maybe she might wind up against him. I am the kind that likes to stick on the outsides of the dance floor and scope at the chicks. So far his outgoing style has scored him more points than me ( actually I have had no sucess). WE NEVER GET DRUNK

Anyway about 2 maybe 3 weeks ago I noticed this really cool chick on at the club. She was a HB6-7 to me. She is by no means perfect 10 but decent enough to ****. She was with like 4 or 5 of her buddies. They werent exactly dancing in the middle of the dance floor, but they were on the outskirts of the floor doing their thing if you know what i mean. Anyway I had been eyeing up this chick since I saw here but i hesitated to make a jump at this chick for fear that she would shoot me down in front of her buddies. So I decided to just stand next to them with my pal. So we stood there and this girl wasn't really doing any heavy dancing. Just standing there swinging her hips from side to side. As time went on i noticed guys coming up to her and 1 by 1 getting shot down. It was ridiculous. Each guy would just come up from behind, start dancing with her and then she would just move to another spot. Then you see the poor guy just move along. So I figured I thought to myself "**** this I aint going to do what they just did and get shot down. anyway a few moments later one of her buddies comes up to me and wants to know where I get my hair done. I told her I get where I get my hair done, which is quite far away. Anyway she realises how far and explains she is a hair dresser and does it for money to pay for university. She then tells me she will do my hair for cheaper and will even come to my house. So she gives me her number and I tell her I will call her.

Moments later there is this wet shirt contest with all these random girls doing it. I am there with my buddy and she comes up to me and says in my ear and tells me how these girls are a bunch of sluts. And I agreed. So I ask her what her name is and she tells me. I ask her if she has a man and she says "NO" and then I ask her how come she is not dancing with any of the guys here. She says she doesnt like men just coming to her from behind like that. So I ask her if I can dance with her and she agrees. OK now here is the bit that forever mystifies me. I start dancing with her and then she turns around and says to me she is sorry and then pulls away. i hadn't even been with her for like 10 secs. After that i just turned around to my mate and we hang around till the club ended.

Next week I see her again with 3 friends at the same spot. It's like they hibernate there. But I decide to ignore this chick cuz I couldnt be bothered and I wasn't going to get shot down like again. I too have pride in myself and I too am a human being with feelings. So about 2 hrs in to the night I got tired of dancing so i decided to sit down where the seats were which just happen to be where she is standing with her friends. And 10 -15 later she notices me so she comes up and says hi. I did remember her but I was I pretended like I didnt. I gave her that who are you look. And she smiles and ask me if I remember her and I say no. Then she says her friend gave me her number cuz she wants to do my hair. I pretended for a second like I was trying to remember then I said remembered her. Then I asked her how her friend was and she said she was fine but she was working that night. So then I decided to go buy a beer and never saw her that night again.

NExt week same night i see her. I actually saw her when we were queing up she was standing behind me. I pretended I didnt see her. we get in the club. like 1hr later I see her buddy that is supposedly a hair stylist. I walk up to her buddy and tell her I would like to get my hair done next month and she was cool with that. OK I party alittle. then at the end of the night I walk up to her and ask jokingly if she is a lesbian cuz she never dances. She smiles then looks to her friend (the hair stylist) and whispers some thing in her ear. She then shouts out "he is running game". So I turn to her friend and Its like they double teamed on me or something.

What the **** is going on here?

Is this chick intentionally acting the fool?

Is she just a teaser or is she acttually interested?

 

[MasterYoda]

Forgot to add My brother seems to think maybe her buddy likes me or she is just ****blocking me.

 

[Cod3r]

I start dancing with her and then she turns around and says to me she is sorry and then pulls away

This basically means you can't dance bro..


You've seen her too many times and hence she's got an impression of you already, you're a basic chump, but valuable enough to use as attention status. Forget this girl, her interest in you is almost zero...


-Cod3r

 

[ObieJuan]

Wow, honestly I don't think their behavior had anything to do with how you were treating them as those other guys were shot down as well. A lot of girls go to the club to have a good time but mostly for attention. That was pretty mean what they did to you, too. Don't sweat it, I doubt there was anything you could've done to have changed the outcome of the situation- except next time try and conversate with their friends, make a good impression in an attempt to disarm them

 

[Last Man Standing]

Did you dance sexually with her and maybe she got offended?? One of them likes you but they are waiting to see which one of them you like but since all you do is dance or sit and don't talk to them then you will never know!! Go after the girl you like and ask to see her elsewhere besides the club!!

 

[MasterYoda]

thanks. anymore suggestions?

 

[Ice.]

Aight, I'm going to have to be harsh with this one MasterYoda, I went through the exact same process back in the day..

My buddy and I have different styles in approaching women in the nightclub. He is more of the kind that wants to just dance and hope that a girls sees him dancing and maybe she might wind up against him. I am the kind that likes to stick on the outsides of the dance floor and scope at the chicks. So far his outgoing style has scored him more points than me ( actually I have had no sucess). WE NEVER GET DRUNK

Not a fan of either style, man. You're not just a man; you're a DJ. And DJs go for what they want.

Whatever happens, DO NOT be a wallflower observing people. Loud people don't scare people, quiet ones do. Those are the ones most likely with a hidden agenda, or basically just wanna fvck but don't have the balls to do anything about it.

Anyway about 2 maybe 3 weeks ago I noticed this really cool chick on at the club. She was a HB6-7 to me. She is by no means perfect 10 but decent enough to ****. She was with like 4 or 5 of her buddies. They werent exactly dancing in the middle of the dance floor, but they were on the outskirts of the floor doing their thing if you know what i mean. Anyway I had been eyeing up this chick since I saw here but i hesitated to make a jump at this chick for fear that she would shoot me down in front of her buddies. So I decided to just stand next to them with my pal. So we stood there and this girl wasn't really doing any heavy dancing. Just standing there swinging her hips from side to side. As time went on i noticed guys coming up to her and 1 by 1 getting shot down. It was ridiculous. Each guy would just come up from behind, start dancing with her and then she would just move to another spot. Then you see the poor guy just move along. So I figured I thought to myself "**** this I aint going to do what they just did and get shot down. anyway a few moments later one of her buddies comes up to me and wants to know where I get my hair done. I told her I get where I get my hair done, which is quite far away. Anyway she realises how far and explains she is a hair dresser and does it for money to pay for university. She then tells me she will do my hair for cheaper and will even come to my house. So she gives me her number and I tell her I will call her.

You're lucky her buddy actually came up to you. You stayed too much within their proximity without doing anything. How chode do you think that looks?

My style used to be dancing with them immediately, which rarely worked. I tried talking to them, which rarely worked either coz after a few exchanges, I was clearly bothering them (they wanted to dance).

What you could've done instead is approach and tell em, "Hey, you guys look fun, it looks like the party's over here!" and introduce yourself. But you gotta be the social guy at the club if you wanna do this. If you're not socially proofed around the venue, this is gonna seem too weird.

What I do a lot of times is approach indirectly. One option is to tap them on the shoulder and ask them for a lighter. Before you return the lighter (preferably when you're lighting your cig) you ask them how the party's going for them. Most of the time they tell you that they're having a great time. A lot of times the girls light my cig for me, and that's when I go, "You have a great way of lighting cigarettes" and give a "ahah, I'm just kidding" smile. It's an obvious cheap compliment and they'll probably go, "Haha, thanks." Then you can introduce yourself.

Of course, you can apply the same structure to just about anything you can think of (just not a fan of opinion openers... I hate them, period). From there on, you can either plow through the set or bounce around and re-engage them later on.

Moments later there is this wet shirt contest with all these random girls doing it. I am there with my buddy and she comes up to me and says in my ear and tells me how these girls are a bunch of sluts. And I agreed. So I ask her what her name is and she tells me. I ask her if she has a man and she says "NO" and then I ask her how come she is not dancing with any of the guys here. She says she doesnt like men just coming to her from behind like that. So I ask her if I can dance with her and she agrees. OK now here is the bit that forever mystifies me. I start dancing with her and then she turns around and says to me she is sorry and then pulls away. i hadn't even been with her for like 10 secs. After that i just turned around to my mate and we hang around till the club ended.

Yeah, like Cod3r said, you probably turned her off with your dancing.. either that, or she wasn't really attracted to you in the first place and it was a pity dance.

There are certain ways you could've turned that around.. she re-engaged you by herself ("These girls are a bunch of sluts!") and all you basically did was agree? You could've turned the situation around in many different ways, coz you basically told her: "I'm a guy who is sexual by nature, but I'm afraid of damaging my reputation by being open about my sexuality and cannot stand it if people don't like me so I'm going to deny my thoughts and feelings in the hopes that maybe this girl will like me."

No. Every other chode in the club are probably cheering on the girls joining the wet t-shirt contest but are likely to simply agree given the same situation. The key to successful DJing: differentiation.

Next week I see her again with 3 friends at the same spot. It's like they hibernate there. But I decide to ignore this chick cuz I couldnt be bothered and I wasn't going to get shot down like again. I too have pride in myself and I too am a human being with feelings. So about 2 hrs in to the night I got tired of dancing so i decided to sit down where the seats were which just happen to be where she is standing with her friends. And 10 -15 later she notices me so she comes up and says hi. I did remember her but I was I pretended like I didnt. I gave her that who are you look. And she smiles and ask me if I remember her and I say no. Then she says her friend gave me her number cuz she wants to do my hair. I pretended for a second like I was trying to remember then I said remembered her. Then I asked her how her friend was and she said she was fine but she was working that night. So then I decided to go buy a beer and never saw her that night again.

NExt week same night i see her. I actually saw her when we were queing up she was standing behind me. I pretended I didnt see her. we get in the club. like 1hr later I see her buddy that is supposedly a hair stylist. I walk up to her buddy and tell her I would like to get my hair done next month and she was cool with that. OK I party alittle. then at the end of the night I walk up to her and ask jokingly if she is a lesbian cuz she never dances. She smiles then looks to her friend (the hair stylist) and whispers some thing in her ear. She then shouts out "he is running game". So I turn to her friend and Its like they double teamed on me or something.

What the **** is going on here?

Is this chick intentionally acting the fool?

Is she just a teaser or is she acttually interested?

Again, I agree with Cod3r here. You already formed a chump first impression that is pretty much difficult to get out of. Not chump enough to blow away completely, but low value to the point that you're only getting used for attention/status. Cod3r got it right.

Better luck next time, bud. Hope you don't take any of these criticisms too harshly.

 

[MasterYoda]

So you think there is no way back?

I am suprised at the lack of replies, normally this place has more :cuss: